Typhoon Nida

Typhoon Nida was the second typhoon of the season and the first to hit Hong Kong. Typhoon Nepartak was larger, and brought plenty of rain, but hit north of us in Fujian.

As usual, the authorities issued their warnings and everyone braced for impact. As usual, it was a tempest in a teapot. There was some rain, but this is the rainy season. We will probably get a foot of rain this month with or without any typhoons. There was some wind that knocked down a few trees, but we have all seen worse. Hong Kong is a pretty strong city. It takes more than heavy wind to bring any of these buildings down. It is usually the Philippines and Mainland China that gets hit the hardest. Thankfully, I have not heard about any deaths from Nida yet.

When I first moved here, it bothered me when it looked like everyone was panicking and then nothing really happened. It's not that I wanted to watch a catastrophe, but I did not understand why everyone was so worried about a little wind and rain.

Now, I'm glad that the government takes each typhoon so seriously. Most of the typhoons since I have been here never warranted shutting everything down, but it is better that they take the precautions than ignore it and get hit by a bigger storm than anyone expected. As it is, even the smallest typhoons will close down government offices, schools and most transportation. I used to find that frustrating, but now I appreciate getting a day off work. My apartment balcony is an especially nice place to watch a typhoon whirl by.

Unconventional 2016

I watched a tiny patch of the Republican convention and even less of the Democratic convention. I don't see why these conventions have to spread out over a few days. They used to pick their candidates at the convention, but now we all know who it is going to be long before anyone breaks out the balloons and straw hats. Today's conventions are little more than pep rallies to stroke egos. This may be an unusual election, but I care about it less than usual.

Republicans will say I should care because if Clinton is elected, the country will fall apart, the terrorists will take over and the ground will open up and swallow the United States in a biblical rage.

Democrats will say I should care because if Trump is elected, he will declare himself dictator, outlaw every religion and race and turn the country into a police state.

I doubt either will happen. Clinton would most likely be a standard Democratic president. The economy will improve slightly while Republicans fight her every step of the way, calling her the worst president in the history of the world. In the end, she will be neither best nor worst. Unless some extraordinary event challenges her and she either rises or falls. Lincoln would not be considered great without the Civil War, just as Hoover would not be a failure without the Great Depression. Neither president caused those events, but how they reacted determined how history remembers them. Then again, Hillary Clinton has a vagina, so any speculation about her presidency is purely academic. I would bet big money she does not win.

I don't know what kind of president Trump would be, but that is only because he is not really a Republican and the only time he tells us what he would do, it is something unconstitutional or well beyond the president's authority. The Great Wall of Mexico and deporting Muslims is never going to happen. He says horribly racist things and wants people to believe that he is dangerous, but when you look beyond the show, he has never said or done anything original. His ranting and raving is simply white noise. Unfortunately, I think he stands a pretty good chance of winning. Not because he has anything to offer, but because he has absolutely nothing to offer. Americans are very grumpy right now, and grumpy old grampa Trump is the kind of person they can look to for some good old fashioned nonsense. With any luck, he will surround himself with people who are far more experienced and they can determine policy while he whines on Twitter. But I think he will more likely pick corporate executives who fail quickly, and his administration will have a high turnover rate.

This two-year election will be over in a few months and CNN can get back to endless stories about Syria. One of the greatest things about living outside of the United States is that I don't have to see any campaign commercials, but CNN has been reporting every single thing that comes out of Trump's mouth for the last year and a half. No matter what happens on election night, at least that will stop.

Woolly Mountain Pass

I went on another date last weekend. I was not about to give up after the last one. That one was so bad that I was determined to go out with a strange man and not have it end in complete failure.

I met Harry through a mutual friend of a friend. Harry is not his real name, but I'm calling him that for obvious reasons. He is a German who works for some kind of financial company.

When we first talked on the phone, I liked how nervous he was. He was not babbling idiot nervous, but just nervous enough to show that he was not an arrogant narcissist. Most men want to sound confident, and I understand that completely, but when they overcompensate, they come across as pompous. Harry seemed humble, which is pretty rare in the Twitter Age, and a little shy.

He suggested we go for a morning run, which surprised me. Everyone wants to look their best on a first date, and no one looks their best while running in the oppressive July humidity of Hong Kong. But when he mentioned Bowen Road, I knew that he knew what he was talking about.

Bowen Road is one of the most popular places for joggers and walkers in Hong Kong. It is tucked away in the mountains, so no one accidentally stumbles onto it. You have to know where it is to get there. It is also a great place to run or walk since the road is away from Hong Kong traffic and shaded by mountain trees. Cars are completely blocked from a long stretch of three or four different paths. There are plenty of dogs off their leashes, but they are pets rather than strays, and even stray dogs are safer than Hong Kong drivers.

When Harry and I first saw each other, we were in our running clothes, which is a lot different from seeing someone for the first time in their Sunday best. Running clothes are more realistic. Except for Harry's. When he took off his jacket and sweatpants, he was wearing a tank top and 1970s style gym shorts. I never know what is fashionable at any given time, but I'm pretty sure this was not.

What surprised me more than what he was wearing was what he was packing under those clothes. The tank top did nothing to stop all that hair poking out from his chest, shoulders and back. When he took off the sweatpants, I thought he was wearing fur leggings.

After a brief conversation about nothing in particular, we set off down the path. I was tempted to really run and see if he could keep up, but I know how competitive some men can be. If I ran faster, he would get upset and pout. If he ran faster, he would become unbearable and gloat. It was also the middle of July. We stuck with light jogging and some walking. He drank plenty of water, but it was hard to tell if he was struggling to keep up or simply hydrating. While running in Hong Kong, you should always drink more water than you want.

Bowen Road has a few spots where decent views of the city peek out between the trees. We stopped a few times and talked about this and that. It was nothing magical, but we did not annoy each other either.

I don't know if there will be a second date. I like to think I'm not a superficial person, but he was really hairy. It bothered me more than it should. I can't tell him to wax since I would never let a man tell me what hair should stay and what should go.

Other than his fur coat, everything seemed ok. We did not get to know each other in any meaningful way, but it was only one date. If there is ever another, maybe we will talk more. We definitely can't go swimming. He would clog the drains.

Tel Aviv Audition part 2

I went to Tel Aviv for an audition last week. It went very well. Afterward, I had one of the best interviews of my life. We all got along like old friends. We all wanted the same thing, so it was like having a quick visit before everyone had to go somewhere else. I'm now a visiting performer at the Suzanne Dellal Center. That appeals to me for a variety of reasons.

Suzanne Dellal is the leading non-ballet dance institution in Israel. They have not only the premier venue in the country, but also most of the leading dance companies and what is probably the best academy. They are also Mikhail Baryshnikov's favorite dance center in Israel. That's nothing to sneeze at. He knows a thing or two about dance.

The bad news is that I will not be performing in anything right away. Everything is fully booked. But I will not have to wait until next season since this is a full year operation rather than one of those seasonal centers. When you join a ballet company, you have to get in at the right time since they don't perform year round.

The good news is that I will not be performing in anything right away. I have a day job. Getting a few days off is one thing, but taking a month off right after I took a month off is pushing it. It is also summer. Tel Aviv is only going to get hotter before it cools off. I would like to see the different seasons, but I don't mind if I can avoid August.

Another Day, Another Shooting

Police officers shot a young black man in St Paul who had a broken tail light. What I find unbelievable is not so much that the police shot a young black man. That seems to be alarmingly common. What I can't believe is that it happened in Minnesota. That's something that happens in the south, California and Wisconsin. If it can happen in Minnesota, it can happen anywhere. Maybe not in Vermont. If you are one of the five young black men there, you probably already know how to avoid the police.

Now people are shooting the police in Dallas. I'm not on Facebook, so I don't have all the answers to society's problems, but I doubt making the police more paranoid is going to help anybody.

Whenever I go to Israel, people always warn me that Israel is a dangerous place, even though it is not. No one has ever told me to be careful when going to the United States. Then again, I am not a young black man.

7/4/16

Tel Aviv Audition

I went to Tel Aviv last month. I was only there for a few days, but I met some people and we did some talking. Now I have an audition next week.

I'm not moving to Tel Aviv. That is not likely to ever happen. I am not even leaving Hong Kong. I'm sure that will happen some day, but not today. If all goes well at this audition, I will go to Tel Aviv from time to time for specific performances. This is not a full time gig. It's more like serving in the National Guard. They will call me up when they want to.

Since this is not any kind of regular job, it will not pay particularly well. I'm kind of amazed they are even willing to pay anything at all. But I'm not doing it for the money. I'm in it for the experience. If you are a performer and someone wants you to perform on the other side of the world in a country you don't understand, you take it. I have to assume it will be very educational. It also does not hurt the CV.

In any event, it's too soon to make any plans. I have not even auditioned yet. I like to be optimistic, but I could always blow it and none of this will matter.

English #1 Ok

Ever since I moved to Hong Kong, other expats and would-be expats have asked me about English teaching jobs in Hong Kong. I could never tell them anything because I have never taught English in Hong Kong and I never really knew anyone who did. Until now.

When Lily went to Canada just before her father died, she lost her job here. When she came back, she had 90 days to either get a work visa or leave the country. When I was in Jerusalem, she got a job. Now she works in a cram school.

Cram schools are essentially where students go after their regular school to study whatever subject they are not testing as well in as their parents would like. Most cram schools are English, but they also have math, science and whatever is in demand.

Not that many years ago, foreigners flocked to East Asia to teach English. It was considered an easy job that paid well and left plenty of time off to party and go to bars, not to mention all the cheap and easy travel opportunities that you only get when you live in East Asia.

Those days are over. It is still easier to travel around Asia when you live here, but too many foreigners flooded the market. Now, the schools can pick and choose more than they used to. That means more competition for jobs and more qualifications and requirements needed to get what few jobs are available.

The bare minimum government requirements are a bachelor's degree from a recognized university, no criminal record and native English speaker status. You have to be from the UK, US, Australia, Canada, New Zealand or South Africa. If you are from anywhere else, they assume you are not a native English speaker, no matter how good your English might be.

Now that there are too many foreigners looking at too few jobs, more schools are requiring degrees in English and previous teaching experience and/or certification. It is also easier for them to discriminate based on nationality. They have always preferred Americans, Brits and Canadians, but they used to take whoever they could get back when there were fewer foreigners. You are also out of luck if you happen to be over a certain age, black or Asian. Ironically, most schools don't want Chinese Americans, even if English is their native language and they were born and raised in America. Some ads will even state “No ABCs”, meaning no American Born Chinese. Since these are English schools, they should probably come up with a different acronym.

Not only are there more foreigners than there used to be, but schools are moving more toward internet and virtual classes. That means each school needs to hire fewer teachers to teach more students. Instead of 1 teacher for every 20 students in a classroom, they can have 1 teacher for 100+ students online.

Lily lucked out in a few ways. She is young, female and Canadian. Schools like all of those things. She has also been living in Hong Kong for several years. That tells schools that she is not going to run away any time soon. Hiring someone right off the boat is always dangerous. You never know who can't handle living in a foreign country until it is too late. And she already had a work visa, so she has already been government approved. That makes life a lot easier for the schools.

Lily just started working at her school, so she does not have many amusing stories yet, but from what I have heard from other EFL teachers, she will have plenty sooner or later.

Smart Phone, Stupid Date

I went out on my first date in a hundred years. Maybe less. It was definitely my first date since Ryan. It was my first first date since high school.

I was supposed to have a date with a guy I met on New Year's Eve, but I had a touch of the bird flu and he did not want to wait. Six months later, I was back out in the jungle. No one has ever accused me of moving too fast. Knowing that this was my first first date since high school, I did not want to put too much pressure on it. Dating a new person is hard enough on its own.

We went to a trendy restaurant. It was not the kind of place I would normally go, but I'm trying to be open to new experiences. Isn't that what dating is all about? He had made a reservation and we were seated as soon as we arrived, while other people had to wait for a table.

“They know me around here,” he bragged.

We sat down and the waitress, who did not seem to know him at all, handed us our menus.

“We don't need that,” he proclaimed. “We'll take two dao xiao mian, two wonton soups and some hunhe shucai.”

I don't mind if someone orders for me, but I generally prefer it when they know the first thing about me. This guy had absolutely no idea what I like or don't like. I could hate bok choy or be allergic to the peanuts in the noodles. Thankfully, I'm not, but my date never knew that. You want the first date to go well. My favorite food in the world could have been on that menu, but since he did not know me, he could have ordered something I can't stand. Trying to impress someone can seriously backfire if you are too cocky.

He also tried to order in Chinese, which is a bad idea if you don't know Chinese. The people who work at the tourist restaurants will smile and try to figure out what you are trying to say, but at the local restaurants, they will look at you like you just ordered a monkey smoothie. They were used to foreigners at this restaurant, but they were too busy that night to smile and play along. I'm not complaining that my date did not speak Chinese. I don't know it as well as I thought I would have by now. It just seemed like he did it for my benefit, but all he did was show me how bad his Chinese was. If you want to impress me with a foreign language, speak Catalan or Swahili. Chinese is not all that rare around here.

Waiting for our food, I was fully prepared to play 20 questions. Isn't that what a first date is? You tell him your life story and he tells you his. Maybe I should just refer future dates to this blog. Maybe that is what first dates are now, reading each other's Facebook page.

What I was not expecting was for him to immediately whip it out. His phone, that is. Instead of asking me my favorite color and where I went to kindergarten, he had to update all of his social media statuses. Instead of talking about each other, or even just talking about himself, he talked to the internet.

I was immediately annoyed, but tried to be patient at first. These “smart phones” are my generation's technology, but I never got into it. I can appreciate what today's phones can do, but I think people should interact with the other people around them more than shut out the world and look at cat pictures.

When the food came, I thought he might put his phone down. This shows you how little I know about how important it is to show the internet pictures of every meal you eat. The good news was that he never tried to take any pictures of me. But while he was looking for the perfect angle to capture the oil glistening off his fried vegetables, I casually got up and walked out of the restaurant.

At least half an hour later, I got a text message.

Him: where r u
Me: I don't know what that means.
Him: where are you
Me: What difference does it make? I left an hour ago and you just noticed.
Him: (some kind of smiley face)
Him: r we hooking up l8r
Me: I don't know how to do a “not in a million years” laughing emoticon on this thing.
Him: i dont get it
Him: (cartoon question mark)
Me: No harm, no foul. Enjoy your phone.

Call me old fashioned, but I think you should date for a few years before you ignore each other in public.

Taipei Audition

I went to Taipei for an audition last Thursday. The part was not what I expected and I will turn it down if offered. But since I was in Taipei anyway, I made a long weekend of it.

The first time I went to Taipei, I stayed at the Home Hotel, a nice boutique hotel in the Xinyi neighborhood. The second time, I stayed at a business hotel in Zhongzheng. This time, I was at the Howard Plaza at Zhongxiao Fuxing, no relation to Howard Johnson. It was another standard business hotel with rooms that look like every other business hotel, but it was in an interesting neighborhood.

The hotel is a large cube with an empty cavern in the center. All the hallways and room doors face the empty space. There is also a large dining area on the ground floor. It looks like a nice place to eat, but sitting at the bottom of a cavern is not ideal if you want a quiet meal. It might be better to eat in an echo chamber. The hotel breakfast was acceptable, but after Tel Aviv, I am ruined forever. The Tel Aviv hotel had the best breakfast I have ever had anywhere. I'm still trying to figure out how to make shakshuka with the spices I brought home.

Food on this trip was not a problem since this was in the middle of Taipei. The Zhongxiao Fuxing neighborhood is basically shopping and food with a large MRT station that will get you anywhere in the city. There are two Sogo department stores across the street from each other, connected by a subway mall. The back alleys around the larger streets are full of restaurants, mostly Taiwanese and Chinese, but there were a few Japanese and Thai. One of the best things about the neighborhood was the lack of American restaurants. There was a McDonald's and Starbucks, of course. Those are everywhere. But any neighborhood without a single KFC is a huge plus.

The hotel is an easy walk to Da'an Park, a nice green place to walk around in the middle of the hustle and bustle. It is about as big as Kowloon Park, without all the buildings. This is the kind of park I would use for a morning run if it were not 99% humidity every day.

Just west of Da'an Park is the 228 Peace Park and Chiang Kai Shek Memorial, which is also called Democracy Memorial Park. I'm pretty sure Chiang Kai Shek Memorial is not the official name anymore, but that's what everyone calls it. Either way, I stayed in the Zhongzheng neighborhood last time, so I already saw it.

Not far east of Zhongxiao Fuxing is Xinyi. That is where I stayed the first time and I seem to always go back. I don't care about the shopping, but they have the closest Krispy Kreme, and a nice bakery directly under one of the tallest buildings in the world.

Taipei has smaller parks along the Keelung River, and I wanted to check some of those out this time, but it rained pretty much the entire time I was in the city. Maybe someday I will go when it is dry. Or at least not soaking wet. If Taipei is anything like Hong Kong, it is never really dry.

The hotel had a clean swimming pool, but I did not bring a bathing suit. Walking around Taipei in June was almost like swimming.