Thursday, November 12, 2015

Dating in Hong Kong 4

Something I'm learning about the wide world of expat relationships is that there are entire books full of rules. You are supposed to do this, you are not allowed to do that. He should wait this amount of time to call, she should wait that amount of time to answer. Now there are even rules about Facebook and Twitter. The good news is that I don't do Facebook and I have not logged into my Twitter account in at least a year. I never liked Facebook and I never understood Twitter. Search it all you want. There is nothing embarrassing there. Mostly because there is nothing there.

In addition to not knowing the dating rules or, more accurately, not wanting to know the rules, I also don't seem to know anything about modern communication systems. My phone was made in 2009. That was not technically a long time ago, but in the world of cell phones, that was an eternity. My phone is not smart. It is not especially stupid. It can squeak by, but there is no way it's getting into a decent college.

I realize that I often sound older than I am. But that is only true online. In the real world, most people look at me and think I am younger. In the world of dating, those perceptions are both good and bad. Online, no one my age is interested. Since they think I'm older, they assume all of my interests will revolve around 401k accounts and the best places to nap. This never bothers me because men my age online only seem to talk about video games and the latest comic book movie. Offline, I attract surfer dudes and horny old goats, neither of which interest me.

Most people already know the rules, but everything is new to me. Back in high school, we did not play so many games. That seems backward, but I'm convinced it is true. Everything seemed more genuine then. Now, everyone is trying to play some game or another. I don't like games, unless there is a board and dice involved. People always ask what women want. Here's my answer: honesty. Honesty is the single most important quality as far as I'm concerned. A sense of humor is important, but that has to be one of the most subjective qualities. Everyone has a sense of humor. We all simply find different things funny. Looks are also subjective, and less important the older I get. I doubt I will be dating some guy I find physically repulsive, but they do not all need to look like Pierce Brosnan. Honesty is objective. Who you are and what you say is either honest or not. There is no matter of opinion.

Pretending to be someone else, even just a little, is always a bad idea. Sooner or later, whoever you are lying to is going to find out. It might not be the end of the world, but I bet it will be worse than if you were simply yourself the entire time. Be yourself, no matter what they say.

If your main goal in life is to have sex, there are a million ways to do that without being a liar. If you are lying to get some then you obviously don't care who you are doing, as long as you are doing it. There is no genuine need to lie if that is the case. Someone somewhere will want to have sex with the real you. If you have to lie to get laid, that only says horrible things about who you are. If sex is just a conquest to you, you are doing it wrong. And I bet that is the reason you feel so empty.

Maybe there are more rules than I thought.

2 comments:

  1. Starting dating again after a long term relationship is really tough, let alone getting intimate with someone new. Hope everyone works out for you, Hong Kong is an amazing place, I'm sure you'll find someone special there.

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  2. Thanks. I'm not really all that worried about it. I kind of like the idea of being single for a while.

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