Being a foreigner in a strange country only makes the concept of dating all the more interesting. Expat dating has to be one of the strangest forms of courtship invented by man. People move to other parts of the world but bring their old perceptions and stereotypes with them.
Men from my country seem to assume that women in China are going to be docile and obey their every deviant sexual request. Real Chinese women could not be any further from the American fantasy. Every Chinese woman I know has an opinion and is not the least bit shy about expressing it. If you are paying a prostitute to pretend to be your sex slave, that's one thing, but if you want a real sex slave, you might want to look outside of China.
American women dating Chinese men is just as difficult, mostly for the opposite reasons. American women, in the broadest general terms, want independent men. Chinese men, in my very limited experience, are not the most independent people in the world. There is probably a reason China has always been ruled by dictators. Conforming and fitting in are popular concepts in China. When people around here buy the latest cell phone, winter coat or suitcase, it is the exact same model that everyone else is buying this week.
Then there is marriage. I'm not anywhere close to even thinking about getting married some day, but I don't like the idea of dating someone who can't marry me eventually if that is the hole we both happen to fall down. It's like eating a great meal when you have the stomach flu and you know everything is going to come back up pretty soon.
In Chinese society, if a Chinese woman marries a white man, her parents might be heartbroken, but her friends think she hit the jackpot. If a Chinese man marries a white woman, his family will disown him. I'm not designed to be something someone brags to his friends about but can't take home to his mother. In my experience, the mothers usually like me more than the friends.
Fortunately, Hong Kong is an international city. There are people here from pretty much all over the world. We have men in all shapes, sizes, colors, makes and models. This city is a diversity smorgasbord. But I never liked all you can eat buffets.
What are the top 3 things you look for in a guy?
ReplyDeleteI'm not even sure anymore. My last 2 boyfriends were pretty similar, so I suppose I need to move on to something different.
ReplyDeleteIf we're talking personality traits then the ability to laugh at himself and all the crazy around him is pretty important.
Compassion is also a big deal. My best friends are all people who care about people.
I think the older I get, the more I see adaptability as a pretty important thing. Change happens, like it or not. The more we try to fight the things beyond our control, the more it hurts us.
Should girls ask boys out?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely.
ReplyDelete