Thursday, December 27, 2012

Ryan’s Massage Day part 2

Ryan’s Massage Day part 1


Ryan was comparing his massage experience to mine, but I pointed out that things in Hong Kong and Fuzhou are sometimes very different. You would think they’re the same country, but they’re often not. In some ways, they might as well be different cultures. He was also a first time customer at a place he’d never been to before, and I go to my place all the time. Everybody there recognizes me and I know most of their names. My primary masseuse is a personal friend of mine.

He still seemed upset and eventually told me that the girl giving him his massage also gave him a hand job. He said it happened before he knew what was happening. When she was rubbing his legs while he was on his stomach, her hands sometimes went a little higher than he expected, but he thought it was just an accident. With the towel on, you can’t really tell where the legs end and the butt begins. When he was on his back, she had the same accident, but it quickly went from accidentally grazing his balls to full on grabbing his dick. He says he stopped her before it went too far, but I think it already went too far.

I was beyond upset when he told me, but the more I think about it, the more I believe his side of the story. First of all, he doesn’t have a thing for Chinese girls. Plenty of foreign men here do. That might be why a great many of them come here. But Ryan’s type is taller, paler, less conservative, more independent, with larger breasts. Essentially me. He thinks all Chinese hookers have AIDS. Some of them must, but the way the Chinese government handles things, we’ll never know any real statistics.

Ryan is a breast man and hates implants. He says they feel like rocks, even though he’s never actually felt any. I’m no Jane Russell, but bigger than the typical Chinese girl. His Chinese is terrible. I guess that doesn’t matter with hookers, but Ryan likes to talk during sex and he would hate knowing that the girl he’s talking to doesn’t understand a word he’s saying. He’s a man, so he thinks whatever he’s saying is important.

More importantly, he told me about it. He didn’t have to. I would have never found out. I’m not friends with his friends in Fuzhou, and he’s pretty much let go of his Hong Kong friendships. He could tell all of his band mates in China and none of them would ever tell me. They’d probably all say “bros before hoes”, high five each other and scratch their crotches. If he’s cheating on me, there’s no way he would tell me about this.

I’m still upset that some Chinese whore grabbed my boyfriend’s dick, but I suppose it could have been worse. He felt guilty about it and said he went home and took a long shower. He’s too paranoid about getting diseases from a hand job to cheat on me.

At least now I know why it was so expensive. A real massage in Fuzhou probably costs a lot less. The next time he gets a massage, he’s going with me.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Saturday, December 22, 2012

2012

Wasn’t the world supposed to end yesterday? I keep going to work, so it must still be here.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Ryan’s Massage Day part 1

I get foot massages at least twice a month, sometimes three times. It’s more than a foot massage. They also do my legs, but they call it a foot massage. The main part for me is the leg massage. My friend, Amy, is the one doing the actual massage. She knows what I like and she knows to concentrate on my legs more than my feet. Sometimes I get my shoulders done and I’ve had a few full body massages, but it’s mostly my legs and feet. After dancing all day in Belle’s big yellow dress – which is not light, let me tell you – or some funky Aladdin pants, my legs need a good rub down. When I talk to Ryan right after I’ve had a massage, I always tell him how great it is. Whenever he complains about being sore or tense, I tell him to get a massage.

Ryan is a guy. So going to spas is out of the question. Real men don’t get facials, and have you ever seen a man at a hair salon? I’m sure some do somewhere in the world, but not where I’m from. Minnesota men wash their hair with rocks and comb it with wagon wheels. Maybe not that extreme, but they’re never girly about hair maintenance. It took me a while to convince Ryan that getting a massage will in no way emasculate him and that working out those sore muscles might even feel good.

Unfortunately, I don’t know any places in Fuzhou. I have a regular place in Hong Kong where Amy works her magic on me, but I can’t recommend any place in the rest of China. I can’t even recommend a place in the rest of Hong Kong. The people Ryan hangs out with are not the spa treatment types, so they were no help. When I finally convinced Ryan to go get a massage, he was on his own.

When he came back from his first Chinese massage, maybe even his first professional massage ever, he asked me a lot of questions. He wanted to know what I wear when I’m getting a massage, what exactly they do and how much it all costs. I didn’t want to tell him how much it costs since I really don’t want him to know how much money I spend pampering myself. It’s not a great deal of money, but it is a luxury. My legs work hard for a living and they deserve a good massage, but I could live without it.

His massage was more expensive, which surprised me since everything is cheaper on the mainland. Then again, I get legs and feet, while he got full body. It should cost more, but I was still surprised by how much more. You also have to consider that foreigners usually pay a higher price for everything in China. I don’t get ripped off where I go, but that might only be because I’m a regular customer. Maybe it’s because I know how to haggle. If you buy anything for the initial price in China, you will get robbed.

When I get a leg massage, I either take off my pants or just lift my skirt a little. I’m not anything close to naked, and fully clothed from the waist up. I get topless when they do my shoulders, but they have towels for modesty. Ryan was surprised that they wanted him to get fully naked, but I told him that’s normal for a full body massage. The towel covers your butt and it’s a lot easier for them to oil you up. You don’t want clothes on when you’re getting an oil massage.

He wanted to know how they rub the muscles and what they do, so I told him. It probably takes a long time to learn how to be a really good masseuse, but the basic concept is pretty simple – work the muscles until they are not as tense.



Sunday, December 16, 2012

Connecticut Shooting

I keep hearing about how bad the United States is, how Americans are so arrogant, we always invade every country in the world and we’re always telling everybody else what to do. I always defend the United States because it’s my home. We’ve got our share of problems, but we’re also the country everyone goes to for help. If there’s a disaster anywhere in the world, American aid is sent. If some country attacks some other country, American troops are sent. Need food, medicine, protection? The United States probably helped your country at some point in time. Some people might hate the United States, but even more look up to us as the most powerful country in the world. That power didn’t come by default. We had to work at it. There are countries with more oil, more water, more land, more people. We made it to the top through a combination of determination, opportunity, watching Europe destroy itself, and a lot of hard work. It’s no coincidence that more people immigrate to the United States than any other country.

Then some idiot goes into a school and shoots a bunch of children. This doesn’t happen in other countries, at least not at such a large scale and so often. I really don’t know what the problem is. Some people will blame guns, but other countries have plenty of guns and they don’t shoot each other. I read that 90% of people in Switzerland have access to guns. I’ve never heard of a school shooting in Switzerland.

Some people even say we need more guns. I don’t see how that would help anything. If everybody had a gun, it wouldn’t be like a movie where the good guys shoot the bad guys. It would be like real life where too many people shoot too many other people. If everybody had a gun and only half of the people miss, it would still be a bloodbath.

Some people try to say it’s all the immigration. We’re so violent because we have such a melting pot of people. That’s just stupid. A lot of countries have people from all over the world. We’re hardly the only one. Europe is a melting pot, but I never hear about school shootings there. Canada and Australia have immigrants running around all over the place. When is there ever a school shooting in Canada or Australia?

Some people point to our violent past as a way to explain our violent present. They say the old west was a big free for all and some of that attitude is still around. But the old west wasn’t really the anarchy of the movies, and most of the world has a violent past. Europe has been at war since the beginning of time up until just a few decades ago. The history of Asia is one long list of wars and crimes against humanity. And there are far more people living in cramped conditions. When was the last time there was a school shooting anywhere in Asia?

I really don’t know why this keeps happening. I know most Americans would never dream of shooting children. It’s the very small minority who are giving us all a bad name. I also know it’s a lot more important to help the children who have to deal with this than to blame whatever politician you don’t like. By turning these school shootings into a political issue, we are guaranteeing that it will not be solved any time soon. Americans can be counted on to get the job done, as long as it’s not political. Once you bring politics into it, any movement in any direction comes to a screeching halt. If the moon landing had turned into a political issue with Democrats for and Republicans against, Russia would have landed on the moon. If Republicans had opposed airplanes for religious reasons or Democrats opposed them for safety reasons, the Wright Brothers would have stuck with bicycles. If you want adults to stop shooting children, you have to make it a human issue, not a political one.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

My First Real Movie part 4

When everyone and all the equipment were ready, we did the first take. I was awesome, not that it takes much to show someone to their table. The director didn’t like it and talked to the star. He seemed to be happy with me. He never really said much to me in English. Mostly “yes”, “no”, “ok” and “go again”. I didn’t get a lot of direction, but it wasn’t about me. The tension in the scene was between the good guy, whom I was taking to his seat, and the bad guy, who was already sitting in the background.

We stopped in the middle of the second take because someone knocked over one of the lights. The director was annoyed, but calm. The restaurant was a cramped space for so much equipment. He stopped the third take for some reason. I suppose he didn’t like something. He never complained about me, at least as far as I know.

Another take was killed when the star tripped and fell down. He’s supposed to be an action hero and he couldn’t walk to his table. I thought it was funny, but I didn’t laugh. Who knows how he or the crew would have reacted to the foreigner laughing at the big movie star. I’m new to movies, but I’m not stupid. I’m also acutely aware that any time an actor ruins a take, that only costs the production even more money.

This seemed to go on forever. We would stop in the middle because something went wrong or we would make it all the way through but the director didn’t like it. Either the sound was off or the lighting was bad or he didn’t like the way the camera moved. It was always something. It got pretty tedious after a while. In the theater, you do the same play repeatedly, but stretched out over days. Rehearsals can drag on, but the show is non-stop. In movieland, it’s the same scene over and over again in just a few hours. You work for a few minutes, wait for what seems like hours, work for a few more minutes and wait again. I got tired of showing that guy to his table. The funny part is, this was only the beginning of the scene. All the main action came later. I don’t know when they’re filming that, but I bet it takes a long time.

Eventually, we got a complete take that the director liked that didn’t have any technical problems. The director was very happy. He thanked me, and the wardrobe woman took me back to the dressing room. Some of the extras went back as well. They seemed to be in a hurry to get rid of us. Maybe they were filming the rest of the scene that day. Maybe the restaurant needed to open. I don’t know. I didn’t meet anybody that day who felt like they owed me any explanations.

It was all over in four hours. I waited weeks for this and now it’s done. They’re supposed to tell me when the movie comes out later. They’re still filming, so it could be a while. There’s a lot I don’t know. I still don’t know why they wanted a foreigner for that scene. A Chinese actor could have done it just as easily.

Now I just wait for Steven Spielberg to call me.

After about four hours on set, I was on my way to Paisano’s to get some pizza before going home. I had spent all morning in a restaurant, but I needed to go somewhere else to get something to eat.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

My First Real Movie part 3

I’m in a movie. How many people will see it? I don’t know. Probably not many outside of Hong Kong. Am I the star? Not at all. I was on set for four hours, and that’s it. I’m done. I don’t know how much screen time I’ll have. It could be a minute. I’m only in one scene and I’m not even in most of it. It’s mostly a big fight scene that they’re going to shoot later. My part was before the fight.

I got to the set at 6am. The set was a real restaurant that was closed. I thought I was going to have a hard time convincing security that I was supposed to be there, but they knew who I was right away. Not because I’m a big star, but because I’m the only foreigner in the scene. I played the hostess of the restaurant. I don’t know why they wanted a foreigner. And realistically, anyone could have gotten through that security if they wanted to.

Someone took me to makeup, which was a small room in the back of the restaurant. There were no dressing rooms, since we were on location, and I never saw any trailers for the stars. I don’t know where you would park a trailer on a Hong Kong street. There were a few women doing hair and makeup for several actors in the room. Everyone was speaking Chinese and it all seemed pretty hectic. There was a lot of pointing and gesturing me where to go.

One of the makeup women pointed me to another small room and the wardrobe woman gave me my costume. There was a big room divider in the middle of what was more or less a dressing room. The men were on one side and the women on the other. It was kind of funny that everyone was getting into costume when most of them were just wearing regular street clothes. Even I could have worn my own clothes if they’d told me to wear a business outfit.

They put everyone into position and I met the director. He seemed pretty busy. There wasn’t a lot of chit chat. He told me where to go and when to say my lines. That’s called blocking in English. I have no idea what they call it in Chinese. I met the star of the movie, who was greeted enthusiastically by pretty much everyone on set. I still don’t know who he is. He’s the only other actor I worked with directly, aside from walking around extras.

We did a slow rehearsal for the crew, so all the camera, lighting and sound guys could get everything in all the right positions. Then we did a quick rehearsal for the director. He seemed satisfied, but there was some kind of problem with the camera. While we waited around for them to fix it, everyone was talking to each other in Chinese and I was floating around in a daze. I did some student films in Minnesota. They were nothing like this.

On a completely unrelated note, today is 12/12/12. I do it the American way – 12/12/12, but here in Hong Kong they do 12/12/12. Computer people probably prefer 12/12/12.



Monday, December 10, 2012

My First Real Movie part 2

Tomorrow I’m going to the set of my first real movie. It’s a tiny part. I play the hostess of a restaurant where the good guy and bad guy meet. There’s a big fight scene, but I’m just in the beginning where I show the good guy to his table.

I’m not really sure what to expect. I’m used to working on stage. This scene will be filmed in a real restaurant. I’m used to performing in front of an audience. This will be in front of a camera and crew. I assume the restaurant will be closed, so no audience.

They gave me the part of the script with my two lines, so I’m ready to go. It wasn’t hard to memorize.

I’m nervous, but mostly excited. It’s nothing much, but it’s a big deal to me.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

John Lennon

1940-1980


We're playing those mind games together
Pushing the barriers, planting seeds
Playing the mind guerrilla
Chanting the mantra peace on earth

We all been playing those mind games forever
Some kinda Druid dudes lifting the veil
Doing the mind guerrilla
Some call it magic, the search for the grail

Love is the answer and you know that for sure
Love is a flower, you got to let it grow

So keep on playing those mind games together
Faith in the future out of the now
You just can't beat on those mind guerrillas
Absolute elsewhere in the stones of your mind

We're playing those mind games forever
Projecting our images in space and in time

Yes is the answer and you know that for sure
Yes is surrender, you got to let it go

So keep on playing those mind games together
Doing the ritual dance in the sun
Millions of mind guerrillas
Putting their soul power to the karmic wheel

Keep on playing those mind games forever
Raising the spirit of peace and love
I want you to make love, not war
I know you've heard it before

Friday, December 7, 2012

Pearl Harbor

“Yesterday, December 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy – the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

“The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleagues delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.

“It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

“The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

“Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong. Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam. Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine islands. Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island. And this morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island. Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

“As commander in chief of the army and navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

“I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

“Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger. With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph, so help us God.

“I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.”

--President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 12/8/1941



Pearl Harbor National Memorial

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Paisano's Pizza





People have been asking me where Paisano’s Pizza is. I guess I mentioned it somewhere and now everyone wants to know where to find it. There are three or four in Hong Kong and they’re talking about opening two more – Stanley Market and Causeway Bay. Those are not open yet as far as I know.

There’s one at Wan Chai on the corner of Thomson Road and O’Brien. It’s closest to exit A5, but if you get off there, you’re on one of those overhead pedestrian walkways and you can’t see it with all the buildings and trees. If you keep walking, you’ll miss it. You have to immediately go down, even though you just went up from the MTR. Once you’re at ground level, turn left and it’s right in front of you. A better way if you don’t know the area is exit A3. Turn left on O’Brien as soon as you exit the station. That’s the much smaller of the only two streets you can see from the exit. If you walk into traffic and large buses, that’s Johnston Road. Don’t go that way. But if you do, keep going straight and you’ll hit Tai Yuen Shopping Street, at the far end of which is a decent bakery. Otherwise, once you’re on O’Brien, you’ll see Paisano’s half a block straight in front of you. It’s right there out in the open. You don’t have to go into any other buildings to find it.

There’s one at Tsim Sha Tsui on Granville Road in The One department store, not even a block from Nathan Road. The One starts on Nathan. From exit B2, make a u-turn toward the big mosque, turn right on Nathan, which is the first street a few feet away, and another right on Granville.

There’s one in Soho on Hollywood Road about two blocks from Pizza Express, just under the “longest escalator in the world”. It’s really a few escalators. You can’t get to it from the escalators, but it’s an easy walk from the Central MTR exit D2. Just turn left from the station, cross Queen's Road while keeping straight on D’Aguilar for two blocks, turn right on Wellington Street and walk uphill for one block, turn left onto the alleyway. I don’t know if it has a name, but that intersection has four options – two proper streets and two staired alleys. The stairs going downhill might look more inviting, but that’s the wrong way. After a full block up the stairs, turn right on Hollywood Road. You’ll see the escalators in front of you. Paisano’s is just before that. You could take any number of alternate streets to get there, but it’s uphill from the station no matter what you do.

From the Sheung Wan station exit E2, turn left and cut through the Millennium Plaza – with the fancy staircase. On the other side of the fountain, cross Queen’s Road and turn left on Wellington Street, walk uphill for a full block, keep walking for another two blocks downhill – past Pizza Express, turn right, uphill, on Cochrane Street – directly under the escalators, walk uphill for a block, cross Lyndhurst Terrace and keep going straight/uphill/under the escalators until you hit the next street. That’s Hollywood Road. Paisano’s is to your immediate left.

I’ve heard there’s one in Discovery Bay. It’s supposed to be really close to Disneyland, but I’ve never seen it.


Monday, December 3, 2012

My First Real Movie part 1

I start shooting my first real movie next week. I’m supposed to be on the set by 6am. That’s pretty early in Hong Kong, but not very early in the movie world. It’s not really a set either. We’re filming in a real restaurant. I was hoping to do it on a sound stage, but this is good, too.

The production assistant who I’ve been talking to asked me if I was excited about working with these big time Hong Kong movie stars, but I’ve never heard of them. They’re probably famous in Hong Kong movies, but I don’t watch those. Maybe I should now.

I’m excited anyway. I’m going to be in a real movie.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Very Inspiring



I’ve been nominated for a very inspiring blogger award. I don’t know what that means. I’m sure my blog has never inspired anyone. Has any blog ever inspired anyone? But as they say, it’s an honor just to be nominated.

Rule #1 – Post the award logo. No problem. I can do that.
Rule #2 – Link back to the person who nominated me. Ok – http://housewifedownunder.wordpress.com
Rule #3 – List seven things about me. Oy vey.

My resume says dancer/singer if I’m trying out for a mostly dancing part and singer/dancer if I’m trying out for a mostly singing part. I consider myself more a dancer than anything else. I also do a little acting, but that’s usually in conjunction with singing and/or dancing. I have studied lyrical, jazz, tap, contemporary, ballet, Baroque, Flamenco, and Gaelic and First Nations folk dances enough to put them on my resume. Vocally, I am a coloratura mezzo-soprano and have been working on my lower register.

Drums were my first instrument and I learned scales on piano so I could practice singing without an accompanist. I never did anything organized in jr high, but played quads and alto sax in my high school marching band, drums and soprano sax in the jazz band, and tenor and alto sax in the concert band.

I took French in high school. Or j’ai pris le français au lycée. What I don’t remember would make my teacher say mon dieu.

I love cheese. I grew up in Minnesota, which may not officially be the cheese capital of America, but we tell ourselves it is. So naturally, I moved to Hong Kong, where cheese is never the first thing on the menu. I got a big box of American cheese for Christmas last year. It was one of the best Christmas gifts ever.

My family tree can be traced back to 12th century Scotland. I’ve never been to Scotland, but I know about our clan, coat of arms, tartans, motto and family history. One of my ancestors helped form the Chattan Confederation. We were big shots a very long time ago, but lost most of it by taking the wrong sides in a few wars. My grandfather was really into all of that and taught me everything he knew about it. I don’t like to talk about my family, but I have great memories of my grandfather. He was a professional jazz drummer and before that, was an army sergeant with the 1st Infantry Division and part of the first wave that landed on Omaha Beach on D-Day.

I was born near and raised in Minnesota, but I don’t have the stereotypical accent that people who know nothing about Minnesota expect me to have. Most of us don’t. It’s only some people in small towns up north and in movies. Though inaccurate for the sake of comedy, Fargo was still a great movie. But I do sometimes say “oh yah”, “boughten” and “what the hockey sticks”, as in H-E-double hockey sticks. I also know what a popple is and always wore Sorels, choppers and a toque to climb them.

I used to own three pairs of choppers. Now I have none. It’s never cold enough here anyway. This isn’t interesting or inspirational, but I guess I’m not interesting enough to come up with seven things.

Rule #4 – Nominate 15 other blogs. That’s the hardest part. I don’t read 15 other blogs. I don’t even know about 15 other blogs. So here are a few I’ve read and a few I just found at random. I don’t think randomly listing blogs is in the true spirit of this thing, but 15 is a lot of blogs.

http://thisgirlsaysow.blogspot.com – American girl in Denmark
http://reykjavikharbor.blogspot.com – American girl in Iceland
http://www.americangirlinjordan.blogspot.com – American girl in Jordan
http://jordanasimone7.blogspot.com – American girl in Israel
http://meirabaterachaim.blogspot.com – Israeli girl who’s a soldier in the air force
http://architart.blogspot.com – American in Hong Kong
http://www.mywanderinglife.com – American in Shanghai
http://meigourenadventures.blogspot.com – I think this guy is a famous writer, but he doesn’t give his name
http://www.landofnocheese.com – Hong Kong photo blog with a lot of pictures
http://www.hongkongblong.com – Weird things about Hong Kong
http://thehungryegghead.com – I don’t know anything about this one, but it’s got a lot of Hong Kong pictures

Rule #5 – Notify these bloggers. I can do that.

That’s enough inspiration for now.