New Driver's License part 1

Sooner or later, you have to get a driver's license. I had one when I lived in Hong Kong, even though I rarely drove in Hong Kong. I think I drove in Mainland China more than I drove in Hong Kong. But on either side of the border, you need a license. I also try to drive as much as I can whenever I go to other countries. An international permit only works in conjunction with a valid license, and I let my Minnesota license expire a long time ago. Having a Hong Kong license was the only option that made any sense. So even though I had no car and no real need for a license in Hong Kong, I got one. It was pretty easy.

I have no need for a driver's license in Kaohsiung. I have no car and have yet to drive at all in this city. I could rent a car with my Hong Kong license and international permit, though that would likely confuse the people at the rental counter. I can show a license and ID from Hong Kong, but if they want to see my passport, that would bring a third country into the mix. If I really wanted to confuse them I could show my Taiwan ID. But if I have a Taiwan ID, I should not be using an international permit and license from some other country. Hence my new driver's license.

The procedure for getting a driver's license in Taiwan is pretty similar to Hong Kong. You take a written test, you take a driving test and they put your picture on a card. The practice is wildly different.

In Hong Kong, I took the written test in English. I figured, since it was offered, why not. I know English. It was easy. If you know basic rules of the road and a few China specifics, you can pass the written test. Just keep in mind that left and right are reversed in Hong Kong. That part is easier for people from the United Kingdom of South India and Australia Africa.

The driving test was pretty much like the driving test in Minnesota. You drive around, go where the guy tells you to go and don't hit anything. But the roads of Hong Kong are infinitely more dangerous than the roads of Minnesota. Being a good driver in Minnesota is nothing like being a good driver in Hong Kong. In China, defensive driving is not a suggestion. It is an absolute requirement if you want to live. Sooner than later, someone else on the road will go out of their way to kill you. You can practically fall asleep while driving in Minnesota, as long as you know what is in front of you. If you are not fully aware of everyone from every direction at all times in China, you will die.

In Taiwan, I started to take the written test in English. I figured, since it was offered, why not. I quickly realized why not. It is a computer test, so you don't see the next question until you have answered the last question. That was why it took me a while to figure out how messed up the test was going to be. Knowing the basic rules of the road was not an issue. The problem was whoever translated the questions into English does not know English.

The following are actual questions on the test.

True or false:

I make discover from two passenger whisper conversation are the drug dealer, to helping my country I must take at police stations therefor not allow them escape.

If true, it is my legal responsibility to detain dangerous criminals. I never signed up for that.

When green light say pass driver should attention of car and pedestrian illegal going in red light easily cause accidence.

This might seem like an easy one, but the correct answer is false. Drivers should not pay attention to anyone running the red light, according to the driving test. Maybe this explains why no one does.


Multiple choice:

If car driver is found snack on road will punished (1) find number plate will detaine 3 month (2) find roadway safety lecture (3) find roadway safety lecture number plate will detaine 3 month.

This could be interpreted as saying that eating while driving is illegal, but I looked it up and it is not. Holding your phone while driving is illegal. Eating is perfectly acceptable. But apparently, it is illegal to find a snack on the road.

If driver wish uphold national honor, promote social state ability, family happiness (1) say no on them (2) drive after serious accidence with car (3) double passenger fee.

What? I like to think I am pretty good at translating Chinglish into something legible, but I have no idea what this means.

I stopped taking the test after the national honor question and asked the clerk if I could start over again in Chinese. She was surprised that I did not understand the English, but agreed that it would be better to start over than to fail and have to wait a week to take the test again.

The Chinese version was straightforward. Anyone who knows basic rules of the road and a few Taiwan specifics can pass the test. And none of the questions on the Chinese version mentioned snacks.