Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Christmas Gifts

I got Ryan a new cellphone for Christmas. He’s always complaining about his old phone. It never gets any reception in the MTR or too far away from downtown, it’s too thick to keep in his pocket and it can’t take pictures. His new phone is super thin, seems to work anywhere, so far, and has a tiny camera.

He got me a box of American artisan cheeses from Byerly’s. That might not sound like the most romantic gift, but I’m from Minnesota. I love cheese. A big block of cheese and a chunk of bread, maybe a glass of wine, and I’m a happy camper. Right now I live in Hong Kong – not the best place in the world for cheese – or bread. CitySuper has some cheese, but their selection is pretty limited.

Ryan knows that I’ve been feeling homesick this Christmas, especially since I always thought we’d go home for a week or two. He couldn’t take me home, so he brought a little slice of home to me. More like several large blocks of home. I have enough cheese to last for months.

I’m looking at Beecher flagship & Marco Polo, Bellavitano gold & raspberry, gran queso & bambina fontina, sartori asiago, crema casa and Humboldt fog. If any store in Hong Kong sold just one of these I’d be the most loyal customer they’ve ever had.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Frank Sinatra - I'll Be Home for Christmas

Christmas 2011

When we first came to Hong Kong, we assumed we would go home for Christmas. But then we went to Europe in October and spent all our money. Most of Ryan’s family came out here in September, so it’s not like we haven’t seen them in a long time. It would be nice to have a white Christmas with family & friends, but we have new friends here and Ryan & I still have each other. It’s just not so white.

I miss the snow, but I have to say I don’t miss the freezing cold. It’s actually quite nice in Hong Kong. Yet it doesn’t feel like Christmas. There are no snowmen. The only Christmas trees I’ve seen were plastic. Decorations are mostly just to get people to shop. There is no Christmas feeling in Hong Kong. It’s like going to Peter, Paul & Playland, the Christian amusement park just off I-94 instead of Disneyland. Only one has that magical feeling.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Bing Crosby



Tropical Christmas is very different from the white Christmas of Minnesota.

Amsterdam part 7

The beautiful Vondelpark in the middle of Amsterdam


Bloemenmarkt, the floating flower market


Centraal station, mostly under construction

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Rome part 8

Here are more pictures from the Europe trip.


The Spanish Steps in Rome





The Colosseum inside & out

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Pastime Paradise

When I came home from work today, Ryan was jerking off in front of the computer. He didn’t even try to pretend to stop when I came in. I’ve seen him go to town before, but that’s usually when we’re together. I know he does it when he’s alone. That’s perfectly normal. Everybody does it. I sometimes masturbate in the shower or in bed if Ryan’s not home. Maybe on the sofa. Certainly not on the computer.

What I found strange about today was that he had no reaction to seeing me. If you’re at the computer, you’re going to notice someone coming in the door. There’s no way you can’t see them. Ryan was totally focused on the Asian girl with far too many gentleman suitors. He just kept pounding away until he spilled his seed all over the floor. He was working furiously, so I guess he was just in the zone.

I would be mortified if I were caught masturbating when he came home. He wouldn’t. He’d want to join me. When I came home and saw him, it never crossed my mind to join in. I think maybe men and women are just wired differently.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Elephant Song

Ryan is a talented musician and singer. He’s always coming up with catchy melodies, but he can’t write lyrics to save his life. He’s always singing little songs around the apartment and sometimes the words make me stop and wonder if his mother dropped him as a baby.

This was today’s song:

Elephants, everywhere elephants
Elephants are sucking my dick


That’s my man.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Attack of the Flying Cockroaches

It’s starting to get cooler in Hong Kong, but it’s still nothing like Minnesota. Today was sunny and 20 degrees Celsius. That’s 68F. It’s supposed to get colder and darker the rest of the week. Compare that to Minneapolis. Today was 40F and cloudy. That’s 4C. It’s supposed to get colder and rain the rest of the week. That rain will turn to snow pretty soon. It will never snow in Hong Kong.

The great thing I’ve noticed about cooler weather in Hong Kong is that the bugs all go away. At home, having insects in your house is a sign of dirt and poverty. In Hong Kong, insects are everywhere. Even the richest people in the most palatial mansions have to deal with mosquitoes. What really bugs me is that the cockroaches can fly. I’ve never seen flying cockroaches before in my life. I used to think that the only good think about cockroaches was that they couldn’t fly. Here they can.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Euro Money

There was a time when going to Rome & Amsterdam, we would have to change our Hong Kong dollars into Italian lira and Dutch guilder. Now we only had to change Hong Kong dollars to euros.

When you travel, you’re supposed to look at the exchange rate of wherever you live, but I’m still thinking in American dollars. So if you tell me something costs HK$10, I think of it as US$1. When we converted our Hong Kong dollars to euros, I didn’t think of it as Hong Kong dollars to euros. I thought of it as American dollars to euros. If something in Rome cost 10 euros. I didn’t think of it as HK$100. I thought of it as US$14.


American dollars


Hong Kong dollars


Euros

Thursday, December 8, 2011

John Lennon

1940-1980


Standing in the dock at Southampton
Trying to get to Holland or France
The man in the mac said, "You've got to go back"
You know they didn't even give us a chance

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me

Finally made the plane into Paris
Honeymooning down by the Seine
Peter Brown called to say, "You can make it ok
You can get married in Gibraltar near Spain"

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me

Drove from Paris to the Amsterdam Hilton
Talking in our beds for a week
The news people said, "Say what you doing in bed"
I said we're only trying to get us some peace

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me

Saving up your money for a rainy day
Giving all your clothes to charity
Last night the wife said
"Oh boy, when you're dead
You don't take nothing with you but your soul, think"

Made a lightning trip to Vienna
Eating chocolate cake in a bag
The newspapers said, "She's gone to his head
They look just like two gurus in a drag"

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me

Caught the early plane back to London
Fifty acorns tied in a sack
The men from the press said, "We wish you success
It's good to have the both of you back"

Christ, you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me

Pearl Harbor

“Yesterday, December 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

“The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleagues delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.

“It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

“The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

“Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine islands. Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island. And this morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island. Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

“As commander in chief of the army and navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

“I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

“Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger. With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph, so help us God.

“I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.”

--President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 12/8/1941



Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Amsterdam part 5

Ryan wanted to take me to the Red Light District after his birthday. He went there on his birthday, but said he only looked around – he wasn’t a customer. This seemed a little hard to believe until I went there myself. In the daytime, it’s just like any other residential neighborhood, except there are strip clubs and stores selling porn and sex toys. In the middle of it all is the oldest church in Amsterdam.

What I didn’t like were the signs on some of the clubs. More than a few of them were pretty graphic. These signs are right on the street. At least the sex museum is indoors, in a controlled environment. You have to pay to get in and children aren’t allowed. The very graphic strip club signs are out in public where anyone can see them. Children and little old ladies walk by the clubs on their way to school and wherever little old ladies go. They’re probably used to it, but I can’t imagine seeing anything like this in Minnesota. We had laws against liquor stores being close to schools.

The Red Light District takes on a completely different atmosphere at night. All the customers come out and all the windows light up with red light bulbs. In each window is a girl in a bikini or lingerie waiting for her next customer. It seemed pretty degrading to me. The girls were like products for sale on display. But maybe it’s safer than hookers walking the streets. The neighborhood was also a lot more crowded at night. During the day, people were going about their business. At night, people – mostly men – gawked and lingered. We watched one guy pace back and forth, getting up the courage to go into one of the red rooms.

At first glace, it looks like there are more bars in the Red Light District than anywhere else. Ryan wanted to go to Molly Malone’s Irish Pub because he thinks my family is Irish. I keep telling him my ancestors were Highland Scottish, but he always forgets. He can’t tell the difference between Irish and Scottish, and don’t even get him started on Wales. If we ever go to the UK, he’ll probably start an international incident. Instead of Molly Malone’s, we went to a bar that had loads of Dutch, Belgian and German beer. I don’t usually like beer, but if you’re going to drink it, this was the place. European beer is thicker and makes American beer seem watered down. According to some Europeans, American beer tastes like horse piss. We can only wonder how they know.


Just another street by day
Prostitutes around every corner by night


Out in the open for all to see on a busy canal street


Oude Kerk
The oldest church in Amsterdam

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Amsterdam part 4




I really didn’t know what to do for Ryan’s birthday until the last minute. We were in Amsterdam, so throwing a surprise party was out of the question. Most of the shopping we saw was small boutique stores and tourist gift shops. He wouldn’t like any of that. An Amsterdam t-shirt isn’t much of a birthday present, but I did get him a vulgar t-shirt that he absolutely loves. He hasn’t worn it in Hong Kong yet and I’m hoping he never does.

I decided that my gift to him would be a full day where he could do whatever he wanted without any complaints or judgment from me. My only rule was that I didn’t have to be there. So while he went coffee shop hopping – that’s what they call the places where you can buy happy brownies – they’re nothing like Denny’s – I went museum hopping. I wasn’t interested in watching him get stupid and he wasn’t interested in visiting exploring culture, art and history.

I went to the Rijksmuseum, which is in the middle of a massive renovation project. Only a tiny fraction of the art is on display, but it was still incredibly impressive. I’d love to go back when they’re finished in a few years and see it in all its glory. I also went to the Van Gogh Museum, right next to the Rijksmuseum. It was impressive in its own way. They had a lot of his art displayed in an easily navigated building. Most museums are like mazes – you usually have several different directions you can go. The Van Gogh Museum is kind of laid out like Ikea. You start at the beginning and end at the ending.

At the end of the day – late in the night really – Ryan came back to the hotel happy and wet. It hadn’t been raining, so my guess is he fell in one of the canals. I never asked him about it. I think the less I know, the better.


Rijksmuseum


Concertgeboew

Friday, December 2, 2011

Nude Beach Day



I went to my first ever nude beach, in Hong Kong of all places. Hong Kong isn’t exactly known as a nudist’s paradise. I’ve seen a lot of naked children at park fountains and pretty much wherever there’s open water – especially in the oppressive heat of summer – but this isn’t a place you’ll ever see naked adults. Even at a regular beach, most people cover up as much as they can. I’ve never seen anyone sunbathing, clothed or otherwise, in any park. Most of the women seem to do everything they can to keep the sun away. They even use umbrellas on sunny days. I’ve been told it’s because people with tans work outdoors, and those who work outdoors must be poor. Rich people can avoid the sun. People go out of their way to be as white as possible around here.

It’s December, but not cold at all. It’s a lot cooler than it was a couple of months ago, but this winter is nothing like winters in Minnesota. I see locals walking around in the daytime with big coats, hats and scarves, but I’ve never been cold enough for more than a light sweater – and that’s at night. So when Ryan suggested going to the beach in December, it didn’t seem strange to me at all. What he didn’t tell me was that it was a nude beach.

There are beaches all over Hong Kong. Most of them are mostly empty even in the summer. I don’t think the Chinese are big fans of the beach. There’s a small beach near the house in Clear Water Bay where Lily & Kevin stayed in July. I never saw anybody else there. I haven’t been to every beach in Hong Kong – there are actually more than I would expect – but I’ve never been to any that were crowded.

This particular nude beach was on Lantau Island and very hard to get to. We work on Lantau, but this was on the other end of the island, nowhere near the MTR. I don’t think any buses even go out that far. Ryan borrowed a car from one of his band friends who probably “borrowed” it from someone else. They’re a questionable bunch. We drove out there with a hand drawn map that really wasn’t all that helpful. We probably would’ve had better luck with Mapquest.

We drove around for a long time and got lost a few times before we stopped in a tiny little village to ask for directions. I know more Chinese than Ryan, but still not enough to have a conversation with anyone. I know north, south, east and west in Chinese, but that didn’t matter since none of the locals seemed to know which way anything was oriented, ironically. They gave directions as left and right rather than north and south. They didn’t understand our map at all, but they understood the few Chinese words written on it and told us to go down the road where they pointed. It quickly became the only road, and at that point our only options were to turn around and go back or keep going. I was ready to give up, but Ryan wanted to soldier on. He thought the road either had to lead somewhere or just stop dead. I pointed out that Lantau is an island. The road could go in an endless circle.

Not long after the tiny village, we were at a makeshift dirt parking lot. Ryan decided this was it. He’d never been here before, but his friend who drew the map said there was a dirt parking lot. Normally that wouldn’t be specific enough for me, but in Hong Kong, any kind of parking lot with available space is rare enough to beat the odds. It turns out they were right. A quick hike from the fake parking lot and we were at a beautiful little beach. There was no one in sight, so it’s hard to say if this was really the nude beach, but I would be surprised to see a single person on a beach in December.

Ryan was disappointed that no one was there. I think he wanted to go to the nude beach to look at naked girls just as much as he wanted to get naked, but if you want to see naked girls on the beach, don’t go to Hong Kong. I was glad there was no one else there. I brought a bathing suit and wasn’t about to get naked if there was anyone around.

Ryan says I need to get over my prudish upbringing and be more comfortable with my body and the human body is beautiful and blah, blah, blah. He’s right. I’d like to be more comfortable with nudity. I went to a great spa on my birthday and my discomfort took something away from the experience. It was great, but it would have been better if I was more relaxed. The ladies there were not trying to hurt me at all. They only wanted to pamper me.

I also know that the trip to the nude beach wasn’t just so I can gain confidence. Ryan wanted to look at naked girls.

The water was too cold for a swim. I’m never very confident about water quality here anyway. They have a system that tells you if the water’s ok that day, but that just makes me wonder. I’d rather swim where the water never has hazardous days.

Ryan got naked right away. He loved running around with everything hanging out. I stayed in my bathing suit for a while. Eventually, I took off my top. There was absolutely no one around and no hint that there ever would be, so I went full monty. It felt nice feeling the sun all over my body, even if it wasn’t a warm summer day. December is not especially cold here, but I think the beach would be better pretty much any other time of the year. It felt nice, but it’s not something I’ll be doing on a regular basis. I’d like to get to the point where I’m comfortable enough to do it with other people around, but we really don’t do much beachgoing in Hong Kong and this beach was a pain in the butt to find. They say it’s supposed to get colder in the next few weeks, so this was probably our last beach trip this year.