Dating Underwater2. The Best Laid Plans Go Oft Awry

When Hisoka went back to Tokyo, he sent me text messages every day. I liked talking to him, but I wondered when he was going to give up. He does not come to Hong Kong every weekend, and even when he is here, he is always going to meetings and conferences and business dinners. I did not think he had time for anyone and I definitely was not interested in another long distance relationship. The last time I had one of those, I lost the closest thing I have ever come to a soulmate. I'm overjoyed that we never got married. That would have been a disaster. But ending that relationship was painful at the time.

Eventually, Hisoka came up with a plan for our first date. I immediately told him it was crazy. He agreed with me, but he also thought it would work out pretty well. He obviously put a lot of thought into it.

His next trip to China was too busy, but he was going straight from Hong Kong to Hiroshima, where he would have some free time before he had to be back in Tokyo. Since it is only a three hour flight to Hiroshima, he reasoned that we could go together, have our date in Hiroshima and then I could either stick around and explore the city or go home when he went back to Tokyo.

I had a list of reasons why that would never work.

1. I can't go to another country just for a date.
2. A three hour flight translates to eight hours of airports and transportation, one way.
3. I don't know anything about Hiroshima, other than we bombed it a few years ago. If I want to spend the night, I have not done any research. If I do not spend the night, that is one crazy trip.

Hisoka had plenty of answers.

1. Why not? Hong Kong is surrounded by other countries. If you never want to cross a border, you can never leave the city.
2. Since he is using his company's plane, there would be little time spent at the airport. Private flights are much easier than commercial flights.
3. Hiroshima has all the best of Japan. It is an ancient city with all the culture, but the buildings and infrastructure are relatively new. Nothing in the city was built before 1945, mostly because we bombed it a few years ago.

We went back and forth for a while, but then Hisoka pushed me over the edge with something Hiroshima could offer that I would never find in Hong Kong. Honshu is essentially an island of volcanoes and earthquakes. All those volcanoes make it a great place for hot springs, which the Japanese have been enjoying since the beginning of time. According to Hisoka, Hiroshima has some of the best hot springs in the world. He knew a place where we could soak and eat, and I could even spend some extra time if I wanted.

I love hot tubs, and hot springs are a million times better. But I'm not spending the night with anyone on a first date, whether that hotel is on top of a geothermic river or not. Hisoka pointed out that sleeping there was not required. I could go back home the same day or spend the weekend. He had to go to Tokyo that night no matter what I did. Whether I stayed or went home, I would do it without him.

This was an interesting idea. Still crazy, but different. Usually when a guy wants to take you away for the weekend, he wants hotel sex, and maybe see some of the sights. Hisoka wanted to take me away and then take off. That gave me the independence to do whatever I wanted in a new city without all the hassle of getting there by myself. After I asked him a million questions, I agreed to go and he made all the arrangements. All I had to do was decide how long I wanted to stay.

Lily liked the idea of me going away for the weekend with a guy, but she thought the part about going to another country was crazy. Since she is Canadian, her idea of leaving the county is the same as mine, a long trip to somewhere far away. But we live in Hong Kong, where you can leave the country on a quick plane ride, or even by boat.

I explained to Lily that Hisoka was not at all threatening. He was calm and polite.

“So are serial killers,” she told me.

I explained that we were not going to spend the night together. We were going away together on a first date, which was strange, but I would spend the night alone and come back home alone. She had no problem with the idea of us spending the night together. She actively encouraged me to have more sex with more men. Her concern was the part about leaving the country.

“If we lived in Los Angeles and he wanted to take me to Las Vegas, would that bother you?” I asked her.

From my point of view, it was similar. Hong Kong and Hiroshima are in different countries, but close to each other, like California and Nevada, but with a lot of water in between. Of course, a better analogy would have been Los Angeles to Kansas City. Los Angeles to Las Vegas is more like Hong Kong to Xiamen. Lily would not have balked if he wanted to take me to Xiamen.

Lily would have felt better if she could meet Hisoka first and see how unthreatening he was, but if he had time to meet her, we could have a normal first date. I pointed out that she always wanted me to be more reckless with men. She always envisioned scenarios where I would not be sold into human trafficking.