Romance In the Air

I just got back from Amsterdam, and once again, I went during a holiday and there was no snow. It never dipped below zero at night or below 10 degrees in the daytime. Even if it had been cold enough, it was simply too dry. There was some fog one day, but it was mostly sunny. The holiday part is a stretch.

My last visit to Amsterdam was during Christmas. That is a major holiday in that part of the world, and where I come from. It was nice to spend Christmas in a place that actually celebrates Christmas. This time, it was Valentine's Day, which is not a real holiday anywhere in the world. China has two Valentine's Days, the chocolate and greeting card day and a real festival on the 7th day of the 7th month, called Qixi. Neither is a national holiday.

I spent Valentine's Day at Hong Kong Airport. My flight left in the afternoon, so I had to be there in the morning. No matter what I do to make everything faster, it still takes all day. If I have to check in at the airport, I try to use the self check-in machines, but that is not always an option, depending on the airline. More often than not, I check in at the Airport Express. That is simply easier than checking in at the airport, and the lines are always shorter. Plus, if you have luggage, you can drop it off at the station and not drag it around on the train or through the airport. Unfortunately, I could never use that when I worked in Tel Aviv because I always flew El Al, and they have their own procedure. With Amsterdam, I should always be able to check in at Kowloon Station.

Getting through immigration is the easiest thing in the world since I use the e-channel, but even in the traditional giant snake line, it never really takes that long. It always moves, no matter how long the line is. That might be the most organized part of Hong Kong Airport.

No matter what steps you take to get to security and how quickly you move through the process, you will always come to a dead stop as soon as you stand in line to get your bags x-rayed. Part of the problem is that every single bag has to be scanned. An even bigger part of the problem is that no one in 2019, after all these years, seems to know that they are waiting in line to get their crap x-rayed. Whether waiting in line for ten minutes or an hour, no one in front of me is ever prepared to put their crap in the bins that go on the conveyor belt, and they all have to be told not to cram through the metal detector in flocks. It baffles me. Can it possibly be everyone's first time at an airport every time I go? I can only imagine how tedious it is for security to constantly remind people all day, every day about the same things they should already know by now.

Waiting for the plane is easy because I try to get to the airport as late as I possibly can without getting there too late. Getting on the plane is even easier since I usually fly business class for work. Economy is a nightmare. In Hong Kong, they never load everyone in zones. Instead, they announce that it is time to board and 300 people all stampede to be the first on the plane, as if it is going to leave without them if they come in second. Business class is always treated better by the airlines. If you can get someone else to pay the bill, all the better.

But even on business class, through the e-channel, with a local ID and checking in off site, spending less than a day at the airport seems impossible. While some people spent Valentine's Day at restaurants, in bed, with chocolate or too much alcohol, I spent it at the airport. For my Valentine's Day dinner, I had microwaved rice and vegetables in douchi sauce. But since it was business class, they served their slop in porcelain bowls instead of plastic.