African Tour:Amboseli National Park

Four hours south of Nairobi, our first stop was Amboseli National Park. About the size of Denver, Amboseli is pretty small compared to other national parks. Kruger National Park is more than fifty times larger. But Amboseli has something Kruger and Denver never will. Not only is it one of the best places in the world to see a couple thousand elephants in the wild, it also has the best views of Mount Kilimanjaro. The mountain is in Kilimanjaro National Park in Tanzania, but the view from that side looks nothing like the famous view from Amboseli.

Since Mount Kilimanjaro is a volcano, it is flanked by volcanic rock that has been feeding the ample vegetation that feeds all the animals in the area. The ice cap also provides an almost endless supply of fresh water. Lake Amboseli only has water during the rainy season, but the entire park is pretty much a swamp. Animals need not gather at one place to drink, which is much safer for most of them.

I spent four nights at the Ol Tukai Lodge. The main building had a lobby, gift shop, and a large two story restaurant with scenic views from any seat around the outer edge. There were some standard hotel rooms near the main building. I stayed in one of the small cottages on the outskirts of the property. From the cottage patio, I could sit and watch the elephants walk along the fence line. There was an electric fence around the perimeter of the lodge that, while practically invisible, kept out the elephants and most mammals. Except baboons. They do whatever they want to do. The lodge also had a swimming pool that was not all that impressive. I never really had time for a swim anyway. The lodge was not exactly in the middle of the park, but Amboseli was small enough that driving from one end to the other did not take long.

My first day at Amboseli was short since we had to drive in from Nairobi. Edgar drove me to the lodge and helped me check in, which was unnecessary. Everyone who worked at Ol Tukai spoke English. Then he disappeared for a while so I could settle in and have lunch. I never asked him where he went when he was gone. That was none of my business. Right on time, he picked me up and we went out for an afternoon drive.

Like most game parks, mornings and evenings were the best times at Amboseli. Afternoons were best spent taking a break at the lodge. But I had only just arrived. I wanted to experience this new environment. Edgar seemed just as excited to show me everything as I was to see it. Up to this point, I only knew him as a driver. He wanted to show off his animal tracking skills.

Since Amboseli is the premier site to see elephants, it was only appropriate that my first dramatic animal encounter was with an elephant. We were in the van watching a group of gazelles when Edgar noticed two rather large male elephants walking toward our general direction. They were more than a few yards away and we were not directly in their path, but Edgar decided to back the van up a little just to give them plenty of space. As soon as we moved, the elephant in the front turned so that we would be directly in their path. He was not moving quickly or displaying any aggression, but he clearly altered his path on purpose. When Edgar backed up even further, the elephant changed course again. Edgar thought he wanted to show us who was boss. What the elephant never knew was that we had no intention of challenging him. Edgar was prepared to back that van up as far as it took. Wherever we were, that was where he wanted to be. When the giant elephant got close enough to charge us, Edgar simply drove away. As long as we were parked, we would always be in his way. By leaving, we let him know he won.

Finding elephants was easy. They were everywhere. I could look out the window of my cottage and sooner or later a group of elephants would walk past. I wanted to see a leopard. I have no particular interest in leopards, but I saw the rest of the Big Five at Kruger. Edgar's mission was to find me a leopard, though he warned me that afternoon was the worst possible time. We would be more likely to see one the next morning or maybe later that evening.

While we saw no leopards that afternoon, we came across a few prides of lions, a gang of buffalo, a cackle of hyenas, a confusion of wildebeest, a couple coalitions of cheetahs, a few herds of impalas, several towers of giraffes, multiple zeals of zebras, and more elephants than I could count. The predators were mostly napping, so the herbivores used the afternoon lull to go about their business.

Near the beginning of my leopard quest, we were driving around the savannah when Edgar said he might have spotted a leopard lying in the tall grass under a tree on the ridge over in the distance. He pointed and I could barely see the tree. I thought he was just trying to make himself look good. There was no way he could see anything that far away. We drove to the ridge and the tree became more obvious. It was still impossible to see if anything was in the grass. He slowed down when we got close and told me that the leopard must have run away. Yeah, right. The camouflaged leopard that he magically saw lying down just happened to leave right before we got there. Then he pointed out how the grass under the tree was flattened, as if something had been lying there. He also showed me the fresh claw marks on the tree. I got less skeptical pretty quickly. Obviously, something had been there. Maybe not a leopard, but whatever it was, Edgar saw it from a respectable distance.

In addition to his excellent eyesight, Edgar used his phone to keep in contact with other guides throughout the park. They all let each other know where to find something interesting, right after they showed their customers first.

One of the benefits to sleeping in the park was that I could be there before the gates opened in the morning and after they closed at night. We would take full advantage of that on other days, but Edgar thought we should take it easy on the first day. I had flown in from Dar es Salaam, which is not all that far, and we had driven from Nairobi. It was a bit of a long day. He was also mindful of how much and how often my people like to eat. I tried to explain that I do not need three jumbo meals each day, but he knew that I was American. He wanted to make sure I was back at the lodge before they stopped serving dinner.

The Ol Tukai Lodge was also used to dealing with western foreigners. There was always more than enough food for everyone. Though in the heart of East Africa, the menu was more intercontinental than anything else, with nothing too unfamiliar to North Americans and Western Europeans. They had a wide array of alcohol available at the small bar that could be taken or delivered anywhere on the property, and more than a few signs warning guests not to feed the monkeys.

That first night at Amboseli was the first time I really noticed the night sky. I had been in the Southern Hemisphere ever since we landed in Johannesburg, but most of that time was spent in cities. Even at Kruger, we were generally indoors and asleep by the time it got truly dark. After dinner at Amboseli, I sat with a drink on my cottage patio and looked up at the stars. There was little point in looking out to the savannah since it was pitch dark. There were elephants out there. I could hear them. But I could not even see the fence line, let alone all the animals on the other side, The sky was the only thing visible beyond the lodge lights. I have never been much of an expert when it comes to astronomy, but I could always find the Big Dipper. Until this night. There was also no North Star, though the Southern Cross was clear as day. Or night. It occurred to me that I did not even know the names of any Southern Hemisphere constellations. Everything I have ever heard about the constellations has always been about what is visible from the Northern Hemisphere.

Our first full day at Amboseli started early in the morning. That was fine with me. Edgar seemed to be as much of a morning person as I was. Or at least he faked it well when he was on the clock. While driving around, he got a call from one of his guide friends that some lions were hunting a wildebeest. This was exactly the sort of thing you could only see in the early morning and evening hours, and what most visitors wanted to see. I never really understood that part. I was there to see the animals as much as the next person, but I had no particular interest in watching them eat each other. Lions frolicking in nature were always more interesting to me than lions gorging on breakfast.

Edgar rushed us to the hunt site. By the time we got there, the money shot was over. I saw a pride of lions feast on a wildebeest carcass. Edgar was a little confused when I did not take any pictures. Next to a dramatic kill shot, this was what the tourists wanted to see. I told him that I wanted to experience the environment, not any specific event. He suddenly realized that his job just got a lot easier. If only he could find a leopard.

By lunchtime, we were nowhere near the lodge. Edgar gave me two options. He could drive me back to the lodge for lunch, where I could take a break from the afternoon heat, or we could have a bit of a picnic and make it a full day. I was out and about and saw no reason to stop, so we ate lunch under an acacia tree. He kept a cooler in the van, from which we ate yogurt and cheese. He also had a bag of bread and other snacks. The highlight of lunch was an ice cold Pepsi. He had Pepsi in the cooler because I bought myself one when we stopped at a local grocery store on the drive from Nairobi to Amboseli. I am not a big Pepsi fan, but the store's selection was limited. They only had a few drinks and even fewer were chilled. I wanted a cold drink. A bottle of Pepsi was the easiest option. From that moment on, Edgar made sure to keep ice cold Pepsi on hand.

The ice cold part is important. It got a little warm on the savannah in the middle of the day. Several people warned me that it would be hot at Amboseli and all the other game parks during the rainy season. Since it was the rainy season, it might also be a little humid, though it was never going to rain every day. But I live in Taiwan. Kenya humidity is nothing by comparison, and the temperature never went above 30 degrees. The biggest adjustment was how much it dropped at night. In Taiwan, hot days lead to warm nights. In Kenya, cold nights were more than possible.

Photograph by Diana Robinson
As much as I liked Kruger, Amboseli quickly became my favorite national park. Having a professional guide made all the difference, as did sleeping inside the park. After the gates closed, we could still drive around. Spotting animals is far more difficult at night, but the park itself is beautiful during and right after the sun sets. After Edgar went home for the day, the lodge was large enough for a nighttime walk. I have no idea what Kruger sounds like in the middle of the night, but I can tell you that the animals of Amboseli never close. It was almost like camping, only with elephants and lions instead of crickets and owls.

African Tour:Nairobi Again

Jomo Kenyatta International Airport
Nairobi, Kenya
Dar es Salaam was the final leg of our big African Tour. Once finished, we all flew back to Nairobi. From Nairobi, everyone else flew out of Africa and slowly made their way east. I had other plans.

Kruger National Park was great, but it felt unfinished. Driving around on our own, we only saw bits and pieces. I knew right away that a trained professional could have shown us far more. Under most circumstances, I will always choose to go exploring rather than to take a guided tour. Where I live, tour guides spend more time at the gift shops than at whatever everyone is there to see. Most sights will never give a tour guide a percentage of sales. Plenty of nearby shops will.

Kenya has more than its fair share of national parks. It also has hundreds of registered companies that can show you around. Finding the right one probably takes a great deal of research. Unless you meet someone in Cape Town whose cousin is a safari guide licensed by the Kenya Wildlife Service. It only took one phone call for me to know this was the right guy. He knew what he was talking about and did not hesitate to tell me when my plans were unrealistic.

I had a list of places I wanted to see, including the Serengeti, the Maasai Mara, Tsavo East National Park, Amboseli National Park, Mount Kenya, and Lake Victoria. Edgar pointed out that seeing all of those places in one trip would take considerably more time than I had. He explained the travel times, how long I should stay at each place, and what I would see where.

We created a more realistic itinerary: Amboseli, Lake Nakuru, the Massai Mara, and Serengeti. From Nairobi, Amboseli is south, Lake Nakuru is north, the Massai Mara is west, and the Serengeti is southwest. The most logical course would be to drive in a big circle, but you have to take into consideration the best times to visit each park and how crowded they are going to be. Looking at a map, I would say it makes sense to go clockwise from Nairobi. That would make Lake Nakuru the last stop. Wisely, Edgar wanted the Serengeti to be the last park I saw. I also realized after the fact that making Amboseli the first stop was a brilliant move.

Edgar picked me up at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport just after five in the morning. My flight got in extra early because everyone else was taking another flight to Doha. He did not seem to mind the early hour. In fact, most of our time together would be spent earlier in the day rather than later. We were going to national parks. Just like Kruger, they all opened their gates around sunrise and closed at sunset. The difference this time was that I would be sleeping inside the parks. Edgar picked me up in the morning, drove me around all day, and dropped me off in the evening.

When we loaded my bags into his van, I wondered where everyone else was. In general, safari companies like to cram in as many people as possible, unless you pay extra for a private tour. I did not. But I got one anyway. That was my bonus for knowing his cousin. I loved the idea of not being in a crowd, but wondered if this was the kind of thing I should be doing alone. More often than not, I prefer to share life's more interesting experiences with other people. On the other hand, my travel companions at Kruger were kind of a pain in the ass. There are advantages to not wasting time doing something someone else wants to do or following their bathroom schedule. Since this turned out to be a private safari, I could do whatever I wanted, pending Edgar's advice.

I also wondered why we were in a van. I was expecting a jeep. Whenever you see pictures of people on safari, they are in a big, open jeep. Edgar took me everywhere in a white Toyota Hi Ace van. That turned out to be pretty convenient. It had a roof that popped up like a camper van, without the tent, so I could stand and get unobstructed views of everything. I could also stand and sing “Born To Be Wild” while driving through the savannah. Some of the drives between parks were a little long, but as the only passenger in a nine seat van, I had plenty of room to stretch out. The van also had more room than a jeep for my luggage. Unlike most people that Edgar picked up from the airport in Nairobi, I had just come from several other cities in Kenya and South Africa. I left as much of my luggage with the company as I could, but I still had more than I needed.

African Tour:Drakensberg Escarpment part 2

The Drakensberg Escarpment
While the rest of the company flew from Cape Town to Nairobi, our little group drove to Johannesburg, returned the rental car, and caught a flight that reunited us with everyone late at night. We could have gotten there much earlier, but we still had large chunks of the Drakensberg Escarpment to explore.

Our route from Johannesburg to Hazyview was northeast to Lydenburg, east along the Panorama Route, a little back and forth around the waterfalls at Sabie, and then due east to Hazyview. Our route from Hazyview to Johanesburg was a little different.

The 45 minute drive to Graskop was mostly one long country road with a lot of trees that gradually went uphill. When we turned from R535 to R533, it became a winding uphill road. There were fewer trees, but the occasional glimpse of how much elevation we were getting. Graskop was an easy enough town to drive through without worrying about missing anything. I think the only reason anyone goes there is for the nearby scenery.

God's Window
Just north of town is God's Window, a cliff with views of the valley almost one kilometer down. There is no indication that anything like this exists on the drive to Graskop. We obviously went uphill, but the road was never at the side of any hills. It is a simple country drive to a small country town, and then suddenly, you are looking out over the edge of the Drakensberg Escarpment.

Pinnacle
Just north of God's Window is the Pinnacle, a tall rock formation you can only see by standing on the edge of a steep cliff and looking down. It is a nice looking rock, as far as rocks go, but not the kind of place you can spend all day.

Wonder View
North of the Pinnacle is Wonder View, another cliffside perch. The name is not too clever, but you get incredible views of the seemingly endless rainforest below. Though facing the same direction, it looks different from God's Window.

Lisbon Falls

Berlin Falls
Just west of Wonder View are Berlin Falls and Lisbon Falls. Like Mac Mac Falls, Lisbon Falls are just off the road. You park at a large parking lot, walk a few meters, and look down at the waterfalls below. Berlin Falls is a little farther from the road, but the parking lot looks exactly the same. And it is only a single stream of water, at least when we went. Mac Mac and Lisbon had more water rushing over their cliffs.

Blyde River Canyon
All of these spots are at the southern tip of the enormous Blyde River Canyon, the second longest canyon in Africa. The first is Fish River Canyon in Namibia. Fish River Canyon, like the Grand Canyon in Arizona, is dirt and rock. Blyde River Canyon is green as far as the eye can see. Except for all the blue in the river.

Bourke's Luck Potholes
Photograph by Daniele Codegoni
About 30km north of Berlin Falls are Bourke's Luck Potholes, large erosions in the rock that have created small pools more or less separated from the river. Driving to the potholes is not an option, but there is a visitor's center with minimal parking. The hike is relatively level on a clearly marked trail with three separate foot bridges that span across the Blyde River. The potholes are easily seen just past the east bridge.

Three Rondavels
Less than 20km north of the potholes are the Three Rondavels, a series of mountain peaks on the Drakensberg Mountains. Rather than look down the canyon, as with the potholes, the Three Rondavels are viewed from a few different vantage points on the other side of the river. The point we went to had no parking lot. Everyone simply parked on the side of the road. That was easy enough since that particular road went nowhere else. Touching the Three Rondevels requires a long hike through the canyon. We did not have nearly enough time for that. Most people just look at them and take pictures.

Though most of the Blyde River Canyon lay before us, we had a car to return and a flight to catch. We had been driving north most of the day. Johannesburg was 430km to the southwest. We had less time to stop and appreciate the scenery, but I thought the drive out of the canyon was more beautiful than the drive in. At least until we turned onto R36. That was just another country road, and the same road we took to Lydenburg, though headed south this time.

The Drakensberg Escarpment
After a brief stop in Lydenburg, we were back on the same route that got us there in the first place. The only difference was that I liked driving out of the big city and into the wide open country a lot better than the other way around. At Lanseria International Airport, we returned the car and boarded a plane for Nairobi.

I have to say, South Africa was the easiest country in the world when it came to renting cars. There were never any problems or delays and they always had the kind of car I reserved. As long as there were no additional drivers, they were more than happy to take my money and give me the keys. I have no idea if I will ever go back to South Africa, though I certainly hope so. If I do, I will not hesitate to rent a car or two. The countryside is beautiful and easy to drive around. Cape Town has some parking issues in the City Centre, but is otherwise a great driving city.

Even without driving, Cape Town was my favorite city in South Africa. We met friendly people everywhere we went, especially Betty in Durban. But as an international city, Cape Town has more diversity than Durban, which really helps when it comes to all that racial tension just barely hiding under the surface. As a beach city, Cape Town is more laid back than Johannesburg. There was still more of Africa to see, but I had a feeling South Africa was always going to be my favorite.

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Just a reminder, I did not take any of these photographs. These are placeholders until I can replace them with my own. I am attempting to give credit to the photographers when I know who they are.

African Tour:Kruger National Park part 3

After entering Kruger through the Phabeni Gate twice already, there was little point in going to the same area a third time. Realistically, there was a point. We cold have easily spent every day near Phabeni and still only scratched the surface. But since we all agreed that we wanted to cover as much ground as possible, it made more sense to enter and exit different gates. On our last day at the park, we took the Phalaborwa Gate, which is more than a two hour drive from Hazyview. That meant leaving our warm rooms by 03:00 and braving the cold, dark morning drive.

Not that it was cold. Even winters in Kaohsiung get colder than spring mornings in South Africa. The dark was different since we did most of our driving outside of Hazyview during daylight hours, but the drive to Phalaborwa was mostly one road and there was absolutely no traffic. Leaving extra early in the morning meant there were only three of us instead of four. One of the night owls could barely go to sleep by 03:00, let alone wake up. I could sympathize, but when you make an extra effort to go someplace that requires an early start, and the tiny town in the middle of nowhere has no night life to speak of, you might as well go to bed and wake up early.

Our first two days were mostly ambling around. The Phabeni and Crocodile Bridge gates are relatively close to each other. If you simply wanted to go in one and straight out the other, for some reason, you could probably do it in under three hours. Phabeni to Phalaborwa is a little farther, but that is the most narrow section of the park and you mostly drive north and south. The rest camps north of Skukuza are less interesting, so there is less reason to spend more time in one spot. The two gates on our last day were more than 200km apart. While it might sound easy to drive 200km in 13 hours, it can be challenging when you stop a lot to smell the roses, not to mention masticate and micturate.

I paid more attention to closing hours on the way to Punda Maria. We left the park by 18:30, as we did every day. We wanted to hit those gates right before they closed, while being careful not to stay too late. The fines to get out after they close the gates are steep, and they reserve the option to ban you from reentering the park. Since we had been driving north all day, we were as far from Hazyview as we were going to get. The drive home was about five hours, mostly during and just after sunset. It got dark pretty quickly on the country road with no street lights, but half the drive was the same way we took from Hazyview to Phalaborwa, so it was not completely unfamiliar. This was one of those times we were really glad there were gas stations inside the park.

After three days at Kruger, we had spotted all of the Big Five, except leopards, as well as several small families of cheetah, a few packs of dogs, maybe a hundred hippos bunched together in a river, who knows how many crocodiles mostly under the water, dozens of hyena and jackal, some warthogs, a few foxes, dozens of baboons and smaller monkeys, at least a hundred giraffes, even more wildebeest, and countless zebras. The most abundant animal we saw, by far, were the antelopes. There are more than a few species of antelope in Kruger. I could not even begin to guess which was which, but since there are more than 100,000 impala in the park, I can assume we saw a few of those.

Kruger also has hundreds of species of birds. I can tell the difference between an eagle, hawk, and stork, but I am not about to try and identify each species. Except the marabou stork. That one is pretty easy because it is so ugly. Ostriches were also easy, but we saw plenty of them in Cape Town.

I stayed in Hazyview for a few days, but know pretty much nothing about the town. Since we always left for Kruger early in the morning and came back after sunset, we saw nothing in town. All we did in Hazyview was sleep and go to the grocery store once.

Staying at a hotel outside the park seemed like a good idea at the time. With strict gate times, there is far more freedom of movement if you sleep outside. Since we arrived late on our first night, an outside hotel was the only option. In hindsight, staying at one of the lodges inside the park would have been more efficient, even though that also would have meant driving directly to the park and not seeing anything on the Panorama Route since the park gates close so early. The Blue Jay Lodge in Hazyview was quite nice. Phil and Margi are friendly hosts. I can easily recommend it. But if I ever go back, I will definitely stay inside Kruger.

African Tour:Kruger National Park part 2

Phalaborwa Gate
For our second day at Kruger, we entered at the same Phabeni Gate in the morning, but left through the Phalaborwa Gate in the evening. Instead of exploring the southern end of the park, we drove north from Phabeni and explored the middle section. Since Phalaborwa is about 170km from Phabeni, that meant a longer drive back to Hazyview, but everyone was happy that we did not have to wake up any earlier.

In addition to all the marked roads you can drive around and look for animals, there are designated areas of the park where you can get out of your car. There are also ample hiking trails. Driving is the best way to get around Kruger, but you do not have to stay in your car the entire time. The biggest rule, aside from the prohibition against murdering the wildlife, is to stay in your car any time you are close to any of the Big Five. They can all kill you effortlessly. Elephants and lions mostly do not, unless you piss them off. Leopards are more likely to run away. Buffalo and rhinos will kill you as a matter of principle.

Kruger is mostly untamed wilderness, with paved roads and plenty of signs. The park also houses a surprising amount of civilization, at least compared to the immediate environment outside its borders. There are gas stations near most of the gates, which are terribly convenient when driving around all day. There are a variety of places to sleep inside the park, from expensive all-inclusive lodges to small self-catering huts to tents in the grass, though all have to be booked months in advance. Some of the rest camps have middle of the road accommodations, restaurants, shops, gas stations, and something every game reserve needs, ATMs.

Sabie River from Skukuza Rest Camp
Since we left Hazyview early every morning and came back after sunset, we did most of our eating inside Kruger. Skukuza is practically a tiny village inside the park. Both restaurants served a wide variety of international cuisine, the main store had everything you could ever need while driving around a national park all day, and there was a nice walking path along the Sabie River. It also had a library and golf course, though I cannot imagine having enough time for either when the days were so short.

Lower Sabie Rest Camp
Though much smaller than Skukuza, Lower Sabie has the best restaurant in all of Kruger. The outdoor terrace overlooks the Sabie River, where you can watch elephants and lions get a drink while you eat lunch, yet every table is safely in the shade. Their store is more gift shop than supplies, but people have to buy coffee mugs with their names on them from somewhere.

Olifants River from Olifants Rest Camp
Olifants is a basic spot to take a pit stop and is mostly unremarkable. Except that it sits on a small hill over the Olifants River. There are multiple vantage points to stare at the river and watch elephants, lions, hippos, and crocodiles leave each other alone.

Tsende River from Mopani Rest Camp
Mopani has a decent little coffee shop and plenty of views of the Tsende River.

Guineafowl at Punda Maria Rest Camp
Punda Maria is the northernmost rest camp, and pretty basic. The tiny restaurant is more fast food than diner and the shop looks like a small 7-Eleven. But the area around the camp is a birdwatcher's paradise and several species of antelope hang out in the area. Unfortunately, there is no river nearby, so large mammal spotting is less likely.

African Tour:Kruger National Park part 1

Kruger National Park is enormous. It covers about two million hectares, which is roughly the size of New Jersey or Israel. Though rarely more than 60-80km wide, the park is over 350km long. Driving straight through from end to end without stopping would take all day. Not stopping for any reason would defeat the purpose of going to the park. We knew we were never going to see it all in what little time we had. We decided to get in early every day and concentrate on a different section of the park.

All of the gates opened at 05:30. I would have preferred to get there earlier. The best times to spot most of the animals away from their beds were sunrise and sunset. The more elusive creatures liked to nap in the middle of the day when it was hottest. My roommates were not enthusiastic about waking before dawn, but they knew that our time was limited. Since the gates closed before sunset, our best chances were in the early morning hours.

Phabeni Gate
The only way to get into Kruger, legally, is through one of nine gates spread out around the park. Our hotel was a quick drive to the Phabeni Gate, so it made the most sense to go there first. But if we entered that gate every day, we would always be in that section of the park. To see more of the park, it made sense to enter through different gates each day, which required longer drive times. That meant waking up even earlier to be there by 05:30. I never had a problem with that. My roommates were less enthusiastic.

We entered the Phabeni Gate just after 05:30 on our first day. That meant waking up an hour before the sun. I have always been a morning person. My travel companions were not. Only one of them was capable of waking herself that early. The other two were like teenagers on the day of a big test. Except that they volunteered for this. They wanted to see Kruger and take pictures of animals. They simply wanted it to happen later in the day.

I knew that getting there early was a good idea as soon as we got there. Though it was just after 05:30, there was a line to get in. It moved slowly, and I could imagine how long it might take later in the day when there were ten times as many cars. Fortunately, the park is so large that even if you drive in with a few hundred other people, you can drive around all day and never see them again.

We also discovered pretty early that our 4 wheel drive jeep was completely unnecessary. The main roads in the park were well paved. Even the dirt trails were smooth enough for the average sedan. The most rugged off-road driving was where the general public was not allowed to go anyway. Instead of the Mercedes-Benz W463, we could have rented a brand new E-Class. Not that the jeep was uncomfortable, but I would not mind driving a proper Mercedes across Mpumalanga.

The main reason to drive through Kruger National Park is to look at animals in their natural habitat. The park provides all kinds of maps and apps to find whatever creature you want to see. The problem is that none of the animals know when or where they are scheduled to appear. Some animals are inevitable. We spotted antelopes and zebra near the side of the road before we even entered the park, and saw thousands more inside. They were not as skittish as any of the giraffe we saw, but they never let us get close. Most people want to see the “Big Five”, elephant, rhinoceros, buffalo, lion, and leopard. They were supposedly the hardest to hunt back when hunting was allowed. Now that they can only be shot with cameras, they are the top attractions, for some reason.

I can see why people actively seek leopards. They are solitary, they know how to hide in trees, they are essentially invisible in the tall grass, and they want nothing to do with humans. There are a thousand leopards living at Kruger. We saw none.

The rhinoceros is much easier to find, but not an animal you want to meet up close. Kruger has both black rhinos and white rhinos, whose numbers are increasing thanks to a greater effort to protect them and more aggressive prosecutions of poachers. The funniest thing about black and white rhinos is that they are neither black nor white. The British called white rhinos white because they misunderstood the Dutch name, similar to how they called Nederlanders Dutch because they confused them with the Deutsche. Black rhinos, like white rhinos, are gray and brown. We saw a few rhinos, but since they were all gray, we have no idea if they were black or white.

There are more buffalo at Kruger than any of the other Big Five. Spotting them is pretty easy since they travel in large herds and are never far from water. Getting close is impossible. African buffalo are nothing like American buffalo/bison. While American bison are pretty easy to slaughter en masse, African buffalo will not hesitate to kill anyone who gets too close. They have strong horns, weigh a ton, and are relentless. While a rhinoceros might run you over and run away, a buffalo will trample you, turn around, and go back for more until the job is done. That was why all the big manly hunter men saw their rotting corpses as prized trophies. None of your buddies back at the bar would be impressed if you killed a turkey, but if you cut the head off an animal that could easily kill you without a second thought, that should help everyone forget about how tiny your penis is.

Lions are the king of the jungle, which is a little ironic since they do not live in the jungle. Their numbers at Kruger are almost as small as leopards, but they are much easier to find since they live in groups and congregate out in the open. With no fear of any other animals, they see no reason to hide, and they are not at all impressed by humans. Everyone at Kruger is told to roll up all windows when driving close to lions. If they feel like it, they will climb onto your car. Our sturdy jeep would have been safe, but if you are in a Toyota Corolla, they are going to cause damage. The problem with lions is that you want to see them catch a zebra in some dramatic fashion, but they mostly just lie around during the daytime. Almost all of their hunting is at night when it is much cooler and the park is closed to visitors. We saw plenty of lions at Kruger. The most they did was stand up to go lie down somewhere else.

Photograph by Pierre-Yves Babelon
Elephants are the easiest of the Big Five. They are huge creatures that are easy to spot at a distance, though not as easy as giraffes, they travel in groups, and they are rarely aggressive. You can get pretty close to a female elephant. It is the males you have to watch out for, and only when they are horny. Conveniently, they let you know when to stay away. If a male is leaking fluid from the side of its head, or any elephant flaps its ears and loudly raises is trunk, it is time to move along. Otherwise, you can drive right up to them, slowly. The only time I did not want to get close was when a few other cars were around our elephant. He was almost surrounded and it was only a matter of time before he felt threatened. Since we were in front of him, I did not want to be there when he started flipping cars.

Kruger is big enough that you can drive around all day and never see another human. But sometimes you run into them. People driving through the park can follow whatever route they want. Some like to follow the guides. They think they are more likely to spot more animals if they stay close to the professionals. They are probably right. Since we were in a jeep, we would get someone following us every once in a while, even though official jeeps were an obviously different style, shape, and color from our car.

We left the park just minutes before they closed the gates. Since we entered through the Phabeni Gate, we decided to exit at the Crocodile Bridge Gate. That gave us the entire foot of Kruger to explore. Since we left just before closing, there was almost as long a line to get out as there had been to get in. While all of the gates are at well paved roads, to get out of the park at the Crocodile Bridge Gate, you have to cross a ramshackle wooden bridge over the Crocodile River. The bridge is barely wide enough for one car at a time, so the line moves slowly.

Outside of the park, it is a quick drive near the Mozambique border to the N4 and about two hours to Hazyview. Since we were in no hurry to leave, we all decided it was better to drive the long way home than to drive farther to get into the park. We also quickly realized that we might want to eat most of our meals inside the park. Hazyview is not a 24 hour town, and while it is surrounded by beautiful scenery, there are not a lot of options if you want to pick up a bite on the way home.

African Tour:Drakensberg Escarpment part 1

Lanseria International Airport
Johannesburg, South Africa
After we finished our last show in Cape Town, we had a few extra days before we were scheduled to fly to Nairobi. The plan was for everyone to hang out in Cape Town and enjoy the city. I could have easily done that. We spent more time in Cape Town than anywhere else in all of Africa. I could have spent a few extra weeks or months in Cape Town. But an opportunity came up that I knew I had to take.

Four of us flew back to Johannesburg. Not because we liked Johannesburg more than Cape Town. Far from it. Cape Town is an objectively better city. We flew to Johannesburg because we wanted to go to Kruger National Park. There are closer airports to Kruger, and even one in the park itself, but we decided that something larger, like Johannesburg's Lanseria International Airport, would probably have safer planes. More importantly, I heard good things about the drive to Kruger and I wanted to take it.

We rented a car at Lanseria, which was just as easy as renting a car anywhere else in South Africa. The only thing they cared about was making extra drivers pay an extra fee. Once again, the car we rented had a manual transmission and I was the only one who could drive it. Even if it had been an automatic, I doubt anyone else would have wanted to drive.

We rented a light gray 2018 Mercedes-Benz W463 5 speed. Though older than most rental cars, this one was in excellent shape and had surprisingly few miles. At least before I got my hands on it. People in my country think of Mercedes as a luxury car. South Africans have a more European view. This was a utility truck that was not designed to turn heads. It looked like a big jeep. We chose a truck over a sedan because we figured we might need something that could go off-road at Kruger. We also knew the drive through the Drakensberg Escarpment would be rugged, though any car could have made it. Most of the roads were every bit as paved as any major highway in Western Europe. A few were even brand new.

From Lanseria Airport, we drove half an hour up into Pretoria where we took a sharp east turn onto highway N4. After about two hours, we turned north onto R36 and drove for an hour to Lydenburg, which was a good place for a pit stop. Lydenburg is to the Drakensberg Escarpment as Merced is to Yosemite. A small town with little to offer, it had enough fuel for the car and our bodies.

Long Tom Pass
From Lydenburg, we took R37 east to Sabie. This was where the drive got interesting. Lydenburg is more or less flat. R37 gradually goes uphill for 13km, at which point it becomes a standard mountain drive of endless ups and downs. R37 is nothing but nature until about 18km from Lydenburg. Right off the road is an entrance to a farm. There is no way to tell how large the farm is, but you see nothing from the road besides the entrance gate and miles and miles of grazing cows. Five or six kilometers from the farm gate is Long Tom Pass, the beginning of the Panorama Route, so called because the scenery immediately gets more impressive than farms and fields. It is like Chapman's Peak Drive, only with valleys and mountains instead of city and ocean. Long Tom Pass is the first point where you can really see how high up in the mountains you are.

Part of the Panorama Route
Deep into Long Tom Pass is Long Tom, a large canon that was used against the English during the Second Boer War. It could not be more out of place, sitting on a hill and facing an endless natural view of mountains and the valleys below.

Sabie Falls
Photograph by Mariaan Buys
Sabie is home to more than a few waterfalls. The Sabie River covers some rugged terrain. Sometimes that river has no choice but to plummet down a gorge or into a valley. The closest waterfall from the city of Sabie is, appropriately, Sabie Falls. It is easy to get to and not all that impressive. My last real boyfriend was from Cape Town. One of the reasons I wanted to take this drive was to see all the things he talked about, and promised to show me, when we took the someday trip to Kruger National Park that never happened. He talked about a few waterfalls. Sabie Falls was not one of them.

Bridal Veil Falls
From Sabie Falls, we drove five or six kilometers west to Bridal Veil Falls, an exceptionally thin waterfall that drops about 70 meters. The area is surrounded by hiking trails and is probably an excellent place to walk around all day. We had less time.

Lone Creek Falls
Lone Creek Falls is less than three kilometers from Bridal Veil Falls, but the drive is three times farther. Lone Creek Falls is another thin waterfall, about the same height as Bridal Veil Falls. Where Bridal Veil Falls drips into a tiny puddle, Lone Creek Falls fills a pool.

Horseshoe Falls
It took pretty much the same amount of time to get From Lone Creek Falls to Horseshoe Falls as it took to get from Bridal Veil Falls to Lone Creek Falls. They are conveniently spaced out evenly from north to south, with Sabie Falls a more or less equal distance from Bridal Veil Falls to the east. Horseshoe Falls are either three separate waterfalls right next to each other or one waterfall divided by plants and birds and rocks and things. Though short as waterfalls go, the area is completely natural. There are no wooden walkways or guide rails. Without the hiking trails, it would be impossible to find.

Mac Mac Falls
A little more than ten kilometers north on R532 from Sabie is Mac Mac Falls, another tall, thin waterfall. The big difference with Mac Mac Falls is that your vantage point is a higher elevation. Instead of looking up at the water crashing down in front of you, you look down at the water plummeting deep into a gorge that can only be reached with climbing equipment. Another difference is that Mac Mac Falls is incredibly close to the main road. The others require a quick hike through the wilderness. Mac Mac Falls is a short path away.

Panorama Route
Photograph by Freya Muller
There was far more to see on the Panorama Route and beyond, but everything was getting harder to see as the sun began to go down. Ideally, we would have started our drive early in the morning, but we left from Cape Town, not Johannesburg. Everything else would have to wait until the drive back to the airport.

Our hotel for the next few nights was in Hazyview, a small town next to the Phabeni Gate at the southwest end of Kruger National Park. Hazyview was 60km from Mac Mac Falls. In the time it took to get there, we could have seen some amazing sights on the Panorama Route, but we wanted to get to our hotel before the people who ran the place were asleep.

In broad daylight, the hotel was pretty easy to find. From R536, turn left on Tarentaal Lane and follow it as it curves around, turn right on Eagle Street and follow its curve, make a sharp left on Blue Jay Crescent and keep driving almost until the end of the road. Turn left into a driveway and there you are. Easy as punch.

After the sun goes down, it gets a little trickier. There are no street lights beyond downtown Hazyview. Worse, street signs are few and far between. Those that exist are small with black lettering and unlit. You have to know which streets you want to turn on. We had GPS and the internet, neither of which were reliable in the rural suburbs of Mpumalanga. R536 is a main street. Tarentaal Lane is a tiny road in between trees and a small fruit stall. As it goes uphill, it borders a wall and more trees. Even in daylight, it was like driving with blinders on. Eagle Street is an equally tiny road in between trees and more trees. At least it has a few houses here and there. Blue Jay Crescent is the most difficult turn. There is a sign that is barely visible at high noon. At night, you would never guess that is the correct street. Rather than a paved road, it is dried mud. We passed it several times thinking it could not possibly be the street we wanted. Not only is the road not really a road, it looks like it goes deep into the woods. From Eagle Street, all you can see are trees converging. We called the hotel owners a time or two to confirm that we were in the right place. They seemed to think it would be a good idea if a group of women who had never set foot in the area and barely spoke the language should drive an unfamiliar car down the pitch black, empty road to nowhere in the middle of the night. So we did. The farther we drove, the more convinced I was that we were going the wrong way. Eventually, we saw a gate and a small sign that told us we were at the right place. Deep into the night, the gate was closed, but the owners were wide awake and expecting us. Not surprisingly, foreigners get lost on the way to their hotel all the time.

When you drive up to Blue Jay Lodge, day or night, it looks like you are driving up to someone's house. All you can see from the street are trees and a gate. Inside the gate, it looks like a small resort or wilderness lodge with a lot of trees all over the place. We stayed in a rondavel, a round South African style house with a high, conical roof. The roof is probably a great relief in the summer, trapping heat several feet above the rest of the room. The temperature never got above the mid-20s while we were there, so the high roof never mattered to us. Each two story rondavel was divided in two. With four people in two rooms, we took up an entire floor. Each room had a kitchen, which was kind of a waste since we only used one and only rarely. We ate most of our meals inside Kruger National Park. The lodge provided an enormous breakfast spread every morning. Since we always left for the park before sunrise, we only had their breakfast when we checked out.

All of our accommodation before this point was at houses where we were on our own and hotels that had standard hotel food. This was our first bed and breakfast situation. In addition to our made to order breakfast, there was a variety of exotic cheeses, breads, and the freshest fruit I have seen in years. None of it was exotic to South Africans, but Taiwan is not a cheese or bread culture, so pretty much anything beyond cheddar, mozzarella, and white toast is a treat. Fresh fruit is rare too, for some reason. Plenty of tropical fruits grow on the island, but no one seems to sell them until a few days after they have been picked. The Blue Jay Lodge had some fruits commonly found in Taiwan, like kiwi, pineapple, and strawberries, but everything looked like it was brought in from the farm that morning.