Spa Day

Ryan got me the best gift for my birthday – a day of pampering at a luxurious spa. Hong Kong is famous for its spas, but I’ve never been to one. Mostly because they’re expensive and we’ve been trying to save money. I guess now that we’ve spent most of it on Europe, it’s ok to indulge a little bit extra.

The spa treated me like a princess as soon as I walked in the door. One woman gave me a cup of herbal tea while another washed and massaged my feet. This alone would be great after a day of walking around, but there was so much more.

They wanted me to put on a robe and put my clothes in a basket. They said my clothes would be cleaned & pressed by the time I was finished. This seemed unnecessary since they were already pretty clean, but I realized by the end of the day that I was so scrubbed and detoxified that it only made sense to wear freshly laundered clothes. Some people probably go there after a day of walking around Hong Kong and getting hot and sweaty. Wearing those clothes after the spa wouldn’t be right.

The robe was purely for modesty since it didn’t stay on very long. They took me to an indoor homemade waterfall shower. It was basically a shower, but it looked like a tropical waterfall. A middle aged Chinese lady washed me with a salt scrub – like a bar of soap, but made with salt instead of soap. At first it was weird having a girl wash me. I’m pretty much used to bathing myself, except when Ryan joins me – and then he mostly just concentrates on my tits. It didn’t take long for me to relax and let the pampering happen.

They put me in a very hot bath after the shower. I love soaking in a bathtub and I wish we had one in our apartment, but this one was too hot. It was hard to get into at first, but I got used to it and as soon as I was ready to just sit there the whole day, they had me get out and go into a cold bath. Going back and forth is supposed to help with circulation. After I got used to the cold bath, they put me back in the hot one. I liked going from cold to hot. Hot to cold was an acquired taste.

I was back in my robe after being cleaned and circulated and away to another room. The robe came off again and they had me lay face down on a table. They smeared mud all over my back, butt and legs. They put hot towels on the mud and very carefully helped me roll over without disturbing the mud towels. Then they smeared mud all over my front. That felt unusual because I could see what they were doing and also because they were very thorough. They put that mud everywhere. Once I was coated in mud from the neck down, they wrapped my front in hot towels. The towels were soaked in some kind of oil, but I couldn’t tell what it was. It smelled kind of like vanilla. After the towels, they wrapped me in a few layers of sheets and blankets. I was like a big human burrito.

While I lay there wrapped and completely helpless, a young Chinese lady gently wiped my face with a hot towel. She gave me a mini face massage with some kind of sponge looking thing and then gave me a scalp massage, which was awesome. Ryan likes to play with my hair, but this girl really knew how to get in there and work it.

They unwrapped me and gave me a bottle of water, which I emptied in seconds after that mud wrap, and took me to another room. There was no robe this time, but I was plastered in mud. Another Chinese lady hosed me down with a removable shower head – every shower in Hong Kong has one – and scraped off the mud with a curved wooden stick. When I was completely mud-free, she toweled me off and rubbed lotion all over my mudless body. Back on went the robe and we were off to yet another room.

I took of the robe again and lay down on the massage table. A Chinese lady covered my butt with a warm towel and dripped oil on my back. The towel seemed unnecessary since she had just seen me naked as a dolphin. I wasn’t sure if it was for her modesty or mine. I went from robed to naked to toweled so many times it all seemed kind of silly.

The massage was great. She worked from my shoulders down to my butt then from my feet up to my butt. My butt seemed to be the center of gravity. Eventually, she took the towel off and worked on my butt itself.

Normally, someone grabbing my butt doesn’t really do much for me, but this was a professional who really knew what she was doing. The leg part was excellent. I need to find a much less expensive place to get leg massages on a regular basis.

She put the towel back on after she had me turn over. She did more shoulder work and worked on my arms. She gave a great hand massage that I wasn’t expecting. When you say massage, I think shoulders and legs. When she was doing my stomach, she worked her way up to my breasts. I was a little surprised when she first touched them. I wasn’t expecting a “special service” massage. This didn’t seem like that kind of place. A friend told me later that they always do your breasts during a full body massage. Maybe that’s why they call it full body. You can tell it’s legitimate by the way they do it. If it feels like your boyfriend, it’s special service. If it feels like a trained masseuse, it’s a massage.

Again she went for the legs and again I was in heaven. A few times while she was doing my upper thighs, she brushed against my special place, but it was more like good touch than bad touch. I never got the impression anything untoward was happening. There were only a couple of times that day that I felt uncomfortable and I’m sure it was more about things in my head than anything they were doing. Ryan says I’m uncomfortable with public nudity and that’s absolutely true.

After the full body massage, a different Chinese lady sat me down in a comfortable reclining chair and put seaweed goo all over my face. I was so relaxed and the chair was so comfortable that before I knew it I was asleep. The next thing I know, I’m walking around the spa naked, except for a towel wrapped around my hair. The spa is full of Japanese ladies in kimonos and they’re all bowing as I walk by. Then I see a sign in Chinese that reads “NO NUDITY!” with a big exclamation point. Suddenly all the Japanese ladies are pointing at me and giggling the way Japanese geishas do in inaccurate movies. I take the towel off my head to cover my nudity and my hair is bright blue. I run out of the spa and onto the crowded Hong Kong sidewalk in only a towel and blue hair. It starts to rain and my towel and blue hair get wet. I run into a park and I’m in the middle of a nudist colony. There are a bunch of naked Chinese people looking at me and I see a sign in Chinese that reads “NO TOWELS!” The naked Chinese people point at me and giggle like Japanese geishas.

One of the spa ladies woke me up and took the seaweed mask off my face. They did some more work on my face with lotions and oils and I don’t know what while two other Chinese ladies gave me a manicure and pedicure.

After they were completely finished with me, they handed me my freshly laundered clothes all folded and pressed. When I was dressed and ready to leave, I wondered how I should tip. I don’t even know how many different ladies worked on me. What’s the standard tip for a day of pampered paradise? They told me not to tip at all and that everything was included and fully paid.

I went home after all that hard work and took a nap. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a better birthday.