Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Made in China



It seems like a lot of things are fabricated by China these days.

They also make a lot of things.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Three's a Crowd

We were lying in bed, about to go to sleep, when Ryan told me that he wants to have a threeway. This came out of nowhere. I asked him why and he said it’s his lifelong dream. I always thought his lifelong dream is to be a rock star, and I’ve known him for quite a while. I didn’t want to point that out since most rock stars probably have threeways all the time.

We talked about it a little, but it was late and I was tired. I just wanted to go to sleep. Eventually, Ryan realized that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this while I was half asleep, so he gave up and went to sleep too.

I can only imagine what he dreamed about that night.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Typhoon Songda part 2



Typhoon Songda has completely ignored Hong Kong, completely changed course and is headed toward the Philippines. That’s great news for us. Not so great for the Philippines.

It’s now a super typhoon. That means the winds get higher than 100 mph. That’s just ridiculous.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Typhoon Songda

Typhoon Songda is headed our way. It scraped over Japan and is coming right toward Hong Kong. They’re saying the wind speeds should hit 100 mph. That sounds pretty big to me.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Introducing Lily

I haven’t really talked much about Lily. She’s my best friend here in Hong Kong – other than Ryan, of course. We started out as rivals since we’re both performers, but since she has lighter hair and I have darker hair, we’re not really up for the same parts as much. The fact that she is drop dead gorgeous while I am relatively attractive might have something to do with it. Now that I’m Belle and she’s Tinker Bell, there’s no competition at all. My next goal is Snow White and hers is Cinderella. The funniest part is that all of the face characters have to wear wigs anyway since it would take too long to do the hair right and there would never be any uniformity, so our natural color is irrelevant.

Everything at Disney is divided by appearance far more than talent or training. If you’re too tall, you can’t get some parts no matter how talented you are. Ryan could easily play face characters, but they won’t let him since he’s a giant in Hong Kong. Ironically, millions of Chinese people are too short to play most of the characters. I think the height restrictions were created in California or Florida for people from California or Florida. Now that Disney is in China, Japan and France, they might want to rethink things.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Celebration in the Air




I finally get to be Belle. I’ve mostly been singing and dancing background, but now I get to be the star. Once a week, at least.

Disney’s doing all kinds of new things for the big “Celebration in the Air” anniversary. One of those is the introduction of Tinker Bell. Every night Sleeping Beauty Castle becomes Tinker Bell’s Castle. They put a bunch of lights on it and make it look like it’s covered in fairy dust. It’s really pretty impressive. My friend, Lily, gets to be one of the Tinker Bells.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Condom Shopping

We were about to have sex and I could not help but notice that Ryan did not have a condom. I have a lot of rules that bother him, but the condom rule has always been something he can get on board with. When he told me he was out, I told him to go get more. No guy likes to put on the breaks when he has a raging erection, but getting pregnant right now is really not something I want to do. Ryan knows this, and he knows if the options are go to 7-11 or not get any action, he will go to 7-11.

This is Hong Kong. 7-11 is everywhere – and open 24 hours. From our apartment, you can turn left or right and hit a 7-11 in less than five minutes. We also have Circle K – open 24 hours, Wellcome and Jason’s Market – both open late. They all sell condoms. There doesn’t seem to be any taboo about it either. I’ve bought condoms at 7-11 and the clerk didn’t even blink. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a foreigner or that’s just the attitude. No store seems ashamed of anything they sell and no customer seems embarrassed by anything they buy.

Ryan’s complaint is that Hong Kong condoms are too small. I’m not so sure about that. I don’t know if Asian guys really are smaller, but I know that Ryan is not exactly a bull elephant. Condoms can stretch a lot, so if they’re really too small then Asian dicks must be tiny. I think it’s more likely that Ryan just doesn’t want to buy more condoms. Maybe it’s the Bill Murray/Lost In Translation thing. Ryan doesn’t tower over Chinese people the way Bill stood out in that elevator, but since moving to Hong Kong, he thinks he is taller.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Typhoon Season

I almost got to experience my first typhoon. There was a storm coming up from the Philippines, but it died out long before it hit us. Now there’s a storm coming from Japan, but they don’t think it will be strong enough to make it this far. It’s bringing some rain, though.

The strange thing to me is how hot is gets when it rains. Back home it gets cold when it rains. During tropical rains it actually gets hotter.

We don’t have typhoons in Minnesota, so I’m almost looking forward to my first one. I know they’re destructive and can be dangerous, but the city is pretty well protected so I’m not too worried. They don’t last nearly as long as a blizzard. Typhoons usually only last a day. So I don’t think it will be too bad.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Macau part 3

The legal age in Macau is 18, just like in Hong Kong. This means Ryan and I can drink all we want even though we are both still under 21. I’m not much of a drinker anyway, but I am not above a cocktail at dinner. In Hong Kong, being legal at 18 really only means you can drink when you’re under 21. In Macau, it means you can drink and gamble.

Our hotel had an average size casino. We played some of the slot machines and Ryan tried roulette. We mostly lost.

We also went across the street and tried out the Wynn and MGM. I don’t know much about gambling, so I mostly stayed with slot machines, but I tried out some strange Chinese numbers game that I still don’t understand – and walked away $10 richer.

Ryan tried out some of the more advanced games and played blackjack for over three hours at the Wynn. He walked away with about $500 dollars. We quickly spent most of that with an afternoon at their spa with massages and seaweed on our faces and then an expensive dinner at a really nice Italian restaurant. No one ever said we were especially good at gambling.

The Venetian is father away, on a different island, but it is an event in itself. Even if you don’t gamble, it’s worth a look.

We also went to the Sands, but it was a bit of a let down after the Venetian. I liked the Fisherman’s Wharf across the street much more than the casino.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Finally



Just a little break from my boring Macau stories for something far more important. Osama bin Laden is dead. Finally.

I’m not a violent person. I hate war. I hate the way we kill each other like animals. I know hunters who have more respect for the lives of the animals they kill than people seem to have for other people. Having said that, I’m glad they killed Osama. He was pure evil. Letting him get away was the biggest mistake Bush ever made, in my opinion. As long as he was alive his terrorist buddies would always feel they could do whatever they wanted to the United States. Maybe if he was killed right away things wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Macau part 2

Another difference between Macau & Hong Kong is that Macau has pockets of empty streets. You really never see that in Hong Kong, where there are people everywhere.

Ryan is on a flashing kick lately, so he wanted to do it while we were somewhere less crowded than usual. I told him he could go first – and he did. So I took a few pictures of Ryan in various states of undress on deserted Macau streets. I don’t think I will be posting any here. Sorry.

He wanted to get completely naked at a Chinese temple, but I thought that would be too disrespectful. Streaking on an empty street is one thing, but we’re just visitors here. We shouldn’t completely piss off the locals.

I’m hoping this is the end of this little fantasy.