Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Kung Flu part 2

When the hospital got the lab results from my throat swab, they wanted me to come in. That was not what I wanted to hear. Ideally, they would have told me to eat plenty of donuts and take a nap a day and the cough would go away. That almost never happens.

Instead, they wanted me to stop taking the flu pills and cough syrup. I paid $5 for those drugs, and now I'm just supposed to throw them away. Worse, they wanted me to buy another $5 worth of drugs. The new drugs are more specific.

“You have the avian influenza,” the doctor told me.

Bird flu. I caught bird flu. How that happened is anyone's guess. Apparently, people get it every year. It is not on the news anymore because hundreds of people are not dying from it, fortunately. My prognosis is very favorable. The new pills are supposed to wipe it out. After the last few pandemics that killed hundreds of people, the doctors around here came up with better ways of treating it.

Before I came to Hong Kong, several people warned me that I would get some exotic disease. This was several years after SARS and right after the big swine flu outbreak. It's funny because Hong Kong is no more contagious than any other large city. No one covers their mouths when they cough or sneeze, so colds spread faster than online rumors, but this is not the kind of place where people catch malaria or hepatitis. Hong Kong is fairly far from the nearest jungle.

But I'm pretty sure I would have never caught bird flu in Minnesota.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Kung Flu

After about a week of coughing, sneezing, huffing and puffing, I went to the hospital.

Where I come from, we don't go to the hospital just because we have a cold. That's how you go bankrupt. Around here, people go to the hospital for every little thing. An ER visit in the United States can eat up both your day and bank account. In Hong Kong, you can be in and out of the ER in about an hour, $5 poorer.

Going to the hospital for a cold still seems strange to me, but I could not stop coughing, so I whipped out a few dollars and spent ten minutes on the MTR.

This is cold and flu season, so I had to wait another ten minutes before I could see a nurse who did all the little preliminary things that nurses do before you can see a doctor. The hospital was busy, so it was a whopping five minutes before the doctor came around. After pressing his ice cold stethoscope against my coughing chest, he wanted to look at some x-rays. That was another five minutes down the drain.

After looking at the chest x-ray, the doctor wanted to swab my throat. As a woman, I should be used to men wanting to put tiny tubes inside me, but I have never been a fan of having my throat swabbed. Fortunately, it rarely comes up. The swab would have to go to the lab, wherever that is, but in the meantime, they gave me some pills that supposedly keep my head from catching on fire, and some of that sweet opium liquid for the cough.

About three hours after leaving my apartment for the hospital, I was back home. I could have been back in a little over an hour, but I had to do some grocery shopping. I may be coughing enough to fill the Hindenburg, but laundry soap does not just magically appear.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Christmas 2015




Christmas Medley
Judy Garland, Mel Tormé, Jack Jones, Liza Minnelli, Tracy Everitt, Lorna Luft, Joey Luft

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

I'd Like to Thank the Academy

I consider myself a dancer more than anything else. I have spent far more time on training and practicing dance than anything else. But it turns out I'm a pretty good actor.

Cold and flu season jumped out from behind a corner and hit me square in the face this year. One day, I was fit as a fiddle and ready for whatever life brought. The next day, I was coughing up a lung and plugging my nose up with a cork. I never saw it sneaking up on me. It was an ambush.

I don't know anyone whose job gets excited when they take sick days off, but my job practically requires it when we are contagious. We are always supposed to project an image of happy sunshine and rainbows. Coughing and sneezing all over the place is not the Disney way. For ten months of the year, they would rather have less productivity than tarnish that image.

But this is the big holiday season, and the worst time of the year to take any days off. This is easily our busiest season. Taking a vacation in December/January is rare, but it can be done with enough advance planning. Calling in sick with no notice is not good for anybody around here. It puts an unnecessary strain on the people you have to work with when you come back.

So I went to work feeling like a dog on the wrong end of a car wash. This is where my great acting skills came into play. We were doing a show that everyone had already rehearsed a million times. That was the easy part. But I put on my happy face and acted like I was not sick. I had no idea how successful I would be, but about halfway through one of my least favorite songs, I had a sudden urge to relieve myself. This is not uncommon in my profession. There are all kinds of tricks of the trade, but all of my energy was focused on acting like I was not the least energetic person in the room.

So I did something that Katharine Hepburn taught me. She did not personally teach me anything. She and I were probably never in the same city at the same time. In an interview, she described shooting a scene in one of her Spencer Tracy movies. He was agitated and needed a drink and she needed to use the bathroom. They had already shot a million takes and everyone was ready to go home. She said that she used the intensity of a full bladder to deliver her lines twice as fast as before, which prompted Tracy's surprised reaction. Everyone liked it, and they could move on.

My situation was a little different, but by focusing on my bladder, my sneezing and waterfall nose subsided until they knew they could have my full attention. The second I could get off stage safely, I went to the nearest restroom. You know that scene in The Green Mile after Michael Clarke Duncan gives Tom Hanks a prostate exam and Hanks can finally let loose? The look on Tom's face is exactly how I felt.

Then I went back to coughing and sneezing.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Please Stand By



Due to technical difficulties, today's post no longer exists. I typed up something and the internet exploded temporarily. I don't feel like typing it all over again, but rest assured, it was brilliant and hilarious and would have made the world a better place for all of humanity. Oh, well.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Adventures in Publishing

All of the e-book versions of all of my books are currently on sale at a discount price at Amazon. This does not mean I have been reduced to the discount bin. Yet. This is a holiday sale that I knew about beforehand. It will end sometime after the new year and then everything goes back to the regular high book prices. Personally, I think all e-books should always be 99 cents, but then no one would make any money, except whichever site you pay the 99 cents.

The paperbacks are always on sale. That has nothing to do with holiday specials. Every website that sells them always seems to be trying to match someone else's price. So the price at any one site can change at any time. I also think paperbacks are too expensive, but they have to be printed, unlike e-books, so 99 cents is definitely not an option.

The big holiday sale at Amazon is only at Amazon. Other sites do pretty much whatever they want when it comes to pricing. For example, a site called Booktopia sells the Bali Diary for $19.50, which is just insanely high. Tower Records sells Nudist Cruise for $11.95. I did not even know they were selling my books. I did not even know Tower still existed outside of Japan. I never saw any of my books at the Tower in Shibuya, but then again, I never checked. I only look at the CDs when I go there.

The bottom line is, if you want to buy my books, and that's something you should really want to do, now is the time. Christmas is always a great time to spend money you don't have. Why not spend it on my exciting illiterary adventures?

Or you can wait until the prices go back up again. It is your choice. As long as you buy them. That's the important thing.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

John Lennon

1940-1980


Everybody's talking and no one says a word
Everybody's making love and no one really cares
There's nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs

Always something happening and nothing going on
There's always something cooking and nothing in the pot
They're starving back in China so finish what you got

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
Strange days indeed

Everybody's running and no one makes a move
Everybody's a winner and nothing left to lose
There's a little yellow idol to the north of Kathmandu

Everybody's flying and no one leaves the ground
Everybody's crying and no one makes a sound
There's a place for us in the movies you just gotta lay around

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
Most peculiar, mama

Everybody's smoking and no one's getting high
Everybody's flying and never touch the sky
There's UFOs over New York and I ain't too surprised

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
Most peculiar, mama

Monday, December 7, 2015

Pearl Harbor

“Yesterday, December 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

“The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleagues delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.

“It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

“The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

“Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine islands. Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island. And this morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island. Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

“As commander in chief of the army and navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

“I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

“Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger. With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph, so help us God.

“I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.”

--President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 12/8/1941



National Pearl Harbor Memorial

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Thanksgiving 2015

I have spent more than a few Thanksgivings in Hong Kong. Two years ago, we went to a Michelin star Italian restaurant for Thanksgiving. I was not all that wild about the food. I have been to several hole in the wall Italian restaurants that were far superior. A lot of people will disagree with me, but I think Italian food is better when made by an old married couple in the kitchen. Celebrity chefs get all the attention, but their revolving door staff can never match what Nonna Leone can do.

Ironically, we went to a Japanese restaurant near Canton Road last year. That was another trendy hot spot with average food. Having been to Japan, I can confidently say that some anonymous guy making noodles by the side of the road can deliver a more honest meal than a celebrity chef from Italy who trained in London and makes Japanese food in China.

This Thanksgiving, Lily and I were in Japan. We could have easily had a better Japanese Thanksgiving dinner than what we had last year in China, but I wanted something more American. People always tell me it's crazy to seek out American food while traveling in other countries. You are in that country, so you should eat that food. I mostly agree, but I live in China. I don't eat American food every day. I rarely eat American food at all. Around here, authentic American food means McDonald's and Haagen-Dazs. There are plenty of “American” restaurants in China, but they are as authentic as American dim sum. We ate plenty of Japanese food throughout the trip, but for Thanksgiving, I wanted something more familiar.

Tokyo has plenty of American expats and restaurants that cater to our tastes. We heard about several restaurants that had special Thanksgiving menus. We picked a place just south of the Shibuya station called Good Honest Grub because we liked their menu and, this part is important, they had reservations available. Rather than one night of Thanksgiving, they did it all week.

Despite the terrible name, this was a nice restaurant. They are only open for breakfast and lunch, and close when the sun goes down, so their chefs are never going to be famous and they are unlikely to ever get any Michelin stars. But they use a great deal of fresh, local produce and are a rare non-smoking restaurant in Tokyo.

Something I was a little disappointed in was their pumpkin pie. I have been on a bit of a quest to find real pumpkin pie for several years now. Most places in Hong Kong use the cheapest butter they can find in their crust, if they even have a crust, and the pumpkin filling tastes nothing like pumpkin. I think most of them use sweet potatoes or squash instead. Good Honest Grub's pumpkin pie tasted like pumpkin, and the crust was much better than anything in China, but they seem to have forgotten the nutmeg. Pumpkin pie without nutmeg is like brownies without smashed up chocolate bars.

It was a good Thanksgiving meal overall, and Tokyo has a million places to get dessert. Since Thanksgiving is meaningless in Japan, nothing closed early. Ice cream and imagawayaki were available all night.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Sleeping in Tokyo

We stayed at the Shibuya Excel Hotel Tokyu, which is obviously in Shibuya. We stayed in Shibuya the last time we went to Tokyo, so we wanted to branch out a little more. We spent more time in Shinjuku this time, but the last thing we wanted to do was go all over the city. There is more than enough to experience for a week in Shibuya and Shinjuku.

The hotel is just outside the JR station. Since it sits on top of a shopping mall, you can walk from the station to the hotel without ever setting foot outdoors; a convenience on rainy days. This is a standard business hotel that looks and feels like what you expect from business hotels in Japan, but our room was larger than we expected. We did not book the cheapest room, because there were two of us, but we did not book the most expensive suite either.

They were supposed to give us two single or double beds, or whatever they want to call it. In East Asia, bed sizes never seem to match what we call them in the United States. I have slept on queen size beds that would be just right for a child. The hotel put us in a room with one king size bed. I don't think it was really king size, but it was big enough. Fortunately, Lily and I are good friends. It would have been awkward if this was a business trip.

Despite the lack of beds, which they were never able to fix, the service at the hotel was everything we expected from a business hotel in Japan. The housekeeping ninjas kept the room immaculate. We never saw them, but they were obviously there.

In parts of China, housekeeping will knock on your door day or night. Whenever they happen to be making the rounds, they will come to your room. No one really cares about do not disturb signs on doors. If they are cleaning your floor right now, they are coming to your room. I have dealt with a few people who were confused by the lock on the door and did not seem to understand why they could not get in. I have had housekeeping knock on my door at six o'clock in the morning. I'm usually awake, but I doubt most everyone else is. Even if the timing works out that no one tries to get into your room while you are sleeping, you will definitely see those housekeeping carts in the hallway. More often than not, they block the hall and you need to move them just to walk to the elevator.

In Tokyo, we never even saw the carts. They were obviously there when we were out, but we did not keep anything close to a regular schedule. We came and went at random and were prone to going back to the room in the middle of the day. It never mattered what time it was. No one was ever seen or heard. But the room was always cleaned.

Breakfast was included with our room, but we only ate it once. It was not bad for a hotel breakfast, but we were surrounded by food. Why eat something average when you have some of the best food in the world just outside your door? Sure, the hotel breakfast is free, or at least included in the price, but if you are prone to pinch pennies, Tokyo might not be for you.

The bathroom was not as modern as we expected, but it had the standard electronic toilet that gives every trip to Japan that little something extra. I was actually glad they had not renovated the bathroom recently. Whenever they do, they will probably put in one of those window walls that every hotel in China seems to have now. I like windows, but I want to use them to see what is outside the hotel, not to see what my roommate is doing in the bathroom. Not everyone who stays in a hotel is a couple, and not every couple wants to watch each other on the toilet. I know enough Chinese people who agree with me on that one. I'm hoping the Japanese feel the same way.

One of my favorite things about this hotel was the view. Cleanliness and comfort are far more important, but in Japan, your room is going to be clean. That's a given. This hotel is up to 25 floors above a shopping mall, which itself is 3 or 4 floors, so most rooms have good views of the neighborhood. Since our room faced north, we had a great view of the Shibuya crossing, Yoyogi Park and downtown Shinjuku. The last time we were in Tokyo, we stayed in an apartment. We had views of the neighboring buildings. This time, we had a postcard view from a large window. There are a million hotels in Tokyo, but I would not mind staying at this one next time.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Home Again

Lily and I are back in Hong Kong. We left Tokyo Friday night, landed in Hong Kong very late Friday night and got home after midnight. We both had to work on Saturday, but I was lucky enough to work Saturday night. So I got to sleep a little. Lily had to wake up Saturday morning, so she only got to take a little nap.

Neither of us like going to work right after we come back from another country. I like to have a full day off between the airport and work. But sometimes you want to stretch out your vacation as much as possible. We could have come home earlier, but that would have meant leaving Tokyo earlier. As it is, we were only there for 7 1/2 days. That's not nearly enough time for a city like Tokyo.

The weather was pretty nice while we were there. The last time we went to Tokyo was in August, so it was hot and humid, just like Hong Kong. This time, we got a little rain and much cooler temperatures. It was never cold, but it was cloudy enough most of the time. Anything not oppressively humid is good.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Thanksgiving in Tokyo

Lily and I are going to Tokyo tomorrow. We went back and forth about which neighborhood to stay in, but eventually decided on Shibuya. We stayed there last time, so we talked about going somewhere else, but we want this to be an easy trip. In any other neighborhood, we would have to look at hotels. In a city like Tokyo, that can take a while. The only hotels we know in Shinjuku are ridiculously expensive. For Shibuya, we already had a hotel in mind. They had rooms available, so we took it.

Had we planned this trip ahead of time, we probably would have picked a different neighborhood. Tokyo is the kind of city where it is best to stay in one area and then see another part of the city another time. You are never going to get to know it all in one trip. Since we stayed in Shibuya last time, it would make sense to stay in Minato or Chiyoda this time. But we did everything at the last minute, so Shibuya is easier. We can still spend as much time as we want somewhere else since our hotel is right next to the JR station, but I would bet that we will mostly be in Shibuya. I would rather walk around the neighborhood than spend all day on a subway train.

The original plan was to go for a long weekend. Since my birthday is on Sunday, we were always going to be there for my birthday. Then we shuffled some of our days off, got a few extra and decided to go a little later and stay a little longer. Now, we will be there for my birthday and Thanksgiving. Japan might not be the ideal Thanksgiving location, but neither is China. Eating a Japanese Thanksgiving dinner will be a nice change of pace from our usual Chinese Thanksgiving dinner.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Tokyo Birthday

Lily and I are going to take a little trip to Tokyo. We have not taken a vacation together since we went to Tokyo last year. Our last big trip was Paris, but that was not entirely a vacation. We just went to Taipei last month, but that was a weekend in a city an hour away.

We both managed to get a few days off at the same time and wanted to go somewhere close, but definitely outside of China. Tokyo is an inexpensive and easy trip, and Japan is not at all Chinese. It might seem strange to call Tokyo inexpensive since it is such an expensive city, but flights from Hong Kong are cheap and only take about four hours. We thought about Thailand and Korea, which are also pretty close, but went with Tokyo for a variety of reasons.

Neither of us has been to Korea. We would both like to go some day, but since we have never been there, we would have to look up too much information for a quick and easy trip. We know what we need to do for Tokyo, and already looked into a few different neighborhoods before we went the last time.

Thailand is pretty easy and cheaper than Tokyo, but we like the weather in Tokyo better. Thailand is always hot and humid. The only change of seasons are from wet to dry. The wet season just ended, so we would not have to worry about too much rain, but we both like actual seasons. If we want hot and humid, we can stay in Hong Kong. It will not snow in Tokyo while we are there, but at least it will be noticeably cooler. We will probably be in Hong Kong all winter, so this might be our only chance to go somewhere that gets cold.

This trip is not actually for my birthday. That part is only a coincidence. We will both be working a lot more during Christmas/New Year, so now is the time to go somewhere. After the New Year, which I think is in February next year, we will have more time to take a bigger trip.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

#J’en ai ma claque







Everyone stands with Paris. That's great, but maybe it is time to do something about the murderers who stand against us all. Lowering flags, lighting buildings, Twitter octothorpes and blog posts are all fine and dandy, but they do nothing to stop any of the terrorists who have declared war on humanity.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Dating in Hong Kong 4

Something I'm learning about the wide world of expat relationships is that there are entire books full of rules. You are supposed to do this, you are not allowed to do that. He should wait this amount of time to call, she should wait that amount of time to answer. Now there are even rules about Facebook and Twitter. The good news is that I don't do Facebook and I have not logged into my Twitter account in at least a year. I never liked Facebook and I never understood Twitter. Search it all you want. There is nothing embarrassing there. Mostly because there is nothing there.

In addition to not knowing the dating rules or, more accurately, not wanting to know the rules, I also don't seem to know anything about modern communication systems. My phone was made in 2009. That was not technically a long time ago, but in the world of cell phones, that was an eternity. My phone is not smart. It is not especially stupid. It can squeak by, but there is no way it's getting into a decent college.

I realize that I often sound older than I am. But that is only true online. In the real world, most people look at me and think I am younger. In the world of dating, those perceptions are both good and bad. Online, no one my age is interested. Since they think I'm older, they assume all of my interests will revolve around 401k accounts and the best places to nap. This never bothers me because men my age online only seem to talk about video games and the latest comic book movie. Offline, I attract surfer dudes and horny old goats, neither of which interest me.

Most people already know the rules, but everything is new to me. Back in high school, we did not play so many games. That seems backward, but I'm convinced it is true. Everything seemed more genuine then. Now, everyone is trying to play some game or another. I don't like games, unless there is a board and dice involved. People always ask what women want. Here's my answer: honesty. Honesty is the single most important quality as far as I'm concerned. A sense of humor is important, but that has to be one of the most subjective qualities. Everyone has a sense of humor. We all simply find different things funny. Looks are also subjective, and less important the older I get. I doubt I will be dating some guy I find physically repulsive, but they do not all need to look like Pierce Brosnan. Honesty is objective. Who you are and what you say is either honest or not. There is no matter of opinion.

Pretending to be someone else, even just a little, is always a bad idea. Sooner or later, whoever you are lying to is going to find out. It might not be the end of the world, but I bet it will be worse than if you were simply yourself the entire time. Be yourself, no matter what they say.

If your main goal in life is to have sex, there are a million ways to do that without being a liar. If you are lying to get some then you obviously don't care who you are doing, as long as you are doing it. There is no genuine need to lie if that is the case. Someone somewhere will want to have sex with the real you. If you have to lie to get laid, that only says horrible things about who you are. If sex is just a conquest to you, you are doing it wrong. And I bet that is the reason you feel so empty.

Maybe there are more rules than I thought.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Rainy Days and Birthdays Always Get Me Down

Not really, but that was the first title that popped into my head. I actually like the rain, and I'm not old enough to fear getting older. Yet.

Last month was Ryan's birthday. I know I'm not supposed to talk about him. Everyone I know has told me not to talk about him. And it's not like I mention him every day. In fact, I rarely mention him at all anymore. But this was the first birthday since high school that we did not at least talk to each other. It was not always possible to spend any time together on our birthdays, but if nothing else, at least we talked on the phone. This year, nothing.

This month is my birthday. I need to find something to do to keep my mind off it. I'm not always a big celebrator on my birthday. Sometimes I will go out to dinner. We had a surprise party last year, but I knew about it. Sometimes my birthday is on Thanksgiving, but not this year. I think that might be a few years away.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Dating in Hong Kong 3

The reason I started talking about dating in the first place is because I have decided that it might be time to start thinking about considering whether or not I want to entertain the idea of maybe contemplating the suggestion that I go out on an actual date.

Finding people outside of high school might be harder than in it, but it turns out it is actually pretty easy when you are newly single in a city of 3 million men. Even when you eliminate coworkers, married men, men who are too young or too old and creepy dudes online, there are a lot of men out there. Thinking back, I have been getting offers the entire time I have been in Hong Kong. I simply forgot about them because I had a boyfriend.

A friend of mine is currently trying to set me up with a friend of hers. I have never met this man, but my friend swears we would be perfect together. That is a huge red flag to me. Very few people have the same definition of perfection. It is also a horribly bad idea to go on a blind date with such unrealistic expectations. I would rather hear, “You might work out. Who knows.”

Monday, November 2, 2015

Halloween 2015

We had our big Halloween party on Sunday instead of Saturday because too many people had to work Saturday. Saturday night might be a better time for a Halloween party, especially since most people don't go to work on Sunday morning and Halloween was actually on Saturday, but it was because most people did not work on Sunday that we did it on Sunday.

We had a lot of people in costume this year. Sometimes as many as half the people show up in their regular clothes. Dressing up for Halloween is not exactly a Chinese tradition. Most of our guests did not grow up with it the way we did. But you can always count on the foreigners to go nuts.

You can also tell which movies are popular by what people wear for Halloween. When all those Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter movies came out, most of the costumes were pirates and wizards. This year, it was all comic book superheroes and Star Wars. The latest Star Wars movie has not come out yet, but all the nerds are a flutter. There were also a few zombies. There are always zombies.

Lily, Kevin and I were Colonel Sanders, Ronald McDonald and Wendy. Everyone got Kevin's Ronald costume right away. Put on a yellow and red jumpsuit and most people automatically think of that clown.

Lily's Colonel confused a few people, even though KFC is the single most popular fast food chain in China. Someone thought she was 1970s Steve Martin with a beard. I thought that was funny. A few people pointed out that she did not have a red apron, since that is their new logo. When I think of Colonel Sanders, a red apron never even crosses my mind.

Almost no one got my Wendy. Everyone thought I was Dorothy Gale. They do pretty much look the same. But if I'm standing next to Colonel Sanders and Ronald McDonald, instead of the Scarecrow and Tin Man, it should be obvious. Everyone at the party was old enough to remember when Wendy's was still in Hong Kong.

Maybe next year I should wear the same thing and Lily & Kevin can get a couple of Oz costumes.

Something I miss from real Halloween is all the children knocking on your door begging for candy. No one does that here. We had plenty of candy, but no children at this party. That's probably for the best since one Canadian dressed as Jared Fogle.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Dating in Hong Kong 2

Being a foreigner in a strange country only makes the concept of dating all the more interesting. Expat dating has to be one of the strangest forms of courtship invented by man. People move to other parts of the world but bring their old perceptions and stereotypes with them.

Men from my country seem to assume that women in China are going to be docile and obey their every deviant sexual request. Real Chinese women could not be any further from the American fantasy. Every Chinese woman I know has an opinion and is not the least bit shy about expressing it. If you are paying a prostitute to pretend to be your sex slave, that's one thing, but if you want a real sex slave, you might want to look outside of China.

American women dating Chinese men is just as difficult, mostly for the opposite reasons. American women, in the broadest general terms, want independent men. Chinese men, in my very limited experience, are not the most independent people in the world. There is probably a reason China has always been ruled by dictators. Conforming and fitting in are popular concepts in China. When people around here buy the latest cell phone, winter coat or suitcase, it is the exact same model that everyone else is buying this week.

Then there is marriage. I'm not anywhere close to even thinking about getting married some day, but I don't like the idea of dating someone who can't marry me eventually if that is the hole we both happen to fall down. It's like eating a great meal when you have the stomach flu and you know everything is going to come back up pretty soon.

In Chinese society, if a Chinese woman marries a white man, her parents might be heartbroken, but her friends think she hit the jackpot. If a Chinese man marries a white woman, his family will disown him. I'm not designed to be something someone brags to his friends about but can't take home to his mother. In my experience, the mothers usually like me more than the friends.

Fortunately, Hong Kong is an international city. There are people here from pretty much all over the world. We have men in all shapes, sizes, colors, makes and models. This city is a diversity smorgasbord. But I never liked all you can eat buffets.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Adventures in Publishing part 4

Shooting For Paris part II is now available for pre-orders at Amazon. Once again, the e-book is at a low price during the pre-orders, but will go up after the full release. The paperback will always be expensive.

I think the release date is December 2nd, but I could be wrong about that. It's sometime in early December. Just in time for Christmas. Nothing says Christmas like April in Paris.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Taipei Pictures Again

Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall


Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall


Xinyi from Taipei 101


Confucius Temple


228 Peace Memorial Park


228 Peace Memorial Park


228 Peace Memorial Park


National Concert Hall


Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall
Chiang Kai Shek might have been a brutal dictator,
but this is a pretty impressive building.


Memorial Hall Square

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Taipei Again

The first time I went to Taipei, I stayed in the Xinyi District. There was never enough time to go anywhere else, so I stayed put. That is actually a good way to see a new city, especially if you plan on going back a few times. Big cities are hard to see all at once. When people go to Tokyo for the first time, they try to hit the Imperial Palace, Roppongi, Ginza, Meiji Jingu, SkyTree and a million other sights, but they are all in different wards. The SkyTree and Meiji Shrine are nowhere near each other.

By concentrating on Xinyi, I got to know that area relatively well. I learned nothing about the rest of the city, but I would have learned nothing about any of it if I tried to see all of it in a single weekend.

For this trip, we stayed in Zhongzheng, which has more than enough to see and do for the weekend. But we did stray out of the area a little bit. Taipei, like most large East Asian cities, has an efficient mass transportation system. I never got to use it last time. I went in a group and we got a ride to and from the airport. This time, I went with Lily. We were on our own, so we had little choice but to use the MRT.

There are several options to get into Taipei from the airport. Like Tokyo, Bangkok and Fuzhou, the airport is far away from the city. Unlike Hong Kong and Tokyo, there is nothing like the MTR Airport Express. The one hour bus from the airport to Taipei Main Station seemed to be the most popular option, but we took the shuttle from the airport to the Taoyuan high speed train station since the high speed train went to Taipei Main Station in 20 minutes. The bus is probably more popular because it is about half the price of the train.

We stayed at the Caesar Park Hotel, which is a typical business hotel across the street from Taipei Main Station. I liked the Home Hotel in Xinyi better because it was a smaller boutique hotel. You tend to get better service at boutique hotels. There was nothing wrong with the Caesar Park, other than the bathroom. The location could not have been better.

The hotel is three blocks north of the 228 Peace Park and National Taiwan Museum, which is a block west of the Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall, National Concert Hall and National Theater, which are northeast of the National Museum of History and Botanical Garden. Immediately south of the hotel is a shopping neighborhood with more than enough food. Unlike Xinyi, it is not flooded with western food, but we did see a McDonald's and Starbucks. Just like Xinyi, there is a 7-11 on practically every corner.

Since the main MRT station was across the street from our hotel, we took the train a few stops north to the main Confucius temple, creatively called Taipei Confucius Temple. That was not simply the English name. It is actually called that in Chinese. 臺北孔子廟. We also headed east to Taipei 101. I had already been there, but Lily had not.

Taipei's MRT is pretty much like Hong Kong's MTR. Except we had to pay with cash. They have a card similar to the Octopus, but we did not buy any since we don't know when we will ever go back. I have heard that it can be used at 7-11 and other places, just like the Octopus card, so I should probably get one next time. If it is half as convenient as Hong Kong's octopus, there is no reason not to get one. Taipei's MRT has a number of different lines that seem to go everywhere in the city. The trains are not as clean as Hong Kong, but they were a lot less crowded.

On the way back home, we took a taxi from the hotel to the airport. That is probably the most expensive way to go, but we were in a hurry. Taking the high speed train to the shuttle to the airport is a good hour plus however long you have to wait around for the train and shuttle. The taxi ride was also an hour, but there was no waiting time. Overall, we saved almost 10 minutes for three times the price. Maybe that is why the bus is so popular.

Taipei taxis are also pretty much like Hong Kong taxis. They are dirt cheap and dirty compared to Tokyo. Unlike Mainland China, catching a taxi was always easy. It probably helped that we were at a large hotel across the street from the main train station. Unlike Hong Kong, our Taipei driver understood my Chinese perfectly. Nobody was expecting that. He could understand me without the usual “eh” and I caught about half of what he said. That's pretty good when it comes to taxis. He spoke with a heavy accent, but I'm sure my accent sounded crazy to him.

It is nice to know I can communicate with taxi drivers in Taipei, but next time I'm sticking with the trains or buses.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

No Rain

Before we went to Taipei last weekend, there was talk of a typhoon hitting the Philippines. That was nothing unusual. The Philippines gets hit by typhoons more often than politicians take a vacation. If not for the Philippines, most of those typhoons would hit Hong Kong. So those of us who live here should be grateful it is there.

When we landed in Taipei, the typhoon went from a category 1, which is the smallest, to a category 4, which is pretty high. It turned out to be bigger than the experts expected, but it kept its course and hit the Philippines. There was no evidence that a typhoon was anywhere nearby when we were in Taipei, other than a little wind.

After we went back home, the typhoon swerved north and headed for Taiwan. It should be rainy for the next few days, but most of the storm has died down.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Taipei 2.0

I'm going back to Taipei this weekend. This time, it has nothing to do with work. Lily & I are just going for fun. I saw so little of the city last time, I want to see what else is out there. It is so easy to get to, why not.

After I booked the hotel and plane tickets, a typhoon started heading toward the Philippines. It is not expected to hit Hong Kong or Taiwan, but you never know. These storms have a way of changing course. Even if it goes where it is supposed to go, they are still expecting heavy rain in Taiwan. Since the storm is south of Taiwan, maybe Taipei will be ok. I doubt it will be strong enough to cancel our flight, but I'm expecting it to rain the entire time we are there.

We could just skip it and stay home, but then all that money is down the drain. It is too late to get a refund.

Last time, I stayed in Xinyi, which is a city government/shopping district. This time, we are staying Zhongzheng, which is a national government/shopping district. None of the government buildings mean anything to me. We picked this hotel because it is near some of the sights we want to see and close to the main MTR station. I pretty much stayed near the hotel last time. This time, we are planning on going around town. Being close to the metro should be convenient. Hopefully.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Dating in Hong Kong

I broke up with my last boyfriend in May. That sounds pretty straightforward. In a way, I suppose it is. We were together in April and apart in May. But it is worth something that we were together for a very long time. It means something to me, at least.

As soon as you are single, people start asking when you are going to get back on the horse. In May, I did not want to be anywhere near any horses. I did not even want to walk past the stable. I could picture myself adopting a few cats and trying on wool sweaters. I still don't see anything wrong with that.

But sooner or later, you are bound to jump back in that ocean. The waves might be too high and you have a pretty good idea of just how polluted the water is, but just like after eating a bad batch of Thai food, you are going to go back for more sooner or later. No matter how sick it made you the last time.

My problem is that I don't know how to date. I met my last boyfriend in high school. It was a lot easier in high school. We told ourselves it was the hardest thing in the world and that life was so difficult, but all of that drama was self-imposed. High school was easy. You saw your friends every day. You were surrounded by a relatively small group of people, usually people you had known for years. Finding someone to date was as easy as showing up.

The adult world works a little differently. The only group of people I see on a regular basis are at work, and I'm not about to date a coworker. A lower than average percentage of the men where I work are heterosexual. I would not want to date at work even if they were all interested and available. I like keeping my private life out of the workplace. Everyone already knows everyone else's business in high school, but there is no reason that has to be true at work.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Adventures in Publishing part 3

Time is running out to pre-order Shooting For Paris at Amazon. Once it officially comes out on October 10, the price will increase at least 300%.

At least until sales drop to nothing. Then it will probably go back down again. So if you want a bargain, it's either best to get it right away or wait a while.

And happy birthday, John.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

More Taipei Pictures

An enormous decorative chess set between City Hall and Taipei 101.


There were signs and directories all over the place.
It was pretty convenient, but getting lost in this neighborhood would have been difficult.
Wherever you go, you can see Taipei 101.


Taipei 101 mall


One of the empty shopping malls.
This guy was playing “Moon River” on a pan flute to absolutely no one.


Manhattan Sandwiches


Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall


Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall


The theater where we brought art and joy to the dozen people who showed up.


The entrance to the theater,
a convention center and an expensive hotel.
It might have been a Hilton or Hyatt.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Taipei 102

Home Hotel, Xinyi



The view from my hotel room.


This was a Saturday afternoon, but this mall was practically empty.
Krispy Kreme is on the bottom floor on the right.
The giant construction crane in the background was outside my hotel window.


Krispy Kreme


Vieshow, an enormous movie theater complex that took up several buildings.
I don't know how big the entire thing was, but there were at least 18 different theaters.


The road between one shopping mall and another.
Taken from the pedestrian bridge that connects at least four different malls.


Some of the construction across the street from the hotel.


The base of Taipei 101.
There is no photoshop here.
It really is that green.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Mooncake Day

Yesterday was 中秋節, the Mid-Autumn Festival. More commonly referred to as Mooncake Day by me. It is a festival with ancient roots in farming and agriculture. Despite the fact that most people in Mainland China, and almost no one in Hong Kong, is a farmer, it is still a popular holiday.

Since it was on a Sunday this year, Monday was a public holiday. It is an important enough festival for the post office to close.

The main activities on Mooncake Day seem to be eating, partying and lighting red lanterns. I don't pretend to understand the cultural significance of all these red lantern holidays, but they are nice to look at as they float away into the clouds.

My favorite part of Mooncake Day is that everyone and their mother gives everybody else mooncakes. Mooncakes, when made properly, are one of China's great contributions to world cuisine. Unfortunately, they are only available during the festival. Why can't they make them all year? I don't know. Why can't people eat Thanksgiving dinner at other times of the year? Pumpkin pie, cranberries and lefse are just as good in May. We humans like to follow our arbitrary rules.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Taipei 101

A group of us went to the top of Taipei 101 on Saturday. We did not have all day, but we had some time and it was right next to us.

It was a little more expensive than it should have been. NT600 per person, which is about HK$150 or US$25, but there were surprisingly few people in line and the elevator reached the 89th floor quickly. It was supposed to be the fastest elevator in the world, but I never bothered to time it.

The indoor observation deck on the 89th floor has views of Taipei from every direction. Despite how green the windows look from the outside, everything looked blue from the inside.

You can take stairs to the outdoor observation deck on the 91st floor. The building has 101 floors, but everything above 91 is off limits to the general public. Unfortunately, there was a super typhoon in August that caused some damage. Most of the outdoor deck was closed. Maybe this is why there were so few people there. But no one warned us before we bought our tickets.

I like outdoor observation decks a lot more than indoor. For one thing, you can see real colors rather than window colors. For another, you can take pictures without any reflections or finger smudges. It also feels a lot more natural. Some of Taipei 101's outdoor deck was open, but only facing one direction. I don't know the city well enough to know what I missed, but I know I missed most of it.



Taipei 101


The shopping/government area near the hotel, facing north.
The building with the helicopter pad is City Hall.


The view from the indoor observation deck, facing southwest.


The closed off outdoor observation deck.


Corrected for window reflection. Facing southeast.


In attempting to show the people in the window's reflection,
I made everything green. Somehow.
Facing southeast.


Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Taipei

Now that I have flown from Hong Kong to East China, South China, and Taiwan, I can safely claim that going from China to Taiwan is easier than going from China to China. With an American passport, I can go to Taiwan for 90 days, no questions asked. I need a visa just to cross into Shenzhen.

It gets easier as soon as you get off the plane. In Mainland China, there are emotionless people in uniforms all over the place. I have never had a problem getting through passport control, but I have had more than a few people look at me as if I was coming into the country to kill their dog.

The mood in Taiwan is much lighter. The people who stamp your passport still seem like they hate their jobs, but at least they are looking forward to going out and getting drunk after their shift. I don't know any of these people personally, but I always get the impression that their Mainland counterparts have fewer options.

What I can't report is how different Taiwan is from Mainland China. I know there are political issues and you have to be careful when you use the words Taiwan and China together, but I can't tell anyone anything about life in Taiwan. I stayed in one neighborhood in one city for one weekend.

Coming from Hong Kong, I know that not all of China is the same. I have been to several Mainland cities often enough to see that Hong Kong is practically a separate country. Taiwan may or may not be a separate country. I'm not qualified to get into that. However you want to define Taiwan politically, it is definitely Chinese culturally. But from what little I saw, it is nothing like the Mainland or Hong Kong. Or even Macau.

Taipei is a large city, and I agree with Mark Twain or whoever said that you have to get out of the cities and go into the countryside to see what the people are really like. Hong Kong is a great example of not being a great example of typical Chinese behavior. Taipei might not be a representative example of the real Taiwan, as far as I know.

Fully aware of all that, I liked the neighborhood where we stayed. We were at the Home Hotel in the Xinyi District. This was a nice little boutique hotel that had some of the best customer service I have ever seen at any Chinese hotel. Someone in our group said that this hotel caters to foreigners and that was supposed to explain the attentive service, but I have been to hotels throughout China that cater to foreigners. Chinese customer service has a different definition from American customer service.

Xinyi is mostly government offices and shopping. Our hotel was close to the City Hall, Convention Center, several shopping malls and Taipei 101, one of Taiwan's top tourist attractions. There are several high end hotels for visiting dignitaries and rock stars. The entire area seems to have foreigners in mind. I would be surprised if the rest of the country looks anything like it.

The hotel's selling point is that most of the rooms have great views of Taipei 101. Taipei 101 is in the middle of the Xinyi District and the hotel is one block away. Unfortunately, there is a massive construction project on the block between Taipei 101 and the hotel. It is still in the early stages, but it looks like once it is finished, it will completely block the view of Taipei 101 from the hotel.

Far more important to me, the hotel was 100 steps from a Krispy Kreme. I did not actually count, but it was very close. There is also a California Pizza Kitchen across the street, but I never went there. I don't care for California pizza. With no less than five shopping malls within an easy walk from the hotel, there were plenty of food options. Most of it was Chinese, of course, but whenever I travel, I want to eat something I can't get at home. Obviously, Krispy Kreme was a top priority.

I saw a Burger King, Subway, 2 McDonald's and at least 4 Starbucks, but I never saw a KFC. I thought that was odd. KFC is more popular than McDonald's in China. Then again, they were all probably around corners I never turned.

There was a decent little pizza place near the Krispy Kreme and a small restaurant that served nothing but potatoes and beer. I never tried their beer, but the French fries were average. The shopping mall at Taipei 101 was more upscale, so I spent less time there, but they had a Jason's Market, which is the same as the Market Place at Telford. Shopping was never on my agenda anyway. The city where I live is a giant shopping mall.

I spent most of my time at the theater, which was only a few blocks from the hotel. Aside from a few rehearsals and our actual performances, it was a nice place to walk around. The theater was near yet another shopping mall, only this one always seemed to be empty. Everything was open. There were simply far fewer customers than at all the other malls. This was during the weekend, so it was noticeable.

There were a few tiny green spaces, but Xinyi is clearly a business/shopping neighborhood. People went there to work and shop. Serenity and reflection did not seem like high priorities. The tiny park next to our hotel was under construction and completely closed.

I learned pretty much nothing about Taipei and even less about Taiwan, but this trip convinced me that I need to go back some day. It is so easy to get to and I have the feeling there is more to see in Taiwan than shopping and office buildings.

Monday, September 14, 2015

All the World's a Stage

Three weeks ago, I had my Macau theater debut. Our tiny production of As You Like It played for a full weekend to a sold out house and nothing but rave reviews. I have decided. I never actually read any reviews of the show. I don't know if anyone anywhere ever reviewed it.

Last weekend, we took it on the road. Technically, Macau was on the road since most of us live in Hong Kong. This time, we went where absolutely none of us live.

Long before the theater was booked in Macau, they were talking about going to Taipei. I liked that idea since I had never been to Taipei, as opposed to Macau. For whatever reason, Taipei never happened and we went to Macau instead. Until last weekend.

Since this was my first trip to Taipei, I found it all far more interesting than going to Macau. Macau is a lot easier to get to, but Taipei is still pretty close. Instead of a one hour ferry ride, we all packed into a plane for 90 minutes. With airport bureaucracy, it took even longer, but the flight was so short, I'm surprised I never went there earlier. Then again, I have never been to the Philippines and that is only two hours away.

The theater in Taipei was smaller than the one in Macau. That was probably for the best since most of our friends and family already saw the show in Macau. I don't know how many people went to Taipei because of us. No one I personally know went to any of the Taipei shows. Despite being an actual paying audience, they seemed to like it. I never saw any tomatoes.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Adventures in Publishing part 2

Shooting For Paris is now available for pre-orders at Amazon. It will not actually be available anywhere until October. As far as I know, only e-books can be pre-ordered. For physical books, you have to wait until they come out. At least at Amazon. I know that Barnes & Noble does pre-orders for physical books, but none of mine are ever available before the official release date.

If you want to get the e-book version from Amazon, I would suggest doing the pre-order. Not just because it is my book. Pre-order prices are almost always lower for anything. Once it is out, they are almost guaranteed to raise the price. That is standard procedure.

I have never personally pre-ordered anything from Amazon, but I assume it is just like buying anything else. Except that you get it later. I'm sure they would not purposely try to make it more difficult.

Shooting For Paris pre-order. More links to come in the near future.

911

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Adventures in Publishing

I wrote another book. It is about the trip to Paris. I don't think that surprised anyone. I wrote a short book about a short week in Bali. I almost had to write about a full month in Paris.

The Bali book is short for a few reasons, not just because I was only there for a week. The Paris book turned out longer than I expected, not just because a month is longer than a week.

People always tell you that size does not matter. Sometimes that is true. Bruce Lee was a little guy, but he could wipe the floor with any of today's steroid action stars. But sometimes size is the most important thing in the world.

When you publish a book, the first thing they ask you about is word count. Not the story, character development, setting, whether it's funny, sad, inspirational or full of magical realms. Word count determines everything. The price of a printed book is obviously going to be higher the longer it is. More pages cost more money to print. But that does not mean publishers want the longest books possible. Charging more money means making more money per sale, but it also means fewer sales. Printed books are expensive and e-books are becoming more and more popular. They want whatever sells the most, not what sells at the highest price.

My book about the Paris trip came in at just over 350,000 words. That translates to about 1,100 pages, depending on format. The experts said it was entirely too long. Maybe it was. I don't know. I'm not a marketing expert. Maybe people really do only want to read 300 page books.

So I took my scissors and trimmed a little off the top and evened out the sides. But it was still too long. So I took an axe and went at it like Jack Nicholson trying to get into a bathroom. I got it down to just under 1,000 pages. Excising is definitely not my specialty.

I had two choices. I could keep cutting away until it was a reasonable length. That would probably take a very long time and cause me more than a little pain. Or I could divide it in half and release it as two volumes. That just sounded like a bad idea to me. I actually laughed when it was first suggested.

I suppose there was a third option. I could shop around for a publisher willing to print over 1,000 pages from a completely unknown author who does not write about teenage zombies. Here is my sales pitch:

“It's three times longer than the public wants, which will obviously make it more expensive. There are no action scenes, explosions, mysteries to solve or storming of castles. There are no vampires, zombies or children with magical powers. There is no setup for a sequel or long $eries of books. There is no sex, nothing overtly political and no one gets murdered. It is about 90% dialogue.”

Given my choices, I went with cutting it in half. I don't like that since it is now one story in two books, but at least it will exist. I consider that a major positive. Writing something that only a few people read is one thing. I'm amazed that anyone even wants to read anything I have written. I think it is great if only one complete stranger tells me they read something of mine and liked it. I don't want to be Stephenie Meyer or whoever did all those 50 Gray books. I congratulate them on getting what they want, but I don't want what they have. Even worse is writing something that no one can read because it is only on your computer.

Since it is in two volumes, we can assume that only people who read the first volume will ever read the second. That's a shame because, in many ways, the second half is better than the first. But the first can be read alone and it all makes perfect sense. There is a beginning, middle and end, and that could be the end of it if you never look at the second half. If you only read the second half, you might wonder why people say and do the things they do. It would be like getting into a TV series in the middle of the season. It could still be a great show, but you might wonder why Barney keeps saying “wait for it”.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

I Go Swimming




When Lily & I were in France, we spent a few days at a very nice house on Cap d'Antibes. I might have mentioned that once or twice. This house had everything you want in a giant house on the French Riviera. There were plenty of bedrooms and bathrooms, two kitchens, three dining rooms, a library/game room, a home theater/music room, several gardens, a greenhouse, an infinity pool overlooking the Mediterranean, a pool house, a few garages and all kinds of utility and service rooms. The funny thing is, only one person lived in the house. There were always guests coming and going, and people to keep the house in shape, but the house owner technically lived alone.

I thought it was a great place to spend some time away from the hustle and bustle of the big city, and Antibes is not a bad neighborhood to hang out, but I would never want to live in a house like that. It was simply too big. Even with a large family, it would be too big. There was enough room for several families.

When we went to Château de Versailles, I could understand why Marie Antoinette had the Queen's Hamlet and Petit Trianon. The main house was just too big to be comfortable. The house on Cap d'Antibes was nowhere near the size of Versailles, but they were both excessive in my opinion. I have a balcony in my apartment on which I rarely spend any time. I can't imagine having enough free time to really enjoy the large gardens at a mansion.

My favorite part of that house on Cap d'Antibes was easily the swimming pool. It was rarely empty, mostly because it was an infinity pool overlooking the Mediterranean. But for one brief shining moment, I was alone in the swimming pool. It was an incredibly cathartic experience. In the pool, I could ignore whatever was going on in the house around me. Under the water, I could ignore the rest of the world. I floated in that womb without schedules, bills, obligations or boyfriends.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Leave Your Body At the Door

Yu Lan Jie is not a public holiday in Hong Kong. I don't think it is anywhere in China. But it is a day of eating and drinking, so we had a party at the big house. If you are staying in someone else's house during a holiday, you have to throw a party. Especially if that house has an outdoor terrace that faces the ocean. That's just a basic rule.

Ghost Day was actually Friday, but our party was on Saturday. That has nothing to do with the ghosts. It was simply a more convenient day to throw a party. Unfortunately, I had to work Saturday night. Fortunately, the party was still going when I got home.

Our original plan was to have a Halloween party. Everyone could come in costumes and we could play up the ghost angle. As it turns out, that's considered kind of disrespectful. These ghosts are not to be trifled with or mocked. It is also a lot harder to get people to dress up when there are not costume ideas splashed all over the place like there will be next month. Halloween is pretty popular in Hong Kong, but not so much during other months.

My idea was to have a pool party. After all, we had the use of a swimming pool and any party was always going to be on the outdoor terrace right next to it. But it is surprisingly hard to get people to go swimming at night around here. I don't really know why. It might be because of the ghosts, but I doubt it. It is definitely not the weather. Winter is nowhere close to being here and none of the typhoons hit Hong Kong. Saturday turned out to be a nice night for a swim.

After most of the guests left, I had my own pool party. That actually worked out better anyway. I probably would have felt self-conscious if I was the only person in the pool with everyone else on the terrace. Being in a bathing suit surrounded by other people in bathing suits is one thing. But even if we had a pool party, most of our Chinese guests would not have dressed accordingly. Being the only one not fully clothed would make it impossible to enjoy all that beautiful water. In China, even if you have a party on the beach, everyone is fully dressed.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Hungry, Hungry Ghosts

Friday was Yu Lan Jie, the Hungry Ghost Festival. Ghost day is in the middle of Ghost Month and it is when you are supposed to go to your local temple and offer food to the ghosts to keep them happy.

It's a lot less ridiculous than I'm making it sound. It is actually kind of sweet. If you are a believer, you are supposed to believe that the ghosts are suffering. Giving them food and burning money relieves their ghost pain. It is an ancient festival that shows respect for the departed. It is not nearly as commercial and contrived as Qixi or White Day.

As with most Chinese festivals, there is a lot of eating, setting things on fire and lighting paper lanterns. Some places set off firecrackers to keep the ghosts at bay, but Hong Kong has a few laws about fireworks. I'm all for the eating, and lanterns, but I can never get into all the things on fire. Burning paper is often a bad idea in such a crowded place. If you want to see fireworks, go to Victoria Harbour any night.

There is a long list of things you are not supposed to do during Ghost Month. Most of them are about keeping the ghosts happy. Some of them are basic superstitions, like not wearing red or doing unlucky things. Some of them are kind of absurd. You are not supposed to swim because ghosts who were drowned might try to drown you. But then why is driving allowed? Don't ghosts who died in car accidents want to make you crash? The rules were invented before cars, but surely more than a few ghosts have been killed in traffic collisions. Especially in China.

I always break more than a few rules during Ghost Month. You are not supposed to sing at night because that might attract unwanted ghosts. I work more at night than I do in the daytime. Singing is pretty much required at my job. Since we have been staying at the big house, I have been in that swimming pool every day. I don't care what the ghosts say, if I have a clean swimming pool at my disposal, I'm going swimming. If you drown me and I become a ghost, I will make it my mission to go to every temple and put out every fire. Then none of you ghosts will ever get your burned money and you will be poor forever. Don't mess with me. I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Clear Water Bay

Kevin's boss is on his annual vacation out of town. That means we have the Clear Water Bay house for the duration.

When I first came to Hong Kong, staying at the big house was like taking a vacation at a 5 star resort. I lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment with no amenities and a view of the apartment across the alley. When Lily & Kevin moved into my tiny one bedroom apartment, that four bedroom, four bathroom house on the bay was a giant oasis away from our daily lives. It has a real kitchen with a real oven – something exceptionally rare in Hong Kong – great views of the ocean and islands, and a relaxing swimming pool and hot tub.

A little over a year ago, we moved to a nice three bedroom apartment with a swimming pool, gym and decent views of the west harbour. But we still go to the big house when Kevin's boss is away. Our apartment swimming pool can be used by any of the 1,000 people who live in the complex. The swimming pool at the big house is private and on a very nice terrace overlooking the South China Sea. Plus, it has a hot tub.

Back when I was in my tiny one bedroom apartment, my favorite thing about the big house was the kitchen. Now that I have a kitchen of my own, I spend more time in the pool. When you can cook at home, it's no big deal to be able to cook somewhere else. A private swimming pool is always a big deal.

Lily & I were in France a few months ago. There was no swimming pool at that apartment, but we spent a few days at some old Scottish guy's house in Antibes. He had a great pool and I went swimming a few times, but it was not entirely private. It was not a public pool with hundreds of people, but we were never alone in that house, and the house owner was a randy old goat. Getting some swimming time without him hanging around was difficult.

At the big house, it is just Lily, Kevin and me. That is about as private as it's going to get. I can pretty much guarantee that I will be doing a lot of swimming in the next few days.

This is our first summer at the big house without Ryan. Technically, he was in Fuzhou when we all stayed at the big house last year, but he came to Hong Kong for a few days, so this will be the first year without him at all. I don't want to keep pointing out that everything I'm doing is the first time without him, but that is probably going to happen for a while. We were a couple for a third of my life. Everything is going to be new now.