Bad Dream

I had a terrible dream last night. It wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare.

Usually I dream about my career or Ryan. Lately, I’ll dream about the movie I did. I usually have a much bigger and better part in my dreams. Sometimes I dream about being in completely different movies. The funny thing is, I’m not always the star. Outside of dreamland, working in the theater, I like playing supporting parts. The best playwrights save their best characters for supporting roles. I think it has a lot to do with prima donnas who always have to be the star. I’ve been having lots of dreams about making movies lately.

I dream about Ryan a lot because we never see each other. We talk at least once a day, sometimes more, but we haven’t seen each other in person in 11 weeks.

Those are good dreams. Usually only good things happen and I’m always happy waking up from those dreams.

This one was a nightmare.

Lily & I are on some beach I don’t recognize. It probably doesn’t exist. We are just hanging out and talking about whatever comes up, when a group of five middle-aged Chinese men approach us. It is ominous right from the start. There might be dissonant music playing. In the real world, Chinese men are not at all threatening, and they generally travel in packs, so it’s not at all unusual to see a group coming toward you. In my dream, I know right away this is bad. They are walking right to us with purpose, not just walking by.

I should probably point out that even though these men were Chinese, they did not look Chinese at all. They were white and looked like they or their ancestors were from northern Europe, but more Denmark than Sweden. I don’t know if that makes my subconscious less racist or more.

The Chinese leader of the group snaps his fingers and one of the other men takes out a knife and holds it up to Lily’s throat. Chinese Leader tells us to stay calm. If anyone screams, Lily will die. Naturally, we keep quiet. There is no one else on the beach to help us anyway. Chinese Leader explains what their plan is and what he expects us to do.

He says they are all going to take turns with me. None of them is going to come inside me. They are saving that for later, but he does not say what. If we cooperate, we will get out of there in one piece. If we cause problems, they will start cutting us up. While he is explaining their plan, one of the men keeps his knife at Lily’s throat and another takes off my bikini. I want to stop him. Every instinct I have tells me to push him away, but I know they will kill Lily. It takes all of my self-control to stand still. Once I am naked, a different man takes off Lily’s bikini. I stand still to keep from going primal. She has to stay still to keep the knife from cutting her throat.

Chinese Leader motions to one of the other men, who then grabs my hair and pulls me down to the sand. Someone hands Chinese Leader a ridiculously oversized tube of lubricant and he starts rubbing it all over me, everywhere. He takes his time spreading lube on my legs and stomach. He lubes up my breasts, which is no big surprise, but also rubs lubricant all over my arms. I can not understand the point of that. He gets hard while lubing up my belly button. I almost laugh because it is so strange. I want to laugh because his penis is so small, but I know that will only be bad for Lily.

Chinese Leader hovers over me, already tired from all that lubricating. He pushes himself inside me and I almost feel a sense of relief. Up to that point, it is mostly fear of the unknown, like being in a hostage situation and never knowing when or how it is all going to end. At least now I know that once it starts, it cannot last very long.

Chinese Leader tells his friends that I am very tight and announces that I must be a virgin. They all seem pretty happy.

“We finally found one,” Chinese #2 says.

Lily and I look at each other, knowing they have done this before.

Chinese Leader cannot last any longer, so he gets up and walks away. Chinese #2 gets on top of me and Chinese Leader forces his cock into Lily’s mouth. He tells her to taste me and Chinese #3 says that she probably already has. They all laugh.

“She is most definitely a virgin,” Chinese #2 says while inside me.

“Not anymore,” Chinese #3 says, and they all laugh about that as well.

Chinese #2 cannot last very long and Chinese #3 gets on top of me. While he is there, Chinese #4 forces his stubby shaft into Lily’s mouth. They soon switch places, alternating between Lily and me. When Chinese #3 stands up to watch, Chinese #4 also stands back and everyone watches Chinese #5 push himself on me.

When everyone has finally had a turn, they all stand around me in a circle.

“Banzai,” Chinese Leader shouts, leading me to believe they might be Japanese rather than Chinese.

This is their signal and everyone comes on my head and face in unison. After everyone is spent, Chinese Leader turns to Lily and I realize that no one has held a knife to her in some time.

“Thanks again,” Chinese Leader says to Lily and smiles.

When Lily smiles back, my heart sinks deep into my chest and I lose all the air in my lungs.

“That is correct,” Chinese Leader says. “She was in on it the whole time.”

Her betrayal is far more painful than anything else that happened. Being attacked by a gang of Chinese Danes is horrendous, but knowing that Lily set it all up is a million times worse. I want to cry, but my eyes are burning dry. I want to scream, but nothing can come out. Finally, thankfully, I wake up.

I felt sick. I can usually shake off bad dreams because they’re just dreams. I was safe and sound in my bed. I was in a tiny room in my tiny apartment, nowhere near the beach. No one else was around and nothing bad happened to me. In another frame of mind, it could have been interpreted as a happy orgy dream with a group of studs satisfying my every whim, but even the idea that Lily would do something like that made me feel like throwing up.

I know she didn’t really do anything. It was just a dream, but it stayed in my mind for a long time. I’m still thinking about it.