Sooner or later, we all get old. When you are a child, anyone who can drive a car is old. When you are in high school, people who go to class reunions are old.
My high school reunion is in July. Why am I finding out about it so late? It was announced on Facebook. I'm not on Facebook. Someone who is on Facebook told me about it through old fashioned media. I suppose I should be happy that someone eventually realized my name was not on any of the lists.
I don't know if I'm going to go. On the one hand, I had some great friends in high school. On the other hand, those friendships faded over time, as they do. You move on with your life and develop other interests besides school activities and which boys are the cutest. I have not been to a single football game since high school and can't remember the last time I kissed a boy behind the bleachers. I have other priorities these days, as I'm sure do most of my old friends. Moving to Hong Kong was the final nail in a few of those coffins.
I have not been to Minnesota since a summer vacation in 2012. There is no particular reason that it has been so long. I have simply chosen to go to other places. When you live in Hong Kong, it's easier and cheaper to fly around Asia and even Europe. The United States is expensive and far away. I went to Canada two years ago. The two flights to get there took 18 hours, but cost about as much as the first leg of all the flights it would take to get to Minnesota. In about 12 hours, I could fly to Amsterdam or Paris for less. For the price of a ticket from San Francisco to Minneapolis, I could fly to Bali in five hours, Tokyo in four or Bangkok in three.
Then there is airport security. That might be important in this day and age, but the TSA is out of control. I have no idea why Americans put up with it. The illusion of security will never make up for genuine security. Searching an old lady's colostomy bag and groping autistic children does absolutely nothing to make you safer. If anything, it makes you less safe. That time could have been better spent on the one in a millionth person who might actually be suspicious. When I had a job in Tel Aviv, I used to fly to Israel every month or two. That is one country with every right to be paranoid about security, but they are not. Tel Aviv's airport security is the exact opposite of the TSA. They are efficient and highly successful. I would rather go through an Israeli, Indonesian or Thai airport every day than an American airport any day.
I also have a few tiny plates in my head. There are no medical prohibitions against my flying. In fact, I flew home from Beijing long before I was ever medically cleared to jet up into the atmosphere. There is no reason to expect anything in my head will set off the metal detectors. Nothing happened in Beijing. But if I wear a hat at the airport, I will have to take it off. If their security is observant, they will see the scar. Since this is the TSA, they might think I had drugs surgically implanted into my skull. That sounds stupid, but so does the TSA.
If I do go, it will be in July. There is absolutely nothing I can do about that. I suppose it makes sense to have reunions in the summer. That is when most people have some time off. But my last trip to Minnesota was in the summer. I would rather go in the winter. That sounds strange to people who think Minnesota is a frozen wasteland all year, but it is actually a beautiful winter wonderland. Especially if you don't have to live through it every year. We don't have winter in Hong Kong, and the last time I went anywhere with snow was that trip to Canada two years ago. My last trip into the United States was to Los Angeles and San Francisco. Snow was never an option.
I,like you, am American as well. In my 20's and 30's I lived in Asia for two stints of 3 years apiece. I too never flew back to the U.S. during my time there, but did fly to a few other places in Asia. It's not like I meant to not visit the U.S., it is just that it never crossed my mind to go visit. I guess you get used to wherever it is you are currently living - and in turn - you don't always place your home country high on the list of places you feel you need/want to visit. I never felt an overwhelming urge to make a regular pilgrimage back to the U.S. at that time, even though I still had good friends there.
ReplyDeleteHigh school reunions. Haha, that is another issue. I have never been to any of mine. Part of the reason is that the one or two friends from high school that I was really close with - I still am close/closeish with. Also, my life just doesn't fit what seems to be the mold/model of life that most of the people in my high school seem to aspire to. That is, go to a good college, have a good, well paying career, get married to a financially/mentally stable mate - with which you have several children with - and whose pictures you post on Facebook in a tastefully curated way.
Before I moved here, I just assumed I'd go back at least once a year. I've known expats who go back every Christmas or someone's birthday. But like you said, when you have a choice of going somewhere new in Asia or back to where you lived most of your life, it's an easy choice. I haven't rejected my hometown. I'd love to go back more often. But there are so many interesting places I haven't seen yet.
DeleteI don't know if my high school friends want the same things out of life that I want, or even if they post all their pictures on Facebook. I don't think it really matters. If I go, it won't be to pick up where we left off and become great friends again. It would be to talk about old times for a little while and then go our separate ways. I could see doing it once, but I can't imagine going to every single reunion for the next 50 years. There are probably a lot of people who, like you, don't go to any of them. They might be the people I'd want to see the most.