Clear Water Bay House part 1

Kevin’s boss is taking his annual trip out of Hong Kong and has asked Kevin to watch his house at Clear Water Bay again. Of course, Kevin wants to stay there instead of my tiny apartment. It’s a huge house with everything you need. My apartment just can’t compete. I have one bedroom and one bathroom. This house has four bedrooms and four bathrooms. Plenty of room for all of us. I don’t need to stay there, but Lily doesn’t want me to be alone and I don’t want me to be alone. She also doesn’t want to have to choose between staying in a tiny apartment with me or in a beautiful house with Kevin.

I think it’s a great house and I’d love to stay there if I was on vacation, but it’s not very convenient for work. It’s a lot easier to get to Disneyland from my apartment than from their apartment. The house is somewhere in between. It’s farther away from Disneyland than their apartment, but you can take the MTR most of the way. It just takes a lot of MTR to get there. It’s something like six different lines. That’s a lot of transfers when the stations are crowded. We can get there from my apartment using only two lines and then that special Disneyland line. That one doesn’t really count since it takes a minute and you get those Mickey trains.

Kevin can easily get to his day job from the big house, so it makes sense that he stay there. He can also get there easily from my apartment, but the house is much better. I’d rather stay at the house if I were him.

So Kevin will stay at the big house and Lily will probably stay with Kevin. Maybe sometimes she’ll stay at my apartment when she has to go to work early. I don’t know what I’ll do. I can definitely stay there on my days off and when I go to work late, but I’m not sure if I want to stay there every day.

Ryan in China Again part 6

Ryan got his Skype to work, but it’s terrible. The picture is always crap, the sound goes in and out, sometimes the video turns off on its own, sometimes the whole thing disconnects on its own. We don’t know if it’s a China issue or just an internet issue. His internet isn’t very reliable either. A lot of sites are completely blocked and even when he can get on some, he gets disconnected at random.

We still talk on the phone all the time because it’s hard to talk on Skype. Half the time we can’t understand each other because the sound is so bad. It would be nice to see him. Isn’t that the whole point of this technology? We’ve got all the bells and whistles of the modern age and we’re still talking on the phone like animals.

Ryan in China Again part 5

Ryan sent me pictures of his four story house. It’s tiny. Each floor is smaller than our apartment. It’s just a room, stairs and bathroom on each floor. At least they have four bathrooms, but they’re also tiny. Most one story American houses are bigger than this entire place.

Homererotic

I had a dream about the Simpsons last night. I think that’s weird because I never watch the Simpsons. We don’t get it here.

In my dream, Homer is getting ready to go to work when Marge comes out of the bathroom wearing a bright red chemise with matching red panties. It worked really well with her yellow skin and blue hair. When Homer sees her, he starts to drool on his tie.

Marge climbs onto the bed on all fours and Homer quickly tears off his clothes. He takes Marge’s clothes off with his teeth while she rubs his bald head. As soon as they’re both naked, he goes down on her. Naturally, she has a puffy blue crotch. While he’s eating her out, she screams in that gravel Marge voice. There might be a fetish about that somewhere, but I don’t think it sounds sexy at all.

Homer gets tired and flops down on the bed. So Marge decides to blow him, but she has to find his yellow dick first. It’s not very big and buried under a lot of fat. She eventually finds it and starts slurping away. Homer drools again, sprawled out on the bed while Marge goes to town.

Marge tries to mount Homer, but she can’t get at his tiny dick with his giant stomach in the way. So they switch places and Homer gets on top of Marge. He tries to put it in, but Marge can’t breathe with the weight of Homer on top of her. So they go for doggie style and Homer finally penetrates her.

Homer grabs Marge’s hips and pounds away while Marge looks kind of bored with it all. She sneezes and this excites Homer even more. He asks her to sneeze again and again until he comes. He flops back down on the bed as Marge gets up and leaves the bedroom.

Ryan in China Again part 4

Ryan can’t get his Skype to work. Mine works fine. I called Disneyland and talked to Minnie Mouse. That’s not as strange as it sounds. I know Minnie personally. She’s more Chinese than you might expect, and she’s definitely not sleeping with Mickey, let me tell you.

Lily & Kevin Skyped their families in Canada. It’s all free anywhere in the world as long as you’re calling another Skype user. I think that’s pretty convenient. The technology is remarkable, when you think about it. But the more you think about it, the more you realize that Skype will be obsolete in no time. Sometime else will come along sooner or later.

Ryan can’t Skype me at all and mine always says that he’s offline, even when we’re on the phone and he says he’s online. I don’t know if it’s a government censorship issue that can’t be resolved or an internet issue that will be resolved eventually or just some temporary issue that might resolve itself. It would be nice if we could see each other. What’s the use of all this science fiction technology if it doesn’t work? At least we still have the phone. Sometimes old school works best.

Ryan in China Again part 3

Ryan finally got the internet connected. Doing it in Mainland China is nothing like doing it here. In Hong Kong, we simply called the phone company and they did whatever they do. They had to send a guy to our apartment which I didn’t like because he was dirty. He actually left a greasy stain on the wall. But it was all pretty easy. In China, Ryan had to go to some government office and get permission to have the internet. Can you believe that? It’s not a basic service, it’s a special privilege.

Ryan and the band are living in a house owned by the guy who owns the club where they’re working. It’s a four story house, but Ryan says it’s not nearly as big as it sounds. He says there’s just barely enough room for everyone.

Since the house is in someone else’s name, they had a hard time getting the internet. The government didn’t like that the names didn’t match and the owner didn’t want to go to the government office. Probably for reasons I don’t want to know about. Somehow they got everything worked out.

After the government said he could have the internet, he had to wait for the internet company to turn it on. Apparently, they don’t just flip a switch. Or if they do, they take their sweet time doing it.

Living with Lily part 3

My only gripe about having Lily & Kevin here is that there’s only one bathroom. That would work out if Lily & I shared or Lily & Kevin shared, but our schedules work out that Kevin & I wake up at around the same time while Lily still has time to sleep. It’s easier at night since nobody’s in any hurry to get anywhere and all of our work days end at different times.

I haven’t noticed any big adjustment to living with Kevin. I’m used to living with Ryan and living with one boy is pretty much like living with them all. They’re all slobs in the bathroom. And in the kitchen, or what we call our kitchen. And anywhere, really.

It bothers Lily when Kevin leaves dishes in the sink, but I’m used to it because Ryan does it all the time. Lily also complains about Kevin’s shaving stubble in the bathroom sink, but at least he shaves every day. Ryan started growing one of those stupid little goatee things the second he took some time off from Disney. I don’t like it. When he comes back from China, he’s going to look like Abraham Lincoln.

It’s a cliché to say that boys don’t know how to use a toilet seat, but it’s also true. And for all the bragging boys do about their ability to aim while urinating, you’d think they would be better at it. Lily likes to point out that she is not Kevin’s mother and should not have to clean up his messes. That always makes me laugh because no mother with a child that old should have to do anything like that.

Some men will say they should be allowed to be slobs since they bring home the bacon and provide protection. Around here, we all share the rent. So that means the boy pays less than the girls. And Hong Kong is not a wild west frontier town. I would be astonishingly surprised if anyone ever broke into our apartment. Woe unto anyone who tries with Lily around. If Kevin knows how to kick your butt, Lily knows how to kick the other side.

I miss Ryan, but having Lily & Kevin around makes it a lot easier. But if Kevin grows a goatee, I’m going to have to kick him out.

Living with Lily part 2

I decided that Lily & Kevin should take the bed and I would sleep on the sofa. I’m from Minnesota and that’s what any good Midwestern hostess would do. Lily wouldn’t have it. She’s from Canada. She didn’t want to put me out of my own bed, especially since they really didn’t need to stay there anyway. There’s no way two people can sleep on the sofa together, but plenty of room for two in the bed. So we decided that Lily & I would share the bed while Kevin got the sofa. He doesn’t mind. It just makes it easier for him to watch TV at night after the rest of us are asleep. There’s no TV in the bedroom. He also wakes up a lot earlier than Lily. Being in a different room allows him to make more noise in the morning. I’m also a morning person, so logistically, we should share the bed while Lily sleeps on the sofa, but no one suggested that combination.

You’d think Lily & I sharing the bed might interfere with their sex life, but you’d be wrong. Lily & Kevin are most definitely living together in sin. Only now they have a platonic roommate. Does that reduce them to a half sin?

Very late Saturday night, Lily went out to the living room and I’m pretty sure they got it on. I was mostly asleep, so I might have dreamed the whole thing, but I think it happened. It seemed loud enough to be real.

I like having them here. I don’t care if they have sex on the sofa. As long as I’m asleep in the other room, they’re not hurting anybody. They can even do it in the bed, as long as I’m somewhere else. I know if it was Ryan & me at someone else’s place we would still get it on whenever we could. Young, healthy, committed couples are going to have intercourse. It’s not my place to stop that sort of thing, and I wouldn’t want to if I could. Unless they’re in the bathroom and I need to get in there. Knock boots wherever you want, just don’t hog my bathroom.

Living with Lily part 1

Three nights alone was my limit. I’m not used to living alone and got lonely without Ryan around, so I asked Lily to stay with me while he’s in Mainland China. She didn’t want to leave Kevin alone in their apartment, so now he’s staying here, too. They’re staying at my apartment instead of me staying at theirs for two important reasons – it’s easier to get to everybody’s work from my apartment, especially for Kevin, and theirs is much smaller. It’s kind of funny since my apartment has always seemed so tiny to me, but theirs is even smaller. Hong Kong is famous for tiny apartments. It probably also helps that Lily spent some time here last summer.

Lily & I kind of lived together last summer when Ryan and Kevin were mostly living at Kevin’s boss’s house. We already know that we like living together. Kevin is the big question mark here. It also brings up what my mother would call living in sin. By most definitions, you are only living in sin if you live and sleep with a man to whom you are not married. Kevin and I are not doing anything like that. Some of the more conservative types would say we are living in sin since we are neither related nor married, despite sleeping on separate furniture.

Pretty much everyone agrees that Ryan & I lived in sin. We have been living together since high school – until now, that is – and most definitely shared a bed. Kevin is now the first boy I’ve ever lived with that I was not related to or sexing up like a storm. Then again, Lily is the first unrelated girl I’ve ever lived with. I went from one roommate to two, and I’m not having any sex. Maybe that’s what reminds me of living with my parents.