Winter in Winnipeg part 3

Yesterday was the burial. Lily's family is not especially religious, so there was no traditional funeral. The memorial service was at the funeral home after the burial. It was nice, as far as that sort of thing goes. Lily's father is genuinely missed. I think that is the most you can ask for after you have gone. If people mourn you, you did something right. Funerals are always sad, but if no one shows up, that must be heartbreaking to the surviving spouse. It felt like the whole town showed up for this guy. I never met him, but from what everyone said about him, he sounds like someone I would have liked.

The weather has been getting colder since I arrived, but there was never any snow until later last night, and barely any of it. It was dark and gloomy during the burial, but that was appropriate. It is snowing now, but it was pretty mild yesterday.

After the memorial service, some of us went to Lily's parents' house. I had never been, so I was curious to see where Lily grew up. Her childhood neighborhood could have been mine. It was the same suburban middle class block a world away but pretty close to the hustle and bustle of downtown. Their houses are smaller and much closer together. We had more trees everywhere. Their houses are right on top of each other, so there is less room for trees. But the streets look exactly the same. Our street signs were small and green while theirs are large and white – and in French and English – but if you saw a picture of my street and a picture of hers, you would never know they were different countries.

When people talk about nature versus nurture, I generally take the nurture side. How you are raised has a greater affect on who you become than where you were raised, within reasonable limits. Obviously, someone born in Scarsdale is going to live a different life from someone born in Mumbai. But Lily and I grew up in practically the same neighborhood, though with different nationalities. Minnesota and Manitoba have a lot in common, as far as climate, geography, culture and food. We met in Hong Kong, but we grew up 400 miles apart. To put it another way, there are only 15,000 lakes between her childhood home and mine. By Minnesota/Manitoba standards, that is practically right next door. It should be no wonder we get along so well.

But the nurture side of our childhoods were world's apart. Her parents did nothing to remind me of my parents, and her home life was nothing like mine.

Regardless of whatever happened in the past, Lily is spending the night in my hotel in the present. She has been at her parents' house for a month and needs a break. She stayed with her mother after the funeral, but now she needs to do whatever she wants to do. My job is to be with her wherever she needs to be. Plus, the hotel has an indoor heated swimming pool. That is never a bad thing.

Winter in Winnipeg part 2

I went with Lily to the funeral home yesterday. They had to deal with all of the last minute issues for the burial and memorial service. Her family already picked a casket, decided on when and where to have the memorial service, open casket or closed. It is amazing how many decisions you have to make when someone dies. Fortunately, her father already had a place to be buried. I was not around to add my two cents to anything. I was purely there to be on Lily's side, no matter what.

The burial is later this afternoon. After the burial, they are having a memorial service. Lily wants me to go to both, so I am going. She is much closer to her family than I am to mine, but she was closest with her father. She has old friends in Winnipeg, but they all gradually faded out of touch the way people do when you move to the other side of the world. I can understand that completely. I used to have friends in Minnesota who would take a bullet for me. Now, we sometimes forget to send e-mail on birthdays. Lily and I are basically sisters. Not going with her was never an option.

I also got a chance to look around the hotel. Airports are not generally in the most exciting neighborhoods, but there is a Tim Hortons around the corner. Tim Hortons is no Krispy Kreme, but they are better than anything we have in Hong Kong. There are several strip malls nearby and at least one indoor shopping mall, but I am not here to go shopping. That is something we have more than enough of in Hong Kong.

It is just after 3 o'clock in the morning right now. I woke up an hour ago. I am still adjusting to the time difference. It is almost dinner time in Hong Kong, so my body wants to be awake. As soon as I shift to Winnipeg time, it will probably be time to go home.

Winter in Winnipeg

I am in Winnipeg. The temperature is about -6°C/21°F right now. It is definitely still winter here. I like it. It reminds me of winter in Minnesota. People complain about the cold and snow, but when you have been away from it for a few years, it can be something nice to get back into. When you live in Hong Kong, anything below 20°C is a nice change of pace.

I am staying at the Holiday Inn near the airport. I usually avoid airport hotels, but my flight landed after midnight and the flight out leaves at 6:30 in the morning. This hotel has a quick and free airport shuttle, which is convenient for a lot of reasons. After a 15 hour flight to Toronto, dinner at the airport, a delayed connecting flight and another 3 hours to Winnipeg, trying to find the hotel was not on the agenda. If I stayed at a hotel in a more interesting neighborhood, I would have to rely on Lily to pick me up and drop me off. She would do it without complaint, but I think she has enough on her plate right now without worrying about me.

Thanks to all those time zones, the 15 hour flight only took 2 hours. But it sure felt like 15 hours. Thanks to the International Date Line, the 13 hour flight home will take 29 hours. Fortunately, it will only feel like 13 hours.

The Holiday Inn is actually a pretty nice hotel. The rooms are basic business hotel, but there is a small swimming pool and hot tub – indoors, of course – and a decent little fitness center. I doubt I will be doing much exercise outdoors, what with all that -6°C/21°F, so the gym might come in handy. I have yet to try the free hotel breakfast, but I'm not expecting much. It is an airport hotel, after all.

I don't know what they have around this neighborhood. I have not been out since I came in from the airport last night. I saw pretty much nothing in the pitch black of midnight in winter.

Lily's Dad part 6

Lily's father died today. I wish I could say it came as a surprise, but he was headed downhill for a while. Lily is devastated. He meant the world to her and now she has to deal with all of that. It can't be easy. She is an adult who lives away from home, but she is still too young to lose a parent.

I'm going to Winnipeg for the funeral. I never met him, but I am going to be with Lily. I will probably not lose my job over it because I will only be there for a few days. Had I gone earlier to spend time with her, who knows when I would have come back. This time, they know when I'm scheduled to work again.

Kevin is not going to the funeral. He met and knew Lily's father, so it would be better if he went instead of me, but he would absolutely lose his job if he disappeared right now. Instead, he will go visit Lily after I come back. That way, someone will be with her for a longer period of time than if we both went together.

I have no idea when Lily is coming back. She will probably stay a while to deal with all the family things you have to deal with when your father dies. I don't know how long that takes. I would love to bring her back with me, but that's not going to happen. I would also love for her to still have a job when she comes back, but that is pretty unlikely at this point.

Lantern Festival 2016

Tomorrow is the Lantern Festival. That is the last day of the New Year. It is not a public holiday, but it is definitely a party day.

The main Lantern Festival activity is lighting paper lanterns and letting them float away into the sky. It can really be something to watch. If you look in the right place at the right time, you can see thousands of lanterns floating off to wherever they go. They are supposed to go out to the ocean and become Neptune's problem when they land, but sometimes they land someplace that people have to clean.

I have no special plans this year. I have participated in lighting lanterns in the past, but the Lantern Festival is a pretty minor holiday. Nobody really takes it too seriously around here. But they are nice to watch.

The Fault in Our Stars

After 13 shows, my triumphant performance as Clara Eynsford-Hill is no more.

It is not that I was fired. The production was shut down. I have heard a few different reasons why, but I think the main culprit is lack of interest. Hong Kong might not be ready for turn of the century British gentility. Or maybe they are sick and tired of British people telling them how to behave. Or maybe people were expecting the musical.

Someone pointed out that 13 is an unlucky number. But not in China. It is not a particularly lucky number, but 4 is the unluckiest number in China because it sounds like the word “death”, and 8 is the luckiest because it sounds like “wealth”. Nothing really sounds like 13, so no one cares about 13 around here.

Whatever the reason, I can stop wearing Edwardian costumes now. That is never bad news.

Valentine's Day 2016

I can't remember the last time I did not have a date on Valentine's Day. I was in high school. I was not worried that I did not have a boyfriend because I knew I was young enough that society was not going to look down on me for being single. At 15, no one freaks out if you are not paired off. Parents are especially ok with it. At 25, everyone wonders what's wrong. At 35, people assume you must be a freak.

Valentine's Day is a fake holiday. Everyone knows it, but most of us play along anyway. We buy the candy and give people cards and gifts. I have been giving out Valentine's Day cards since I was in kindergarten. Hallmark made a lot of money off me.

China has two Valentine's Days. Qixi in August and this one in February. I have always ignored Qixi. Most of the time, I don't even know it has come and gone until someone tells me about it. Unlike February 14, it is on a different date every year, like most Chinese holidays.

I probably would have gone out on Valentine's Day with Lily, but she is still in Canada. So I stayed home. She did not do anything either. Her dad is still in the hospital, so she spends most of her time there.

There were a few parties I could have gone to, but then everyone would ask why I am still single, as if being single is a lingering cough that you just can't shake. I have no qualms about going out by myself, but I would rather do it without being judged. Going out would have also made me vulnerable to questions about Lily and her dad that I simply cannot answer at this time.

Lily's Dad part 5

Lily's dad had another heart attack. They rushed him to the hospital and took care of him immediately. Right now, he is stable, but Lily is freaking out, understandably. I want to go to Winnipeg to be with her, but I can't abandon all of my jobs to comfort a friend. Can I?

I want to tell her that everything will be ok, but this is his third heart attack right after his second. Everything is not ok. His body is screaming at him that everything is definitely not ok. The doctors say he is stable, but a heart attack two weeks after a heart attack is the opposite of stable.

Part of me wants to quit everything and get on the next flight. There is absolutely nothing I can do for her father, but at least I could be there for Lily. Another part of me realizes that I might not have any jobs when I come back. I could ditch the play. That is no big deal. They can replace me in a second. But I need Disney for my visa, and leaving them shorthanded at the busiest time of the year is not very nice. The holiday puts more strain on everyone. Lily put even more strain on a few people by leaving without any notice. If I left, I would only add to all of that.

Then again, am I only rationalizing my fear of leaving? I know that going to Winnipeg is the right thing to do. I also know that staying here and fulfilling contractual obligations is the right thing to do.

The best possible outcome here is if Lily calls me and says her dad is great and they are sending him home. She would still be worried, of course, but at least she could worry at home instead of in a hospital room. With any luck, that is exactly what will happen soon.

Year of the Monkey

Happy New Year.

Monkey New Year

Sunday is New Year's Eve. It is not a public holiday, but New Year's Eve is when people really start to celebrate. The actual holidays are Monday to Wednesday, although Sunday is practically a holiday for anyone who does not work in retail and/or food service. After Wednesday, everybody has to go back to work. Some people get the Lantern Festival off, but that is not a public holiday. Technically, the New Year holiday lasts 15 days, but in Hong Kong, only the first three officially count.

This is my sixth Lunar New Year in Hong Kong. The first one was right after I got here and I had no idea what was going on. I was in a brand new city in a completely alien country and everyone was partying their hats off. I almost thought that was typical Hong Kong, but then it all quickly died down and everyone went back to their routine.

I am by no means an expert on Chinese culture or their festivals, but I think I understand this one better than I used to. I always know when it is coming up, which is unusual for Chinese holidays. Sometimes people tell me it was a holiday yesterday and I only missed it because it was in a different month the year before. The Lunar New Year can be any time between January and March, but enough people talk about it beforehand that everyone gets plenty of warning.

New Year's Eve is a big family dinner. I have no family here, obviously, but I look forward to some of the special food we only see during the New Year. There are a lot of good 油角 places near my apartment and all kinds of candy I never see the rest of the year.

New Year's Day is for going out to watch fireworks, lion dances and red envelopes. It can get low key in smaller Chinese towns, but Hong Kong is a medium-size city that knows how to put on a show. There are thousands of places to go to watch people perform. Almost everyone goes to Avenue of the Stars for the fireworks. That makes it a little crowded. It is like Times Square on solar New Year's Eve.

Day 2 is when daughters are supposed to go back to their parents' house and a lot of people visit their local temple. It is a great time to go to temples if you want to see how boisterous they can be. It is not such a great time to go to temples if you want to meditate in peace and quiet.

Day 3 is for burning money and letting a fortune teller decide what you will do for the year. This day means nothing to me. I am not a fan of burning money and I don't care for fortune tellers at all.

The holiday continues until the Lantern Festival, but people observe less and less as the days go on. Everyone goes nuts on New Year's Day, and even New Year's Eve, but it is hard to tell anything is even happening by day 14.

Lily's Dad part 4

Lily is staying at her parents' house. She says it is strange to spend so much time there after being away for so long, but that it is also nice to be somewhere familiar. I can understand both parts of that. When you move to the other side of the world, it is nice to hold onto even the smallest things that remind you of home. Actually being there changes everything. She is eating the foods she grew up with, walking down the streets she walked as a child and going to sleep in the house where she spent most of her life.

Then there is her father. He is doing a lot better, but is still weak and needs to learn how to eat again. He grew up a rugged Canadian eating too much red meat and salt on everything. Now, he has to eat healthy food. Healthy by Canadian standards means only two cups of maple syrup on your French fries. He needs to get healthy by medical standards. That is probably harder to do after a lifetime of Tim Hortons and poutine.

For the record, Tim Hortons is awesome – second only to Krispy Kreme – and poutine is a national treasure. But neither are what anyone would call healthy.