My boyfriend and I broke up not long after I came home from Beijing. Technically, we agreed to take a break. In my mind, that is basically saying it's over. If I want to be with someone, I don't want them dating other women. And when men want a break, that generally means they want to sleep around. I have no interest in men who want to be teenagers.
As breakups/breaks go, I took it pretty well. When I came home from Beijing, I had plenty of other things to worry about. Dating was not at the top of my list. Not coincidentally, that was one of the reasons we took a break.
Sometimes relationships end and those involved decide to be friends. Some people can make that work from time to time. Some people never can. I always had a feeling that we could be friends, or at least remain in contact. Our break and/or breakup was amazingly civil. But we did absolutely none of the things that friends do together and made no effort to keep in touch. That might have been because I was preoccupied with other things.
Then he proposed.
He does not want me to share personal information online, which is one of the things I always liked about him. He finds Facebook as destructive as I do. So right now, in this very moment, I'm typing up what I want to say, but I don't know if I will post it. I suppose I could make it as impersonal as possible, but how little can I say when talking about why I turned down a marriage proposal? I could tell him that only people I actually know ever read this blog, but he would tell me how that makes it worse.
I said no for a few reasons. We dated for just under a year. That is entirely too soon for me. We never lived together, and the thought never crossed my mind. I moved in with my last boyfriend entirely too soon, but at least we were together for eight years, and never even came close to marriage. I like to take my time.
I also considered that he asked for all the wrong reasons. I was in a bit of a fender bender not too long ago. He worried that I went to first base with Death and might have come close to going all the way. That is the kind of thing that scares people. I understand that completely. It was not a walk in the park for me either. I'm grateful to have people in my life who worry about me. When I was missing, from their point of view, they worked hard to find me. My best friends flew to a foreign country to bring me home. That takes more effort than clicking the thumbs up button. That is real world friendship. I'm not alone, which is wonderful, but not reason enough to get married.
There is also the issue of cognitive deficits. When your brain gets cut open, there is always the very real risk that you might make some really bad decisions. Your judgment and reason can go a little fuzzy. It is not the best time to make major life choices. Call me crazy, but I only want to get married once. I know everyone thinks their first marriage will last even though the odds are not great, but getting hitched while your marbles are still a little loose can't possibly improve those odds.
I never met his family. That is a big deal to me. You learn a lot about a person from their family. His is 8,000 miles away, so it's no mystery why we never met, but they talk to each other all the time. They live in Cape Town, so that would have been a great trip. It looks like a beautiful city. The closer the family is, the more you marry them as well as the man. I can't marry total strangers.
We also took a break when I came home. That kind of bothers me. If he can't handle me when my brain is cut open, I have mystery fluids oozing out of creative places, and I'm babbling incoherently in broken Chinese and Shakespearean English … I would swear I had a point to make at the beginning of that sentence. I don't blame him for freaking out when I looked my worst, but when you marry someone, you have to assume that their body is going to go downhill sooner or later. I can forgive friends who abandoned me when they were afraid of how to react, but a husband has to be there for you no matter what.
Showing posts with label who invented boyfriends?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label who invented boyfriends?. Show all posts
Friday, December 15, 2017
Monday, February 15, 2016
Valentine's Day 2016
I can't remember the last time I did not have a date on Valentine's Day. I was in high school. I was not worried that I did not have a boyfriend because I knew I was young enough that society was not going to look down on me for being single. At 15, no one freaks out if you are not paired off. Parents are especially ok with it. At 25, everyone wonders what's wrong. At 35, people assume you must be a freak.
Valentine's Day is a fake holiday. Everyone knows it, but most of us play along anyway. We buy the candy and give people cards and gifts. I have been giving out Valentine's Day cards since I was in kindergarten. Hallmark made a lot of money off me.
China has two Valentine's Days. Qixi in August and this one in February. I have always ignored Qixi. Most of the time, I don't even know it has come and gone until someone tells me about it. Unlike February 14, it is on a different date every year, like most Chinese holidays.
I probably would have gone out on Valentine's Day with Lily, but she is still in Canada. So I stayed home. She did not do anything either. Her dad is still in the hospital, so she spends most of her time there.
There were a few parties I could have gone to, but then everyone would ask why I am still single, as if being single is a lingering cough that you just can't shake. I have no qualms about going out by myself, but I would rather do it without being judged. Going out would have also made me vulnerable to questions about Lily and her dad that I simply cannot answer at this time.
Valentine's Day is a fake holiday. Everyone knows it, but most of us play along anyway. We buy the candy and give people cards and gifts. I have been giving out Valentine's Day cards since I was in kindergarten. Hallmark made a lot of money off me.
China has two Valentine's Days. Qixi in August and this one in February. I have always ignored Qixi. Most of the time, I don't even know it has come and gone until someone tells me about it. Unlike February 14, it is on a different date every year, like most Chinese holidays.
I probably would have gone out on Valentine's Day with Lily, but she is still in Canada. So I stayed home. She did not do anything either. Her dad is still in the hospital, so she spends most of her time there.
There were a few parties I could have gone to, but then everyone would ask why I am still single, as if being single is a lingering cough that you just can't shake. I have no qualms about going out by myself, but I would rather do it without being judged. Going out would have also made me vulnerable to questions about Lily and her dad that I simply cannot answer at this time.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Rainy Days and Birthdays Always Get Me Down
Not really, but that was the first title that popped into my head. I actually like the rain, and I'm not old enough to fear getting older. Yet.
Last month was Ryan's birthday. I know I'm not supposed to talk about him. Everyone I know has told me not to talk about him. And it's not like I mention him every day. In fact, I rarely mention him at all anymore. But this was the first birthday since high school that we did not at least talk to each other. It was not always possible to spend any time together on our birthdays, but if nothing else, at least we talked on the phone. This year, nothing.
This month is my birthday. I need to find something to do to keep my mind off it. I'm not always a big celebrator on my birthday. Sometimes I will go out to dinner. We had a surprise party last year, but I knew about it. Sometimes my birthday is on Thanksgiving, but not this year. I think that might be a few years away.
Last month was Ryan's birthday. I know I'm not supposed to talk about him. Everyone I know has told me not to talk about him. And it's not like I mention him every day. In fact, I rarely mention him at all anymore. But this was the first birthday since high school that we did not at least talk to each other. It was not always possible to spend any time together on our birthdays, but if nothing else, at least we talked on the phone. This year, nothing.
This month is my birthday. I need to find something to do to keep my mind off it. I'm not always a big celebrator on my birthday. Sometimes I will go out to dinner. We had a surprise party last year, but I knew about it. Sometimes my birthday is on Thanksgiving, but not this year. I think that might be a few years away.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
In a Crowd On My Own
When I started this blog, I told myself that I would always be honest. Maybe I would not talk about every little detail of every little thing, but whatever I did mention, I would do so without holding back. If I'm going to talk about something, I might as well expose the good, the bad and the ugly. But sometimes I simply don't want to talk about it.
When I went to Paris in March, I had Ryan's full support. He recognized that it was a unique opportunity and he wanted me to go. As soon as I was in Paris, he wanted me to leave. We talked on the phone and Skype every day, but he did not approve of where I was and what I was doing. I reminded him that he had wanted me to go, but you can't really bring up things like facts during an argument. They only upset people. While Lily and her boyfriend talked and did things on the computer that are definitely not safe for work, Ryan and I argued.
One of Ryan's many complaints was that there was no way we were going to see each other in person while I was there. In Hong Kong, I can hop on a flight and see him in a few hours. We used to see each other about once a month when he moved to Fuzhou, but we were making an effort to see each other more just before April. While I was in Paris, it was going to be at least a full month before I would get on any plane to China.
About a week after I came back to Hong Kong, he came over for a brief visit. More often than not, I went to him. He usually only came here on holidays. But after taking a full month off from work, I was not really in the best position to get anymore time off.
While he was here, we argued and broke up. Then we got back together again. That might have been just for the make up sex. When you have not seen each other in about eight weeks, a little physical activity is always a good thing, whether you are in fighting mode or not.
As soon as we got that out of our systems, we broke up again. He went back to Fuzhou and I went to work. We both knew there would be no make up sex this time. It was the first time he ever went to Fuzhou and I was not on the phone with him that same night. That was unusual. I did not know when or if I would ever talk to him again.
A few weeks later, his mother told me that he moved back to Minnesota. I was almost shocked, but expected it at the same time. He always said that he was staying in China for me. About a year after we moved to Hong Kong, he wanted to go back and I wanted to stay. He never liked living in Hong Kong and only barely tolerated Fuzhou. In a way, it was flattering to know that he really was only in China for me. At the same time, that only caused more problems.
We had a few things working against us. As soon as he moved to Fuzhou, we were in a long distance relationship. Hong Kong and Fuzhou are not that far apart, but they are practically in different countries and require all of the hassles of airports and immigration control to get from one to the other.
I always made more money than Ryan. Too many men feel threatened by that sort of thing. In Hong Kong, we lived on my salary. In Fuzhou, he made enough to survive, but I paid for more of our trips than he ever could. The cost of living is low enough in Fuzhou that he could have saved money if he tried, but he never put in the effort.
Then there is sex. When he lived in Fuzhou, he was not getting any. Despite everything, I do not believe that he ever cheated on me. He was terrified of catching some horrible disease, so prostitutes and bar girls were out, and most of the healthy girls in the area were the type who would never give an underemployed foreigner the time of day. Had we been older, it might not have mattered. But we moved to Hong Kong when he was 20 years old. That's not an age where guys like to be celibate.
Everyone said that we were too young to live together when we got our first apartment, but it was living apart that finally ended our relationship.
Ryan and I met in high school. We were together long before Hong Kong, before I started traveling to so many great places, before I met Lily. We were together before my career started to go somewhere. We were together before I even had a career. We were together before we were old enough to drink alcohol or vote. In a lot of ways, we grew up together.
If I look at it philosophically, it was inevitable. Our personalities were maturing in different ways. I have career goals and a list of places I want to visit where I can explore the culture, meet new people and eat great food. His goals are to become a rock star and get drunk every night. When he lived in Fuzhou, he worked at a bar. That was never going to be great for anyone.
As Lily says, “Shit happens.” I try to see the silver lining and deal with whatever is happening in the most positive way I can figure out. She has an innate ability to cut through all the bullshit. This might be why we are such great friends. I am the yang to her yin.
The last time I broke up with a boyfriend, I was in high school. In retrospect, I don't think I took it very well. But I did not really know how to take it. I was a teenager. By definition, I did not know what was going on.
This time, I like to think I had more tools at my disposal. For example, in high school, I was a mediocre cook. Now, I can whip up mint brownies, double chocolate chip cookies, banana muffins, lemon cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, cinnamon rolls with the same cream cheese frosting – if it works, use it – and all kinds of unhealthy things that require an extra jog or two around the island. Maybe that is not the best way to handle things, but when I found fresh mint for the first time in years, I was as happy as I could be. I don't know why it is so hard to get some of the most basic herbs around here.
Aside from eating too much junk food, I work at Disneyland. More than a few people have had more than a few bad things to say about that company as an employer, but they have been good to me. Walking into the happiest place on Earth every day, or at least the happiest place south of Japan, is a great way to boost your spirits. Say what you will about Mickey, but no one is depressed around that giant rodent.
When I went to Paris in March, I had Ryan's full support. He recognized that it was a unique opportunity and he wanted me to go. As soon as I was in Paris, he wanted me to leave. We talked on the phone and Skype every day, but he did not approve of where I was and what I was doing. I reminded him that he had wanted me to go, but you can't really bring up things like facts during an argument. They only upset people. While Lily and her boyfriend talked and did things on the computer that are definitely not safe for work, Ryan and I argued.
One of Ryan's many complaints was that there was no way we were going to see each other in person while I was there. In Hong Kong, I can hop on a flight and see him in a few hours. We used to see each other about once a month when he moved to Fuzhou, but we were making an effort to see each other more just before April. While I was in Paris, it was going to be at least a full month before I would get on any plane to China.
About a week after I came back to Hong Kong, he came over for a brief visit. More often than not, I went to him. He usually only came here on holidays. But after taking a full month off from work, I was not really in the best position to get anymore time off.
While he was here, we argued and broke up. Then we got back together again. That might have been just for the make up sex. When you have not seen each other in about eight weeks, a little physical activity is always a good thing, whether you are in fighting mode or not.
As soon as we got that out of our systems, we broke up again. He went back to Fuzhou and I went to work. We both knew there would be no make up sex this time. It was the first time he ever went to Fuzhou and I was not on the phone with him that same night. That was unusual. I did not know when or if I would ever talk to him again.
A few weeks later, his mother told me that he moved back to Minnesota. I was almost shocked, but expected it at the same time. He always said that he was staying in China for me. About a year after we moved to Hong Kong, he wanted to go back and I wanted to stay. He never liked living in Hong Kong and only barely tolerated Fuzhou. In a way, it was flattering to know that he really was only in China for me. At the same time, that only caused more problems.
We had a few things working against us. As soon as he moved to Fuzhou, we were in a long distance relationship. Hong Kong and Fuzhou are not that far apart, but they are practically in different countries and require all of the hassles of airports and immigration control to get from one to the other.
I always made more money than Ryan. Too many men feel threatened by that sort of thing. In Hong Kong, we lived on my salary. In Fuzhou, he made enough to survive, but I paid for more of our trips than he ever could. The cost of living is low enough in Fuzhou that he could have saved money if he tried, but he never put in the effort.
Then there is sex. When he lived in Fuzhou, he was not getting any. Despite everything, I do not believe that he ever cheated on me. He was terrified of catching some horrible disease, so prostitutes and bar girls were out, and most of the healthy girls in the area were the type who would never give an underemployed foreigner the time of day. Had we been older, it might not have mattered. But we moved to Hong Kong when he was 20 years old. That's not an age where guys like to be celibate.
Everyone said that we were too young to live together when we got our first apartment, but it was living apart that finally ended our relationship.
Ryan and I met in high school. We were together long before Hong Kong, before I started traveling to so many great places, before I met Lily. We were together before my career started to go somewhere. We were together before I even had a career. We were together before we were old enough to drink alcohol or vote. In a lot of ways, we grew up together.
If I look at it philosophically, it was inevitable. Our personalities were maturing in different ways. I have career goals and a list of places I want to visit where I can explore the culture, meet new people and eat great food. His goals are to become a rock star and get drunk every night. When he lived in Fuzhou, he worked at a bar. That was never going to be great for anyone.
As Lily says, “Shit happens.” I try to see the silver lining and deal with whatever is happening in the most positive way I can figure out. She has an innate ability to cut through all the bullshit. This might be why we are such great friends. I am the yang to her yin.
The last time I broke up with a boyfriend, I was in high school. In retrospect, I don't think I took it very well. But I did not really know how to take it. I was a teenager. By definition, I did not know what was going on.
This time, I like to think I had more tools at my disposal. For example, in high school, I was a mediocre cook. Now, I can whip up mint brownies, double chocolate chip cookies, banana muffins, lemon cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, cinnamon rolls with the same cream cheese frosting – if it works, use it – and all kinds of unhealthy things that require an extra jog or two around the island. Maybe that is not the best way to handle things, but when I found fresh mint for the first time in years, I was as happy as I could be. I don't know why it is so hard to get some of the most basic herbs around here.
Aside from eating too much junk food, I work at Disneyland. More than a few people have had more than a few bad things to say about that company as an employer, but they have been good to me. Walking into the happiest place on Earth every day, or at least the happiest place south of Japan, is a great way to boost your spirits. Say what you will about Mickey, but no one is depressed around that giant rodent.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
An American in Paris part 4
This Paris trip will definitely interfere with my micro trips to Fuzhou. Ryan does not mind. He recognizes that the Paris trip is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We almost went to Paris when we went to Rome, so he knows how much I want to go. Getting paid to go there is even better, as far as he is concerned.
Of course, this means we will not see each other for a month. Even longer when you include time before and after the trip. He can't exactly come out to visit me while I'm there, so we have to go back to talking on Skype and the phone instead of seeing each in person. We have done that before, so I'm sure we will survive. Ryan's biggest fear, he says, is that I will never want to come back. If I stay in Paris permanently, it would be a lot harder for us to see each other. I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. I like the idea of living in Paris, but I don't like the idea of being homeless there and eating out of garbage cans. My job is in Hong Kong. I doubt anyone is going to offer me a permanent gig in Paris.
Lily is another story. She is not at all used to being away from Kevin. They have never lived in different cities, let alone different countries. It will be harder for her to stay celibate for a month than it will for me. Kevin worries that she will find some charming French guy who sweeps her off her feet. I think that is about as likely as Ryan's fear that I will stay in Paris. Lily and Kevin have been together for a very long time. It will take more than some stud with an accent to steal her away. But I suppose a temporary tryst is not out of the question. Maybe if her Paris stud has a friend, I will not have to tell Kevin about it.
That's also a joke, obviously. He would have to have a friend and give me a job in Paris to keep me quiet.
Of course, this means we will not see each other for a month. Even longer when you include time before and after the trip. He can't exactly come out to visit me while I'm there, so we have to go back to talking on Skype and the phone instead of seeing each in person. We have done that before, so I'm sure we will survive. Ryan's biggest fear, he says, is that I will never want to come back. If I stay in Paris permanently, it would be a lot harder for us to see each other. I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. I like the idea of living in Paris, but I don't like the idea of being homeless there and eating out of garbage cans. My job is in Hong Kong. I doubt anyone is going to offer me a permanent gig in Paris.
Lily is another story. She is not at all used to being away from Kevin. They have never lived in different cities, let alone different countries. It will be harder for her to stay celibate for a month than it will for me. Kevin worries that she will find some charming French guy who sweeps her off her feet. I think that is about as likely as Ryan's fear that I will stay in Paris. Lily and Kevin have been together for a very long time. It will take more than some stud with an accent to steal her away. But I suppose a temporary tryst is not out of the question. Maybe if her Paris stud has a friend, I will not have to tell Kevin about it.
That's also a joke, obviously. He would have to have a friend and give me a job in Paris to keep me quiet.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Fuzhou Trip part 3
The trip was great, mostly, and the hotel was very nice. We got a better than average good hotel because it was either that or a really cheap hotel, or stay at his house with all of his roommates. The hotel made it noticeably different from my first trip to Fuzhou. Privacy is a wonderful and rare thing on this side of the world.
Mainland China is always a strange place to go to. Even though I live in Hong Kong, I still think of China as a different country. They are technically the same, but they are very different in a lot of ways, like living in New York and visiting Kansas. Except you need a visa and the money is different.
For this trip, we spent a lot less time sightseeing. Ryan showed me all the main attractions in Fuzhou the first time. This trip was about spending time with each other.
We also got in a big fight, mostly because we never really see each other anymore. When Ryan moved to Mainland China, I thought it would be for a few months and then he would come back to Hong Kong. That was 15 months ago. He is obviously not coming back any time soon. He makes more money there and, even though he does not particularly like living in China, he likes it better than Hong Kong. I could never do my job in China, so moving to him is out.
Since he left, we have taken a couple of vacations together. I have gone to Fuzhou and he has come to Hong Kong, but we usually go months without seeing each other in person. We talk on the phone and Skype all the time, but it is not the same. So we decided we need to make more of an effort. We are not old enough to have a long distance relationship without physical contact for months at a time. We are both in our prime. We need to touch and be touched.
Ryan just might be the only foreigner in China who does not have a thing for Chinese girls, but if two months ever turns into six months, there is no way he will be able to hold out. He is at that age where a car commercial can give him an erection. I'm not much better. Car commercials don't do it for me, but I want some sweaty monkey action just as much as he does. The difference is that it would be easier for me to cheat on him than for him to cheat on me. I have more options. That and the lack of sex scares the hockey sticks out of him.
So we decided to make more of an effort and see each other more often. It does not have to be a vacation or a week in Hong Kong or Fuzhou. Even just a day or two is better than nothing. Flights between our cities are short and not expensive. He can come here without a visa and I have a multiple entry visa to go there. I just need to get a new one before it expires. Getting a visa to Mainland China is actually a lot easier than people think.
We have not decided when we will see each other again, but it is definitely his turn to come here.
Mainland China is always a strange place to go to. Even though I live in Hong Kong, I still think of China as a different country. They are technically the same, but they are very different in a lot of ways, like living in New York and visiting Kansas. Except you need a visa and the money is different.
For this trip, we spent a lot less time sightseeing. Ryan showed me all the main attractions in Fuzhou the first time. This trip was about spending time with each other.
We also got in a big fight, mostly because we never really see each other anymore. When Ryan moved to Mainland China, I thought it would be for a few months and then he would come back to Hong Kong. That was 15 months ago. He is obviously not coming back any time soon. He makes more money there and, even though he does not particularly like living in China, he likes it better than Hong Kong. I could never do my job in China, so moving to him is out.
Since he left, we have taken a couple of vacations together. I have gone to Fuzhou and he has come to Hong Kong, but we usually go months without seeing each other in person. We talk on the phone and Skype all the time, but it is not the same. So we decided we need to make more of an effort. We are not old enough to have a long distance relationship without physical contact for months at a time. We are both in our prime. We need to touch and be touched.
Ryan just might be the only foreigner in China who does not have a thing for Chinese girls, but if two months ever turns into six months, there is no way he will be able to hold out. He is at that age where a car commercial can give him an erection. I'm not much better. Car commercials don't do it for me, but I want some sweaty monkey action just as much as he does. The difference is that it would be easier for me to cheat on him than for him to cheat on me. I have more options. That and the lack of sex scares the hockey sticks out of him.
So we decided to make more of an effort and see each other more often. It does not have to be a vacation or a week in Hong Kong or Fuzhou. Even just a day or two is better than nothing. Flights between our cities are short and not expensive. He can come here without a visa and I have a multiple entry visa to go there. I just need to get a new one before it expires. Getting a visa to Mainland China is actually a lot easier than people think.
We have not decided when we will see each other again, but it is definitely his turn to come here.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Summer Highlights part 1
The best part of summer for me was having Ryan back in town. We had not seen each other since the cruise and that was all the way back in June. Seeing him in Hong Kong is much easier. There is none of the stress of booking tickets and dealing with airports, and we do not spend much time seeing the sights here like we would on a trip. He has seen as much of Hong Kong as he wants to see, so that meant more time for us in that wonderful Clear Water Bay house. That meant loads and loads of steamy hot cuddle bunny time. That's something we can always agree on.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Lily's Revenge Ideas
Lily came back to Hong Kong and we had a lot to talk about – her father’s health, this year’s Christmas show, my boyfriend getting a hand job from a Chinese prostitute – the usual.
Her father is doing well. The doctors say he will fully recover and be good as new in no time. He has to change his diet and start living a healthy lifestyle, but everyone should anyway.
The Christmas show is going to be “bigger and better than ever” this year. They always say that. Disneyland has special shows for Christmas, Chinese New Year, Halloween and summer. Each one is always supposed to be better than the last. Personally, I think Celebration in the Air started strong, but it got kind of routine after a while.
Lily & I were by ourselves at home drinking a little too much. I’m not a big drinker, but sometimes a drink or two at the end of a long week isn’t such a bad thing. A friend gave Lily a bottle of wine and we destroyed it. We’re both relatively thin – by American standards – though giants in China, and we hadn’t eaten in a while. We got tipsy pretty fast.
I told her about Ryan’s Chinese hand job massage. The more I talked about it, the more upset I got. I was ready to kick that whore’s ass, even though I have no idea who or where she is and I’m not a fighter at all. If I punched someone, I would probably hurt myself more than her.
Lily suggested we go to China and castrate Ryan in his sleep, but I thought that might be a bit too extreme. I wasn’t blaming Ryan. I was blaming the whore. I would miss Ryan’s dick far too much to do such a thing. Lily said I could keep it in a jar. This was all the wine talking. We would never do anything like that. So far.
I asked Lily what she would do if it were Kevin and she said castrate him in his sleep. So I set up a scenario for her. Let’s say Kevin is getting a normal harmless massage and suddenly she grabs his dick. How could he stop it before it happened? He’s a foreigner in China. He doesn’t know which places are legitimate and which are full of whores. I don’t know how you can tell the difference if you don’t really know the culture well. Barely speaking the language probably doesn’t help either.
Lily had to agree with me that it was the whore’s fault more than Ryan’s, but still thought Ryan should be punished. We tossed around a few ideas, some less realistic than others. We were also tossing back drinks at the time.
Lily suggested I tell Ryan that I got a massage from a guy who touched me in ways that would make Ryan’s head explode. I killed that idea with the obvious point that I would never do that, and Ryan knows it. He would never believe that I would let a strange man touch me like that.
Lily’s best idea was that we set up another massage appointment in Fuzhou for Ryan, but instead of a girl doing it, we make sure it’s a man. The last thing Ryan wants is some guy giving him a full body massage. Even a legitimate massage from a legitimate masseur would freak him out. But we couldn’t figure out how to arrange it. Even sober, I have no idea how to make something like that work. We don’t know who to call or where to go. It would be far too much effort for practically no reward.
Lily’s easiest idea was that we take a picture of me grabbing Kevin’s dick and send it to Ryan. The downside is that Ryan and Kevin’s friendship would be over. And there would be a picture out there of me grabbing a dick. That might not be the best thing for my career. I could also see myself sitting alone on the sofa while Lily & Kevin are in the bedroom after I got him hard. How is that revenge? It’s great for them, but it doesn’t do me any good.
Speaking of whores, I don’t take issue with the way the whore in Fuzhou makes her living. Everybody has to do what they have to do to survive. This is not a fair world, and if you’re born on the lowest rung of the ladder, moving up will never be easy. Having said that, there must be thousands of foreigners in China, and millions of locals, who would be more than happy to get a little tug at the end of their massage. Just stay the hell away from my boyfriend.
Her father is doing well. The doctors say he will fully recover and be good as new in no time. He has to change his diet and start living a healthy lifestyle, but everyone should anyway.
The Christmas show is going to be “bigger and better than ever” this year. They always say that. Disneyland has special shows for Christmas, Chinese New Year, Halloween and summer. Each one is always supposed to be better than the last. Personally, I think Celebration in the Air started strong, but it got kind of routine after a while.
Lily & I were by ourselves at home drinking a little too much. I’m not a big drinker, but sometimes a drink or two at the end of a long week isn’t such a bad thing. A friend gave Lily a bottle of wine and we destroyed it. We’re both relatively thin – by American standards – though giants in China, and we hadn’t eaten in a while. We got tipsy pretty fast.
I told her about Ryan’s Chinese hand job massage. The more I talked about it, the more upset I got. I was ready to kick that whore’s ass, even though I have no idea who or where she is and I’m not a fighter at all. If I punched someone, I would probably hurt myself more than her.
Lily suggested we go to China and castrate Ryan in his sleep, but I thought that might be a bit too extreme. I wasn’t blaming Ryan. I was blaming the whore. I would miss Ryan’s dick far too much to do such a thing. Lily said I could keep it in a jar. This was all the wine talking. We would never do anything like that. So far.
I asked Lily what she would do if it were Kevin and she said castrate him in his sleep. So I set up a scenario for her. Let’s say Kevin is getting a normal harmless massage and suddenly she grabs his dick. How could he stop it before it happened? He’s a foreigner in China. He doesn’t know which places are legitimate and which are full of whores. I don’t know how you can tell the difference if you don’t really know the culture well. Barely speaking the language probably doesn’t help either.
Lily had to agree with me that it was the whore’s fault more than Ryan’s, but still thought Ryan should be punished. We tossed around a few ideas, some less realistic than others. We were also tossing back drinks at the time.
Lily suggested I tell Ryan that I got a massage from a guy who touched me in ways that would make Ryan’s head explode. I killed that idea with the obvious point that I would never do that, and Ryan knows it. He would never believe that I would let a strange man touch me like that.
Lily’s best idea was that we set up another massage appointment in Fuzhou for Ryan, but instead of a girl doing it, we make sure it’s a man. The last thing Ryan wants is some guy giving him a full body massage. Even a legitimate massage from a legitimate masseur would freak him out. But we couldn’t figure out how to arrange it. Even sober, I have no idea how to make something like that work. We don’t know who to call or where to go. It would be far too much effort for practically no reward.
Lily’s easiest idea was that we take a picture of me grabbing Kevin’s dick and send it to Ryan. The downside is that Ryan and Kevin’s friendship would be over. And there would be a picture out there of me grabbing a dick. That might not be the best thing for my career. I could also see myself sitting alone on the sofa while Lily & Kevin are in the bedroom after I got him hard. How is that revenge? It’s great for them, but it doesn’t do me any good.
Speaking of whores, I don’t take issue with the way the whore in Fuzhou makes her living. Everybody has to do what they have to do to survive. This is not a fair world, and if you’re born on the lowest rung of the ladder, moving up will never be easy. Having said that, there must be thousands of foreigners in China, and millions of locals, who would be more than happy to get a little tug at the end of their massage. Just stay the hell away from my boyfriend.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Ryan’s Massage Day part 2
Ryan’s Massage Day part 1
Ryan was comparing his massage experience to mine, but I pointed out that things in Hong Kong and Fuzhou are sometimes very different. You would think they’re the same country, but they’re often not. In some ways, they might as well be different cultures. He was also a first time customer at a place he’d never been to before, and I go to my place all the time. Everybody there recognizes me and I know most of their names. My primary masseuse is a personal friend of mine.
He still seemed upset and eventually told me that the girl giving him his massage also gave him a hand job. He said it happened before he knew what was happening. When she was rubbing his legs while he was on his stomach, her hands sometimes went a little higher than he expected, but he thought it was just an accident. With the towel on, you can’t really tell where the legs end and the butt begins. When he was on his back, she had the same accident, but it quickly went from accidentally grazing his balls to full on grabbing his dick. He says he stopped her before it went too far, but I think it already went too far.
I was beyond upset when he told me, but the more I think about it, the more I believe his side of the story. First of all, he doesn’t have a thing for Chinese girls. Plenty of foreign men here do. That might be why a great many of them come here. But Ryan’s type is taller, paler, less conservative, more independent, with larger breasts. Essentially me. He thinks all Chinese hookers have AIDS. Some of them must, but the way the Chinese government handles things, we’ll never know any real statistics.
Ryan is a breast man and hates implants. He says they feel like rocks, even though he’s never actually felt any. I’m no Jane Russell, but bigger than the typical Chinese girl. His Chinese is terrible. I guess that doesn’t matter with hookers, but Ryan likes to talk during sex and he would hate knowing that the girl he’s talking to doesn’t understand a word he’s saying. He’s a man, so he thinks whatever he’s saying is important.
More importantly, he told me about it. He didn’t have to. I would have never found out. I’m not friends with his friends in Fuzhou, and he’s pretty much let go of his Hong Kong friendships. He could tell all of his band mates in China and none of them would ever tell me. They’d probably all say “bros before hoes”, high five each other and scratch their crotches. If he’s cheating on me, there’s no way he would tell me about this.
I’m still upset that some Chinese whore grabbed my boyfriend’s dick, but I suppose it could have been worse. He felt guilty about it and said he went home and took a long shower. He’s too paranoid about getting diseases from a hand job to cheat on me.
At least now I know why it was so expensive. A real massage in Fuzhou probably costs a lot less. The next time he gets a massage, he’s going with me.
Ryan was comparing his massage experience to mine, but I pointed out that things in Hong Kong and Fuzhou are sometimes very different. You would think they’re the same country, but they’re often not. In some ways, they might as well be different cultures. He was also a first time customer at a place he’d never been to before, and I go to my place all the time. Everybody there recognizes me and I know most of their names. My primary masseuse is a personal friend of mine.
He still seemed upset and eventually told me that the girl giving him his massage also gave him a hand job. He said it happened before he knew what was happening. When she was rubbing his legs while he was on his stomach, her hands sometimes went a little higher than he expected, but he thought it was just an accident. With the towel on, you can’t really tell where the legs end and the butt begins. When he was on his back, she had the same accident, but it quickly went from accidentally grazing his balls to full on grabbing his dick. He says he stopped her before it went too far, but I think it already went too far.
I was beyond upset when he told me, but the more I think about it, the more I believe his side of the story. First of all, he doesn’t have a thing for Chinese girls. Plenty of foreign men here do. That might be why a great many of them come here. But Ryan’s type is taller, paler, less conservative, more independent, with larger breasts. Essentially me. He thinks all Chinese hookers have AIDS. Some of them must, but the way the Chinese government handles things, we’ll never know any real statistics.
Ryan is a breast man and hates implants. He says they feel like rocks, even though he’s never actually felt any. I’m no Jane Russell, but bigger than the typical Chinese girl. His Chinese is terrible. I guess that doesn’t matter with hookers, but Ryan likes to talk during sex and he would hate knowing that the girl he’s talking to doesn’t understand a word he’s saying. He’s a man, so he thinks whatever he’s saying is important.
More importantly, he told me about it. He didn’t have to. I would have never found out. I’m not friends with his friends in Fuzhou, and he’s pretty much let go of his Hong Kong friendships. He could tell all of his band mates in China and none of them would ever tell me. They’d probably all say “bros before hoes”, high five each other and scratch their crotches. If he’s cheating on me, there’s no way he would tell me about this.
I’m still upset that some Chinese whore grabbed my boyfriend’s dick, but I suppose it could have been worse. He felt guilty about it and said he went home and took a long shower. He’s too paranoid about getting diseases from a hand job to cheat on me.
At least now I know why it was so expensive. A real massage in Fuzhou probably costs a lot less. The next time he gets a massage, he’s going with me.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Ryan’s Massage Day part 1
I get foot massages at least twice a month, sometimes three times. It’s more than a foot massage. They also do my legs, but they call it a foot massage. The main part for me is the leg massage. My friend, Amy, is the one doing the actual massage. She knows what I like and she knows to concentrate on my legs more than my feet. Sometimes I get my shoulders done and I’ve had a few full body massages, but it’s mostly my legs and feet. After dancing all day in Belle’s big yellow dress – which is not light, let me tell you – or some funky Aladdin pants, my legs need a good rub down. When I talk to Ryan right after I’ve had a massage, I always tell him how great it is. Whenever he complains about being sore or tense, I tell him to get a massage.
Ryan is a guy. So going to spas is out of the question. Real men don’t get facials, and have you ever seen a man at a hair salon? I’m sure some do somewhere in the world, but not where I’m from. Minnesota men wash their hair with rocks and comb it with wagon wheels. Maybe not that extreme, but they’re never girly about hair maintenance. It took me a while to convince Ryan that getting a massage will in no way emasculate him and that working out those sore muscles might even feel good.
Unfortunately, I don’t know any places in Fuzhou. I have a regular place in Hong Kong where Amy works her magic on me, but I can’t recommend any place in the rest of China. I can’t even recommend a place in the rest of Hong Kong. The people Ryan hangs out with are not the spa treatment types, so they were no help. When I finally convinced Ryan to go get a massage, he was on his own.
When he came back from his first Chinese massage, maybe even his first professional massage ever, he asked me a lot of questions. He wanted to know what I wear when I’m getting a massage, what exactly they do and how much it all costs. I didn’t want to tell him how much it costs since I really don’t want him to know how much money I spend pampering myself. It’s not a great deal of money, but it is a luxury. My legs work hard for a living and they deserve a good massage, but I could live without it.
His massage was more expensive, which surprised me since everything is cheaper on the mainland. Then again, I get legs and feet, while he got full body. It should cost more, but I was still surprised by how much more. You also have to consider that foreigners usually pay a higher price for everything in China. I don’t get ripped off where I go, but that might only be because I’m a regular customer. Maybe it’s because I know how to haggle. If you buy anything for the initial price in China, you will get robbed.
When I get a leg massage, I either take off my pants or just lift my skirt a little. I’m not anything close to naked, and fully clothed from the waist up. I get topless when they do my shoulders, but they have towels for modesty. Ryan was surprised that they wanted him to get fully naked, but I told him that’s normal for a full body massage. The towel covers your butt and it’s a lot easier for them to oil you up. You don’t want clothes on when you’re getting an oil massage.
He wanted to know how they rub the muscles and what they do, so I told him. It probably takes a long time to learn how to be a really good masseuse, but the basic concept is pretty simple – work the muscles until they are not as tense.
Ryan is a guy. So going to spas is out of the question. Real men don’t get facials, and have you ever seen a man at a hair salon? I’m sure some do somewhere in the world, but not where I’m from. Minnesota men wash their hair with rocks and comb it with wagon wheels. Maybe not that extreme, but they’re never girly about hair maintenance. It took me a while to convince Ryan that getting a massage will in no way emasculate him and that working out those sore muscles might even feel good.
Unfortunately, I don’t know any places in Fuzhou. I have a regular place in Hong Kong where Amy works her magic on me, but I can’t recommend any place in the rest of China. I can’t even recommend a place in the rest of Hong Kong. The people Ryan hangs out with are not the spa treatment types, so they were no help. When I finally convinced Ryan to go get a massage, he was on his own.
When he came back from his first Chinese massage, maybe even his first professional massage ever, he asked me a lot of questions. He wanted to know what I wear when I’m getting a massage, what exactly they do and how much it all costs. I didn’t want to tell him how much it costs since I really don’t want him to know how much money I spend pampering myself. It’s not a great deal of money, but it is a luxury. My legs work hard for a living and they deserve a good massage, but I could live without it.
His massage was more expensive, which surprised me since everything is cheaper on the mainland. Then again, I get legs and feet, while he got full body. It should cost more, but I was still surprised by how much more. You also have to consider that foreigners usually pay a higher price for everything in China. I don’t get ripped off where I go, but that might only be because I’m a regular customer. Maybe it’s because I know how to haggle. If you buy anything for the initial price in China, you will get robbed.
When I get a leg massage, I either take off my pants or just lift my skirt a little. I’m not anything close to naked, and fully clothed from the waist up. I get topless when they do my shoulders, but they have towels for modesty. Ryan was surprised that they wanted him to get fully naked, but I told him that’s normal for a full body massage. The towel covers your butt and it’s a lot easier for them to oil you up. You don’t want clothes on when you’re getting an oil massage.
He wanted to know how they rub the muscles and what they do, so I told him. It probably takes a long time to learn how to be a really good masseuse, but the basic concept is pretty simple – work the muscles until they are not as tense.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Ryan in China Again part 8
I spent last night at my apartment because I had to go to work early today. Lily & Kevin stayed at the big house, so I was alone in the apartment.
The only internet connection is in the tiny dining room area. It’s not really a dining room. It’s part of the living room that’s a little off to the side. It has a separate light from the living room, so it seems like it’s supposed to be a dining room. That’s where the only internet plug is, so that’s where we use our computers. There’s no privacy in the dining room. Usually when I’m talking to Ryan on Skype, there’s someone else in the room, or at least in the living room.
No one else was in the apartment last night and none of Ryan’s roommates were around, so we actually had some privacy while talking. That’s pretty rare around here. After a while in Hong Kong, you get used to not having as much privacy. Last night was an exception.
We haven’t seen each other in over a month, except on Skype. We haven’t touched each other in over a month. It’s nice to talk on the phone, and sometimes the Skype connection is good enough that we can see each other and understand what we’re saying.
Taking all that into consideration, it seemed like a good time to do a little dance for Ryan. I gave him a full striptease. I know he liked it because I could see his hand moving around off screen. I couldn’t see him below the waist, but I could tell. Unless he was vigorously scratching his balls for several minutes.
I seriously doubt the Chinese government was watching. I’m sure they have better things to do than monitor communications from some American band in China talking to their girlfriends in Hong Kong. There are over a billion people in China. No one can watch everybody all the time.
But if they were watching, they got a pretty good show. If I do say so myself.
The only internet connection is in the tiny dining room area. It’s not really a dining room. It’s part of the living room that’s a little off to the side. It has a separate light from the living room, so it seems like it’s supposed to be a dining room. That’s where the only internet plug is, so that’s where we use our computers. There’s no privacy in the dining room. Usually when I’m talking to Ryan on Skype, there’s someone else in the room, or at least in the living room.
No one else was in the apartment last night and none of Ryan’s roommates were around, so we actually had some privacy while talking. That’s pretty rare around here. After a while in Hong Kong, you get used to not having as much privacy. Last night was an exception.
We haven’t seen each other in over a month, except on Skype. We haven’t touched each other in over a month. It’s nice to talk on the phone, and sometimes the Skype connection is good enough that we can see each other and understand what we’re saying.
Taking all that into consideration, it seemed like a good time to do a little dance for Ryan. I gave him a full striptease. I know he liked it because I could see his hand moving around off screen. I couldn’t see him below the waist, but I could tell. Unless he was vigorously scratching his balls for several minutes.
I seriously doubt the Chinese government was watching. I’m sure they have better things to do than monitor communications from some American band in China talking to their girlfriends in Hong Kong. There are over a billion people in China. No one can watch everybody all the time.
But if they were watching, they got a pretty good show. If I do say so myself.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Ryan in China Again part 7
Ryan & I were talking on Skype and I started to do a little striptease for him. We haven’t touched each other in a month. That’s a record for us, and we’re both pretty horny. We’ve never spent this much time apart and I’m really not sure how much more I can take. While I was stripping in front of the computer and doing a sexy little dance for my man, his connection went out. It was beyond frustrating. For both of us. I’m ready, willing and able to turn him on, but his Skype keeps turning off. I can only imagine what it was like for him. He was just about to see something good and then it all went black.
We talked on the phone like we always do when his internet goes out and I finished my striptease over the phone. It really wasn’t the same. It was more funny than sexy. Funny is good and I’m glad that we can laugh about these things, but he needs to see me naked from time to time. Just telling him I’m naked doesn’t do it for either of us.
We talked on the phone like we always do when his internet goes out and I finished my striptease over the phone. It really wasn’t the same. It was more funny than sexy. Funny is good and I’m glad that we can laugh about these things, but he needs to see me naked from time to time. Just telling him I’m naked doesn’t do it for either of us.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Ryan in China part 5
Ryan’s back in Hong Kong. He came back Monday. I made sure I had the day off so we could spend time together. I thought we were going to go out and do things, but we spent the whole day in bed – in bed, on the sofa, bent over the tiny kitchen counter, on the bathroom floor. Ryan even got to third base on the laundry balcony. It’s not the most private of balconies. The neighbors can see our laundry and we can see theirs. But I was just as horny as he was. We were ready to do it on the airport express between the airport and downtown, but self-control won the day. It’s never taken so long to get back to the apartment.
That was the longest week of our lives.
The club in China wants Ryan’s band to come back. I guess everyone liked having a band of foreigners there. I don’t want him to go. I don’t know if I can handle another celibate week, and they’re talking about staying even longer next time. The club pays significantly more than Disney, so everyone is thinking about it.
We need the money and I don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t think it’s fair that he has to go to basically another country just to make more money. We’re in Hong Kong. There are places for bands to play all over the place, and that’s the problem. There is far more competition in Hong Kong than in Fuzhou. Songs in English are nothing special here. Apparently, they go crazy for English-speaking bands that can actually speak English in Fuzhou.
That was the longest week of our lives.
The club in China wants Ryan’s band to come back. I guess everyone liked having a band of foreigners there. I don’t want him to go. I don’t know if I can handle another celibate week, and they’re talking about staying even longer next time. The club pays significantly more than Disney, so everyone is thinking about it.
We need the money and I don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t think it’s fair that he has to go to basically another country just to make more money. We’re in Hong Kong. There are places for bands to play all over the place, and that’s the problem. There is far more competition in Hong Kong than in Fuzhou. Songs in English are nothing special here. Apparently, they go crazy for English-speaking bands that can actually speak English in Fuzhou.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Ryan in China part 4
It might seem like I’m getting used to living alone, but I really don’t like it. I want Ryan to come back immediately. I know it’s only been a week, but it feels like forever.
We talk every day on the phone – usually 2 times a day, but it’s just not the same. I can’t feel him or see him. I miss the warmth of his body against mine. I miss feeling his arms around me. I miss feeling him on top of me – or under me, or behind me – I’ll take anything at this point.
Did I mention I’m really horny? It seems like I haven’t gotten laid in ages. I need a man inside me. Specifically, my boyfriend. That’s what they’re for.
There’s a sex toy store in Minneapolis that has this kit where you can make your own rubber dildo. The guy puts his dick in this goo and it gets hard – the goo, not the dick. He should already be hard when he puts it in. It makes a mold of his erection which you then fill with another goo and, after a while, you’ve got a dildo just like your man. We joked about buying it, but we didn’t. I don’t use toys anyway and why play with a toy when I can play with the real thing anytime I want. It’s not like he ever says no. Now I wish we had bought it. At least then I’d have a replica of what I’m not getting.
Lily says I should just buy a run of the mill, non-custom dildo, but it’s not the same. I like the real thing. I also have absolutely no idea if there are any of those kinds of stores anywhere in Hong Kong. This is not the most sexually liberated place in the world. I read somewhere that Chinese men think about work 100 times as much as they think about sex. I think American men are the exact opposite.
I could always order something online, but by the time it got here Ryan would be back anyway.
I need my man to come home.
We talk every day on the phone – usually 2 times a day, but it’s just not the same. I can’t feel him or see him. I miss the warmth of his body against mine. I miss feeling his arms around me. I miss feeling him on top of me – or under me, or behind me – I’ll take anything at this point.
Did I mention I’m really horny? It seems like I haven’t gotten laid in ages. I need a man inside me. Specifically, my boyfriend. That’s what they’re for.
There’s a sex toy store in Minneapolis that has this kit where you can make your own rubber dildo. The guy puts his dick in this goo and it gets hard – the goo, not the dick. He should already be hard when he puts it in. It makes a mold of his erection which you then fill with another goo and, after a while, you’ve got a dildo just like your man. We joked about buying it, but we didn’t. I don’t use toys anyway and why play with a toy when I can play with the real thing anytime I want. It’s not like he ever says no. Now I wish we had bought it. At least then I’d have a replica of what I’m not getting.
Lily says I should just buy a run of the mill, non-custom dildo, but it’s not the same. I like the real thing. I also have absolutely no idea if there are any of those kinds of stores anywhere in Hong Kong. This is not the most sexually liberated place in the world. I read somewhere that Chinese men think about work 100 times as much as they think about sex. I think American men are the exact opposite.
I could always order something online, but by the time it got here Ryan would be back anyway.
I need my man to come home.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Yellow
I was headed to the bathroom and Ryan said he wanted me to pee on him. What the hockey sticks? That’s something we’ve never talked about before. I agreed to be more open about his sex fantasies, but what does urine have to do with sex? It’s waste. Your body’s getting rid of it for a reason.
At least he didn’t want to pee on me. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to handle that, and I’m a little worried that might be next on his to-do list.
I’ve seen him pee before. He’s a guy. There isn’t much they love more than to whip it out and show you how they can aim at targets and write words in the snow. I’m just not impressed by anyone’s ability to write in cursive. When we’re outdoors and he has to leak on a tree or something, I’m not patting him on the back and telling him how amazing it is that he can point and shoot. I’m mostly trying to stay away from him so he doesn’t get any on me.
Eventually, I agreed to pee on him, even though it’s kind of gross. It’s also pretty harmless. It doesn’t hurt me at all. I don’t see how it could hurt him. We were in the privacy of our apartment. If he wants me to squat over him in the middle of Nathan Road, that’s never going to happen. I had to go anyway and it was in the bathroom. If he wanted to do it on the bed or anywhere that’s hard to clean, I would have definitely said no. I’d make him clean it up, so he would never want to anyway. He’s good at making messes, but not so great at cleaning them.
This paragraph is the point of no return. I had to endure this, so the blog world has to read about it. If this sort of thing makes you want to vomit in your mouth, you might not want to read further. Not everything is for everybody.
Ryan took off all his clothes and lay down on the floor, as much as you can in our tiny bathroom. Hong Kong bathrooms are extra small and all tile, making them very easy to clean. You can literally hose down the entire bathroom with the shower head. There’s no carpet anywhere. I don’t think there’s carpet anywhere in Hong Kong.
I took off my panties, hiked up my skirt and straddled over him. I was going to take off my shirt, but he wanted me to leave it on. As much as he likes seeing me without my top on, he loves seeing me just bottomless even more. I don’t know of that’s a fetish or just a preference.
I had to go, but it took a little while at first. I’ve never peed on anyone before. He didn’t want me to get it on his face, so at least he doesn’t want to drink it. That would be too high on the gross scale for me.
I mostly peed on his chest and a little on his dick. It’s not like I can write my name or anything. He got hard as soon as it hit his dick. That didn’t surprise me in the least. It doesn’t take much to get Ryan hard. I’ve seen him get hard just from standing naked in front of a fan, but not too close, thankfully. A soft breeze literally made him hard.
He took a shower afterward. Thank heaven for small miracles. I was a little worried about that. I took a shower just from what got on my feet. I can’t imagine walking around the rest of the day without washing it off. He wanted to have sex in the shower, of course. He always does whenever we take a shower together, but our shower is barely big enough for one of us. We’ve had sex in the bathroom before, outside the shower, but it’s just too small and uncomfortable.
We didn’t talk about bodily fluids afterward. I’m hoping it’s just something he needed to get out of his system. It didn’t turn me on at all. It’s none of my business what kinky sex things other people do, but to me it just seems like an insult to get peed on. It’s as sexy as someone spitting on you. I really hope he doesn’t want to do that next.
So then I took my turn
Oh, what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow
At least he didn’t want to pee on me. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to handle that, and I’m a little worried that might be next on his to-do list.
I’ve seen him pee before. He’s a guy. There isn’t much they love more than to whip it out and show you how they can aim at targets and write words in the snow. I’m just not impressed by anyone’s ability to write in cursive. When we’re outdoors and he has to leak on a tree or something, I’m not patting him on the back and telling him how amazing it is that he can point and shoot. I’m mostly trying to stay away from him so he doesn’t get any on me.
Eventually, I agreed to pee on him, even though it’s kind of gross. It’s also pretty harmless. It doesn’t hurt me at all. I don’t see how it could hurt him. We were in the privacy of our apartment. If he wants me to squat over him in the middle of Nathan Road, that’s never going to happen. I had to go anyway and it was in the bathroom. If he wanted to do it on the bed or anywhere that’s hard to clean, I would have definitely said no. I’d make him clean it up, so he would never want to anyway. He’s good at making messes, but not so great at cleaning them.
This paragraph is the point of no return. I had to endure this, so the blog world has to read about it. If this sort of thing makes you want to vomit in your mouth, you might not want to read further. Not everything is for everybody.
Ryan took off all his clothes and lay down on the floor, as much as you can in our tiny bathroom. Hong Kong bathrooms are extra small and all tile, making them very easy to clean. You can literally hose down the entire bathroom with the shower head. There’s no carpet anywhere. I don’t think there’s carpet anywhere in Hong Kong.
I took off my panties, hiked up my skirt and straddled over him. I was going to take off my shirt, but he wanted me to leave it on. As much as he likes seeing me without my top on, he loves seeing me just bottomless even more. I don’t know of that’s a fetish or just a preference.
I had to go, but it took a little while at first. I’ve never peed on anyone before. He didn’t want me to get it on his face, so at least he doesn’t want to drink it. That would be too high on the gross scale for me.
I mostly peed on his chest and a little on his dick. It’s not like I can write my name or anything. He got hard as soon as it hit his dick. That didn’t surprise me in the least. It doesn’t take much to get Ryan hard. I’ve seen him get hard just from standing naked in front of a fan, but not too close, thankfully. A soft breeze literally made him hard.
He took a shower afterward. Thank heaven for small miracles. I was a little worried about that. I took a shower just from what got on my feet. I can’t imagine walking around the rest of the day without washing it off. He wanted to have sex in the shower, of course. He always does whenever we take a shower together, but our shower is barely big enough for one of us. We’ve had sex in the bathroom before, outside the shower, but it’s just too small and uncomfortable.
We didn’t talk about bodily fluids afterward. I’m hoping it’s just something he needed to get out of his system. It didn’t turn me on at all. It’s none of my business what kinky sex things other people do, but to me it just seems like an insult to get peed on. It’s as sexy as someone spitting on you. I really hope he doesn’t want to do that next.
So then I took my turn
Oh, what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Vanilla
Ryan’s decided to stay in Hong Kong on one condition – he wants me to be more open about what he called his “manly needs”. I always thought I was. I seldom say no to indoor private sex, unless I’m not interested. Every once in a while, I wake him up in the morning in a very special way that no man in the history of civilization has ever resisted. I usually let him pop his cork on whatever body part he wants. I’ve known a few people who find that objectionable, but I’ve never had a problem with it. Outside of your eyes, it washes off effortlessly. And avoiding your eyes is pretty easy. Eyelids were invented to avoid detritus. Even so, he apparently has a list of things he wants to try and he thinks I’m holding him back.
There might be some truth to that. I’m not a sexually freaky person. I’m what they call vanilla. I like committed, monogamous, heterosexual intercourse. I’ll try any position at least once, but I like privacy and comfort. Especially privacy. I’m not interested in being watched or watching other people. I’m not comfortable being naked around others. I don’t want to flash anybody. I’m afraid of being tied up or using mechanical devices. I have absolutely no desire to tie him up or use devices on him.
I understand where Ryan is coming from. He’s at his sexual peak for at least the next few years. He’s living in a far away, exotic land with indecipherable social mores. He has a steady paycheck coming in for the first time in his life. He gets hard at the drop of a hat. Pretty much anything arouses him. And he’s stuck here with me. I’m pretty boring, sexually. Don’t get me wrong, I like rubbing against naughty bits as much as the next repressed American. I get aroused pretty easily, too. I just have more self-control. I’ll never ask him to go down on me in a restaurant. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. But he would love it.
Ryan also had basically no sexual experience before me. I had a boyfriend when we first met. He only had his sore hand. Now that he has a lot more experience under his belt, he wants to try more and more exotic things. He’s in an experimental stage right now. I guess he’s on a sexual journey. I’m just not sure how far he wants to go, or how far I can go with him.
I’m really worried about this. The line I won’t cross is much closer than the line he won’t cross, wherever that is. Will he always want to try things I don’t like? Will I always be so stubborn? Will I have to go farther than I want to keep him? Will he have to hold himself back to keep me? Is this all just temporary? Most importantly, I want the name of whoever invented boyfriends. We need to talk.
There might be some truth to that. I’m not a sexually freaky person. I’m what they call vanilla. I like committed, monogamous, heterosexual intercourse. I’ll try any position at least once, but I like privacy and comfort. Especially privacy. I’m not interested in being watched or watching other people. I’m not comfortable being naked around others. I don’t want to flash anybody. I’m afraid of being tied up or using mechanical devices. I have absolutely no desire to tie him up or use devices on him.
I understand where Ryan is coming from. He’s at his sexual peak for at least the next few years. He’s living in a far away, exotic land with indecipherable social mores. He has a steady paycheck coming in for the first time in his life. He gets hard at the drop of a hat. Pretty much anything arouses him. And he’s stuck here with me. I’m pretty boring, sexually. Don’t get me wrong, I like rubbing against naughty bits as much as the next repressed American. I get aroused pretty easily, too. I just have more self-control. I’ll never ask him to go down on me in a restaurant. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. But he would love it.
Ryan also had basically no sexual experience before me. I had a boyfriend when we first met. He only had his sore hand. Now that he has a lot more experience under his belt, he wants to try more and more exotic things. He’s in an experimental stage right now. I guess he’s on a sexual journey. I’m just not sure how far he wants to go, or how far I can go with him.
I’m really worried about this. The line I won’t cross is much closer than the line he won’t cross, wherever that is. Will he always want to try things I don’t like? Will I always be so stubborn? Will I have to go farther than I want to keep him? Will he have to hold himself back to keep me? Is this all just temporary? Most importantly, I want the name of whoever invented boyfriends. We need to talk.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Pastime Paradise
When I came home from work today, Ryan was jerking off in front of the computer. He didn’t even try to pretend to stop when I came in. I’ve seen him go to town before, but that’s usually when we’re together. I know he does it when he’s alone. That’s perfectly normal. Everybody does it. I sometimes masturbate in the shower or in bed if Ryan’s not home. Maybe on the sofa. Certainly not on the computer.
What I found strange about today was that he had no reaction to seeing me. If you’re at the computer, you’re going to notice someone coming in the door. There’s no way you can’t see them. Ryan was totally focused on the Asian girl with far too many gentleman suitors. He just kept pounding away until he spilled his seed all over the floor. He was working furiously, so I guess he was just in the zone.
I would be mortified if I were caught masturbating when he came home. He wouldn’t. He’d want to join me. When I came home and saw him, it never crossed my mind to join in. I think maybe men and women are just wired differently.
What I found strange about today was that he had no reaction to seeing me. If you’re at the computer, you’re going to notice someone coming in the door. There’s no way you can’t see them. Ryan was totally focused on the Asian girl with far too many gentleman suitors. He just kept pounding away until he spilled his seed all over the floor. He was working furiously, so I guess he was just in the zone.
I would be mortified if I were caught masturbating when he came home. He wouldn’t. He’d want to join me. When I came home and saw him, it never crossed my mind to join in. I think maybe men and women are just wired differently.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
The Elephant Song
Ryan is a talented musician and singer. He’s always coming up with catchy melodies, but he can’t write lyrics to save his life. He’s always singing little songs around the apartment and sometimes the words make me stop and wonder if his mother dropped him as a baby.
This was today’s song:
Elephants, everywhere elephants
Elephants are sucking my dick
That’s my man.
This was today’s song:
Elephants, everywhere elephants
Elephants are sucking my dick
That’s my man.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Ryan + Me + ?
Ryan reminded me about our little threeway talk last week. I was mostly asleep when it happened so I really didn’t remember much. This time he caught me while I was wide awake.
I could tell he’s been thinking about it for a while because he came prepared. He anticipated what I was going to say and had the answers already worked out in his head.
When I said that we are in a committed relationship, he said it would only strengthen our bond. When I pointed out that he doesn’t like to share, he said this would be different since it’s what he really, really, extra super really wants to do. When I brought up the whole jealously thing, he said he’d work extra hard to make sure I know that I’m more important to him. But when I pointed out that he might get jealous, he wasn’t sure how to react. This brought up the biggest problem.
Ryan is a guy. Like all guys, he wants to have sex with two girls at the same time. I’m a non-lesbian girl. I’m not interested in having sex with another girl. Of course, Ryan is fundamentally against two guys & one girl. The more I mentioned 2M/1F, the hotter it sounded – and the more annoyed Ryan got. He’s old fashioned. He likes his threeways the traditional 1M/2F. This would mean he gets to have sex with two girls while we only have sex with him. I don’t see myself going down on a girl any time soon. At least with two guys, everyone’s paying attention to me. It’s still unfair since there’s no way in hell Ryan’s doing another guy, but at least it skewers toward me.
So now we’re at a threeway impasse. It’s still his lifelong dream, as of a couple weeks ago, but now he’s not sure how to make it a reality.
I could tell he’s been thinking about it for a while because he came prepared. He anticipated what I was going to say and had the answers already worked out in his head.
When I said that we are in a committed relationship, he said it would only strengthen our bond. When I pointed out that he doesn’t like to share, he said this would be different since it’s what he really, really, extra super really wants to do. When I brought up the whole jealously thing, he said he’d work extra hard to make sure I know that I’m more important to him. But when I pointed out that he might get jealous, he wasn’t sure how to react. This brought up the biggest problem.
Ryan is a guy. Like all guys, he wants to have sex with two girls at the same time. I’m a non-lesbian girl. I’m not interested in having sex with another girl. Of course, Ryan is fundamentally against two guys & one girl. The more I mentioned 2M/1F, the hotter it sounded – and the more annoyed Ryan got. He’s old fashioned. He likes his threeways the traditional 1M/2F. This would mean he gets to have sex with two girls while we only have sex with him. I don’t see myself going down on a girl any time soon. At least with two guys, everyone’s paying attention to me. It’s still unfair since there’s no way in hell Ryan’s doing another guy, but at least it skewers toward me.
So now we’re at a threeway impasse. It’s still his lifelong dream, as of a couple weeks ago, but now he’s not sure how to make it a reality.
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