Winter in Winnipeg part 3

Yesterday was the burial. Lily's family is not especially religious, so there was no traditional funeral. The memorial service was at the funeral home after the burial. It was nice, as far as that sort of thing goes. Lily's father is genuinely missed. I think that is the most you can ask for after you have gone. If people mourn you, you did something right. Funerals are always sad, but if no one shows up, that must be heartbreaking to the surviving spouse. It felt like the whole town showed up for this guy. I never met him, but from what everyone said about him, he sounds like someone I would have liked.

The weather has been getting colder since I arrived, but there was never any snow until later last night, and barely any of it. It was dark and gloomy during the burial, but that was appropriate. It is snowing now, but it was pretty mild yesterday.

After the memorial service, some of us went to Lily's parents' house. I had never been, so I was curious to see where Lily grew up. Her childhood neighborhood could have been mine. It was the same suburban middle class block a world away but pretty close to the hustle and bustle of downtown. Their houses are smaller and much closer together. We had more trees everywhere. Their houses are right on top of each other, so there is less room for trees. But the streets look exactly the same. Our street signs were small and green while theirs are large and white – and in French and English – but if you saw a picture of my street and a picture of hers, you would never know they were different countries.

When people talk about nature versus nurture, I generally take the nurture side. How you are raised has a greater affect on who you become than where you were raised, within reasonable limits. Obviously, someone born in Scarsdale is going to live a different life from someone born in Mumbai. But Lily and I grew up in practically the same neighborhood, though with different nationalities. Minnesota and Manitoba have a lot in common, as far as climate, geography, culture and food. We met in Hong Kong, but we grew up 400 miles apart. To put it another way, there are only 15,000 lakes between her childhood home and mine. By Minnesota/Manitoba standards, that is practically right next door. It should be no wonder we get along so well.

But the nurture side of our childhoods were world's apart. Her parents did nothing to remind me of my parents, and her home life was nothing like mine.

Regardless of whatever happened in the past, Lily is spending the night in my hotel in the present. She has been at her parents' house for a month and needs a break. She stayed with her mother after the funeral, but now she needs to do whatever she wants to do. My job is to be with her wherever she needs to be. Plus, the hotel has an indoor heated swimming pool. That is never a bad thing.