Thursday, January 31, 2013

New Year Trip part 1

I finally have some good news to report. Ryan & I are taking a trip. He’s getting some time off and rather than just come to Hong Kong while I work, I’m taking some time off and we’re going somewhere away from China. We don’t know where yet. I don’t really care. The point is to spend time together. We haven’t seen each other in forever.

All we know is that the trip will be after the Chinese New Year. We both have to work during it. It’s the busiest time of year for me. It’s too expensive to go anywhere during Chinese New Year anyway. Since most Chinese people are traveling, everything costs a lot more. I always volunteer to work extra hours since the holiday doesn’t really mean anything to me and it’s the single most important holiday for most of my coworkers. I cover as many of their shifts as I can so they can spend more time with their families.

Disneyland isn’t the worst place in the world to be during the Chinese New Year. They pull out all the stops and it’s a pretty fun atmosphere. We’re always supposed to be on. The happiest place on Earth and all that, but you can’t be peppy and sparkly all the time. It’s a lot easier when they throw a giant party.

They also go extra crazy with the fireworks, but I’m kind of burned out on fireworks right now. You can see fireworks every night in Hong Kong. It’s nothing special when it happens all the time.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bad Dream

I had a terrible dream last night. It wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare.

Usually I dream about my career or Ryan. Lately, I’ll dream about the movie I did. I usually have a much bigger and better part in my dreams. Sometimes I dream about being in completely different movies. The funny thing is, I’m not always the star. Outside of dreamland, working in the theater, I like playing supporting parts. The best playwrights save their best characters for supporting roles. I think it has a lot to do with prima donnas who always have to be the star. I’ve been having lots of dreams about making movies lately.

I dream about Ryan a lot because we never see each other. We talk at least once a day, sometimes more, but we haven’t seen each other in person in 11 weeks.

Those are good dreams. Usually only good things happen and I’m always happy waking up from those dreams.

This one was a nightmare.

Lily & I are on some beach I don’t recognize. It probably doesn’t exist. We are just hanging out and talking about whatever comes up, when a group of five middle-aged Chinese men approach us. It is ominous right from the start. There might be dissonant music playing. In the real world, Chinese men are not at all threatening, and they generally travel in packs, so it’s not at all unusual to see a group coming toward you. In my dream, I know right away this is bad. They are walking right to us with purpose, not just walking by.

I should probably point out that even though these men were Chinese, they did not look Chinese at all. They were white and looked like they or their ancestors were from northern Europe, but more Denmark than Sweden. I don’t know if that makes my subconscious less racist or more.

The Chinese leader of the group snaps his fingers and one of the other men takes out a knife and holds it up to Lily’s throat. Chinese Leader tells us to stay calm. If anyone screams, Lily will die. Naturally, we keep quiet. There is no one else on the beach to help us anyway. Chinese Leader explains what their plan is and what he expects us to do.

He says they are all going to take turns with me. None of them is going to come inside me. They are saving that for later, but he does not say what. If we cooperate, we will get out of there in one piece. If we cause problems, they will start cutting us up. While he is explaining their plan, one of the men keeps his knife at Lily’s throat and another takes off my bikini. I want to stop him. Every instinct I have tells me to push him away, but I know they will kill Lily. It takes all of my self-control to stand still. Once I am naked, a different man takes off Lily’s bikini. I stand still to keep from going primal. She has to stay still to keep the knife from cutting her throat.

Chinese Leader motions to one of the other men, who then grabs my hair and pulls me down to the sand. Someone hands Chinese Leader a ridiculously oversized tube of lubricant and he starts rubbing it all over me, everywhere. He takes his time spreading lube on my legs and stomach. He lubes up my breasts, which is no big surprise, but also rubs lubricant all over my arms. I can not understand the point of that. He gets hard while lubing up my belly button. I almost laugh because it is so strange. I want to laugh because his penis is so small, but I know that will only be bad for Lily.

Chinese Leader hovers over me, already tired from all that lubricating. He pushes himself inside me and I almost feel a sense of relief. Up to that point, it is mostly fear of the unknown, like being in a hostage situation and never knowing when or how it is all going to end. At least now I know that once it starts, it cannot last very long.

Chinese Leader tells his friends that I am very tight and announces that I must be a virgin. They all seem pretty happy.

“We finally found one,” Chinese #2 says.

Lily and I look at each other, knowing they have done this before.

Chinese Leader cannot last any longer, so he gets up and walks away. Chinese #2 gets on top of me and Chinese Leader forces his cock into Lily’s mouth. He tells her to taste me and Chinese #3 says that she probably already has. They all laugh.

“She is most definitely a virgin,” Chinese #2 says while inside me.

“Not anymore,” Chinese #3 says, and they all laugh about that as well.

Chinese #2 cannot last very long and Chinese #3 gets on top of me. While he is there, Chinese #4 forces his stubby shaft into Lily’s mouth. They soon switch places, alternating between Lily and me. When Chinese #3 stands up to watch, Chinese #4 also stands back and everyone watches Chinese #5 push himself on me.

When everyone has finally had a turn, they all stand around me in a circle.

“Banzai,” Chinese Leader shouts, leading me to believe they might be Japanese rather than Chinese.

This is their signal and everyone comes on my head and face in unison. After everyone is spent, Chinese Leader turns to Lily and I realize that no one has held a knife to her in some time.

“Thanks again,” Chinese Leader says to Lily and smiles.

When Lily smiles back, my heart sinks deep into my chest and I lose all the air in my lungs.

“That is correct,” Chinese Leader says. “She was in on it the whole time.”

Her betrayal is far more painful than anything else that happened. Being attacked by a gang of Chinese Danes is horrendous, but knowing that Lily set it all up is a million times worse. I want to cry, but my eyes are burning dry. I want to scream, but nothing can come out. Finally, thankfully, I wake up.

I felt sick. I can usually shake off bad dreams because they’re just dreams. I was safe and sound in my bed. I was in a tiny room in my tiny apartment, nowhere near the beach. No one else was around and nothing bad happened to me. In another frame of mind, it could have been interpreted as a happy orgy dream with a group of studs satisfying my every whim, but even the idea that Lily would do something like that made me feel like throwing up.

I know she didn’t really do anything. It was just a dream, but it stayed in my mind for a long time. I’m still thinking about it.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Three's a Crowd

Sometimes I think three people are too many in a tiny Hong Kong apartment. I love Lily to death and Kevin platonically, but sometimes, not often, I want them to leave. I don’t want to live alone, but I want some personal space and privacy from time to time.

Kevin came into the bathroom to pee while I was taking a shower twice already. We’ve had other bathroom issues. I’ve walked in on him and he’s walked in on me. Fortunately, when I’m on the toilet, all you can see is me sitting down. There’s nothing exciting about it. My legs hold no big secrets. When he’s standing in front of the toilet, you can see plenty. And I mean plenty.

We have a simple rule about the bathroom door. When it’s closed, don’t come in. The door doesn’t lock. It’s designed to, but the lock is broken. I’ve tried to get the manager to fix it. Lily & Kevin have tried to get the manager to fix it. We don’t know how to fix it ourselves.

Kevin has a hard time with this door rule. While he was growing up, everyone left the bathroom door open. I guess they just walked in on each other all the time. That’s not the way I grew up at all. I’m not used to people walking in on me when I’m in the bathroom. I had a hard enough time when Ryan used to do it, and now I’m dealing with Kevin. I don’t know why guys can’t understand what a closed door is. And it’s not only roommates. There are a few unisex public restrooms spread around Hong Kong that only hold one person at a time, usually in smaller restaurants. Fortunately, all of those doors lock. Any time I have ever been in one and someone pounded on the door, confused as to why it was locked, it was always a man. For whatever reason, I’ve never come across a woman who does not understand why the door is locked. Most men probably do, but some can’t seem to grasp the concept. The door is locked. What do you think that means?

My tiny apartment has a tiny bathroom. There’s no room for more than one person even if I wanted more people in there with me. The shower is right next to the toilet. There’s just a curtain separating them. If you’re one of those people with a penis, you could urinate from the shower without missing the toilet. I’ve seen Ryan do it. That was only after I complained about him peeing in the shower. Ironically, he could aim without missing from the shower, but standing directly in front of the toilet was always hit and miss. On the other side of the toilet is the sink. That’s it. This is not a five star apartment.

Technically, you can fit another person if one is in the shower, but the shower curtain doesn’t hide nearly enough for my taste. We had a darker one, but it was too dark and got moldy after only a couple of weeks. You can’t really see through the current one, but you can tell if someone’s naked. It’s more translucent than transparent. I would prefer opaque. I suppose it’s always obvious that someone’s naked when they’re taking a shower, but that doesn’t mean I want an audience.

You can also hear the water running throughout the apartment whenever someone’s taking a shower, so that should tell them not to come in. Maybe guys can’t figure that part out.

The first time Kevin walked in on my shower, he said he really had to go and if I didn’t let him in, he would have to use the kitchen sink. I don’t want him peeing two feet away from me taking a shower, but I don’t want him peeing in the kitchen sink either. I quickly wrapped a towel around myself and waited in the bedroom while he did what he had to do. It was the opposite of convenient.

The second time, I had shampoo in my hair and couldn’t leave fast enough for him. I don’t know why he has the bladder of an 80-year-old woman. When I rinsed my hair, I could see his dick through the curtain. It was blurry, but anyone could easily tell what it was. I guess he could see that I was looking because he said that I’ve already seen it and I’m welcome to watch him pee any time. I told him that I should tell Lily and he said she got that invitation a long time ago. I don’t know what it is with guys wanting people to watch them pee. I’ve never known any girl anywhere in the world who wanted to be watched on the toilet.

You can spray urine out of your penis. Congratulations. That’s nothing amazing. Let me know when diamonds come out of there.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Online Offline

They also shut off the water a lot. I really don’t understand this at all. I’ve been told it’s to clean the pipes or water tanks, but I’ve also been told it’s to fix or adjust the water pressure. The water pressure in my apartment is good enough. I don’t need them to play around with it, but if they’re cleaning something, then by all means, do it. Hong Kong water isn’t all the clean to begin with, so any dirty pipes aren’t going to help.

I’ve been drinking tap water all my life, but the first thing I was told about Hong Kong was to not drink the water. It’s clean enough to wash with and I’ve been brushing my teeth with Hong Kong tap water for almost two years, so I hope it’s ok, but I’ve never tried to drink it.

What I don’t understand is why they have to turn off the water so often. I could understand once a year, but they’ve done it a dozen times since I’ve been in this apartment. The worst part is that they mostly do it when I’m home. They usually turn it off during the week. Maybe because that’s when most people are at work. That’s probably a good idea, but I work weekends, so my days off are weekdays, and they always manage to turn it off just before or while I’m using it. It wouldn’t be so bad if the water was off for an hour or two, but they turn off the water for a full day. It’s usually between 08:00 and 18:00.

I like having running water in my apartment. I use water all the time. When it’s off, there are a lot of things I can’t do, or that I have to do at some other time. Sometimes I really realize how much of a spoiled American I am. I don’t want to schedule my day around whether I’ll have water or not.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Offline Online

I finally got the internet turned back on. It was off and I still don’t know why. No one can answer that question. The TV also goes off all the time, but I still get to pay the full bill. Sometimes the internet shuts off for no reason. It can be off for minutes, hours or even days. The attitude of everyone seems to be that this is simply the way it is. I think I should get a discount when I don’t get a full month’s service, but they never seem to agree with me.

The internet never shuts off while I’m using it, but sometimes there is no connection when I try to go online. Then I have to make a few phone calls and eventually it’s back up and running. No one has ever explained to me why this happens. I don’t think it’s just poor customer service. I think no one really knows and they’re not too bothered about it.

When things shut off while Ryan is here, he gets mad. Especially if it’s the TV. He hates it when it shuts off for no reason while he’s watching some game. It’s always an important game, but they all seem to be important. I don’t get mad, but I do wonder why none of the people who work for these companies seem to care. They’re also customers and it must happen to them, too. It simply doesn’t seem to matter to them. I just want what I’m paying for.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Lily's Revenge Ideas

Lily came back to Hong Kong and we had a lot to talk about – her father’s health, this year’s Christmas show, my boyfriend getting a hand job from a Chinese prostitute – the usual.

Her father is doing well. The doctors say he will fully recover and be good as new in no time. He has to change his diet and start living a healthy lifestyle, but everyone should anyway.

The Christmas show is going to be “bigger and better than ever” this year. They always say that. Disneyland has special shows for Christmas, Chinese New Year, Halloween and summer. Each one is always supposed to be better than the last. Personally, I think Celebration in the Air started strong, but it got kind of routine after a while.

Lily & I were by ourselves at home drinking a little too much. I’m not a big drinker, but sometimes a drink or two at the end of a long week isn’t such a bad thing. A friend gave Lily a bottle of wine and we destroyed it. We’re both relatively thin – by American standards – though giants in China, and we hadn’t eaten in a while. We got tipsy pretty fast.

I told her about Ryan’s Chinese hand job massage. The more I talked about it, the more upset I got. I was ready to kick that whore’s ass, even though I have no idea who or where she is and I’m not a fighter at all. If I punched someone, I would probably hurt myself more than her.

Lily suggested we go to China and castrate Ryan in his sleep, but I thought that might be a bit too extreme. I wasn’t blaming Ryan. I was blaming the whore. I would miss Ryan’s dick far too much to do such a thing. Lily said I could keep it in a jar. This was all the wine talking. We would never do anything like that. So far.

I asked Lily what she would do if it were Kevin and she said castrate him in his sleep. So I set up a scenario for her. Let’s say Kevin is getting a normal harmless massage and suddenly she grabs his dick. How could he stop it before it happened? He’s a foreigner in China. He doesn’t know which places are legitimate and which are full of whores. I don’t know how you can tell the difference if you don’t really know the culture well. Barely speaking the language probably doesn’t help either.

Lily had to agree with me that it was the whore’s fault more than Ryan’s, but still thought Ryan should be punished. We tossed around a few ideas, some less realistic than others. We were also tossing back drinks at the time.

Lily suggested I tell Ryan that I got a massage from a guy who touched me in ways that would make Ryan’s head explode. I killed that idea with the obvious point that I would never do that, and Ryan knows it. He would never believe that I would let a strange man touch me like that.

Lily’s best idea was that we set up another massage appointment in Fuzhou for Ryan, but instead of a girl doing it, we make sure it’s a man. The last thing Ryan wants is some guy giving him a full body massage. Even a legitimate massage from a legitimate masseur would freak him out. But we couldn’t figure out how to arrange it. Even sober, I have no idea how to make something like that work. We don’t know who to call or where to go. It would be far too much effort for practically no reward.

Lily’s easiest idea was that we take a picture of me grabbing Kevin’s dick and send it to Ryan. The downside is that Ryan and Kevin’s friendship would be over. And there would be a picture out there of me grabbing a dick. That might not be the best thing for my career. I could also see myself sitting alone on the sofa while Lily & Kevin are in the bedroom after I got him hard. How is that revenge? It’s great for them, but it doesn’t do me any good.

Speaking of whores, I don’t take issue with the way the whore in Fuzhou makes her living. Everybody has to do what they have to do to survive. This is not a fair world, and if you’re born on the lowest rung of the ladder, moving up will never be easy. Having said that, there must be thousands of foreigners in China, and millions of locals, who would be more than happy to get a little tug at the end of their massage. Just stay the hell away from my boyfriend.