I have three jobs, technically, and now I have been offered a fourth. Of course, to take the fourth job, I will have to take a vacation from two and quit one. So I will go from three jobs to three. That is still more than anyone really needs.
A lot of people are unemployed. I keep reading about how the economy is getting better, but I don't see that when I talk to people who are looking for work. Statistically, things might be better than they were in 2009, but if you don't have a job, how does it help you if unemployment is at 6% instead of 10%? People love to talk about percentages, especially during an election year. But when you are out of work, unemployment for you is steady at 100%.
Americans complain that all of their jobs have been outsourced to Asia. There is probably some truth in that. But it's not like there are a lot of jobs floating around Asia. Unemployment rates in East Asia are usually pretty low, but those government figures only include citizens. The unemployment rate for foreigners has to be at least 50%, from what I have seen. Japan makes foreigners jump through all kinds of hoops, China wants people who speak Chinese, and Thailand and Indonesia bend over backwards to make it difficult for foreigners to find jobs. There is a Thailand government website with a list of jobs that are not eligible for visas. It's a long list.
Lily can always find work here, but it is not steady and it does not provide a visa to stay in the country. She needs one of those stable jobs that are so hard to find these days. I can't just give her one of my jobs. The only one she is qualified for is the one she left. Things are pretty bad when you think about it. She has found work for me in the past, but there is nothing I can do for her.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Who's Afraid of Jerusalem?
I just had one of the most interesting phone conversations of my life. The director of this movie in Jerusalem called me and we talked about it. You could say it was a phone interview, but that is not how people audition in this business. It is definitely not how I have ever gotten a part. They always want to see you face to face. Hearing someone's voice while looking at their headshot tells the casting director absolutely nothing.
We tried to do Skype, but that did not work out. I don't know how well Skype works in Israel, but in China, it is always hit and miss. It only took a few disconnections for the director to suggest we talk on the phone.
I have definitely been offered the part. No further auditions are necessary. Apparently, the producer I met in Hong Kong has enough pull and the director liked my “American attitude”.
Why would they even want me in the first place? That's a good question. The character is an American who goes to Jerusalem and disrupts the lives of the main characters. I think I can play American. She is also a dancer. There is only one dance scene, but it is pivotal, so they want someone who can actually dance rather than an actor who can learn a few basic moves.
How did I even get the part? That's a more interesting question. One of the producers is in Hong Kong on vacation. He saw me dance onstage and wanted me to fly to Jerusalem for an audition. To make life easier, I suggested he come watch me play Honey. That was my audition. The character in this movie is nothing like Honey, but she is a similar outsider who does not fit in with everyone else. If I go to Jerusalem to film a movie, I think I could play an outsider who does not fit in.
I still have not signed anything, but from talking to the director, he seems to think it is a done deal. A million things can still go wrong, but it looks like I might be taking a trip to Jerusalem in the near future. Assuming I can do it without losing my day job.
We tried to do Skype, but that did not work out. I don't know how well Skype works in Israel, but in China, it is always hit and miss. It only took a few disconnections for the director to suggest we talk on the phone.
I have definitely been offered the part. No further auditions are necessary. Apparently, the producer I met in Hong Kong has enough pull and the director liked my “American attitude”.
Why would they even want me in the first place? That's a good question. The character is an American who goes to Jerusalem and disrupts the lives of the main characters. I think I can play American. She is also a dancer. There is only one dance scene, but it is pivotal, so they want someone who can actually dance rather than an actor who can learn a few basic moves.
How did I even get the part? That's a more interesting question. One of the producers is in Hong Kong on vacation. He saw me dance onstage and wanted me to fly to Jerusalem for an audition. To make life easier, I suggested he come watch me play Honey. That was my audition. The character in this movie is nothing like Honey, but she is a similar outsider who does not fit in with everyone else. If I go to Jerusalem to film a movie, I think I could play an outsider who does not fit in.
I still have not signed anything, but from talking to the director, he seems to think it is a done deal. A million things can still go wrong, but it looks like I might be taking a trip to Jerusalem in the near future. Assuming I can do it without losing my day job.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
A Bird of My Tongue
In the category of things that pretty much never happen to me, I was offered a part in a movie. It is a small part in a small movie, but this is a real production with real people who show up in Google searches. The catch, since there is always a catch in this business, is that they are filming it in Jerusalem.
The story takes place in Jerusalem and most of the people involved live in Jerusalem, so that makes perfect sense from their point of view. For me, that is not terribly convenient. Taking a day or two off work to do a movie in Hong Kong is one thing. Taking a few weeks off to fly to the other side of Asia is not ideal. And that's assuming they can film my part at the same time. They might want to do one scene one month and another scene in another month. That would not work out very well for me.
I have yet to read the script, so I don't know any details, but I think they want me because my personal situation is similar to the character. From an acting point of view, that only makes it easier. I can play me.
I also have not signed any contracts, so this might be much ado about nothing. But it is interesting to think about. I have only talked to one of who knows how many producers on this thing. Independent movies usually have multiple producers and/or financers who all want to be in charge. The guy I talked to might be on the low end of the totem pole. I'm a little worried I might get offered the part and fly all the way to Jerusalem only to be told that I still have to audition. The last thing you want to hear after a 12 hour flight is “we'll let you know”.
The story takes place in Jerusalem and most of the people involved live in Jerusalem, so that makes perfect sense from their point of view. For me, that is not terribly convenient. Taking a day or two off work to do a movie in Hong Kong is one thing. Taking a few weeks off to fly to the other side of Asia is not ideal. And that's assuming they can film my part at the same time. They might want to do one scene one month and another scene in another month. That would not work out very well for me.
I have yet to read the script, so I don't know any details, but I think they want me because my personal situation is similar to the character. From an acting point of view, that only makes it easier. I can play me.
I also have not signed any contracts, so this might be much ado about nothing. But it is interesting to think about. I have only talked to one of who knows how many producers on this thing. Independent movies usually have multiple producers and/or financers who all want to be in charge. The guy I talked to might be on the low end of the totem pole. I'm a little worried I might get offered the part and fly all the way to Jerusalem only to be told that I still have to audition. The last thing you want to hear after a 12 hour flight is “we'll let you know”.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Econ Yi Ling Yi
Lily is looking for a job. Unfortunately, this is not the best time to find work in Hong Kong. Most companies want Chinese people. Lily is most definitely not Chinese. There is no such thing as racial discrimination in China. You put your picture on your resume and if they don't like the way you look, they will not call you. That is perfectly legal here.
Chinese companies definitely do not look up to foreigners the way they used to. Once upon a time, hiring foreigners was a status symbol for a smaller company. Now that the locals are better trained and educated, hiring foreigners is considered a hassle. Foreigners almost always leave the country sooner or later. Even if they stick around for a while, they need more paperwork and almost always expect to be paid more. It is easier in every possible way for any company to hire locally.
The banking industry is hiring right now. Lily is not a banker. They also expect people to speak Chinese a lot more than they used to. Lily's Chinese is ok, but not good enough for high finance.
Lily's old job is no longer an option. She pretty much abandoned it without notice. That's not the kind of thing most employers go for. It is one thing if you work for someone who is understanding and can empathize with your situation. But Lily worked for a multibillion dollar international conglomerate. They tend to have rules that don't like to be broken.
I can't do anything to get her a job. I work for the corporation that she abandoned. I can't really do anything to get anyone a job anyway. Not only am I not high enough up the ladder, but you need a specific set of skills to work there. If you have those skills, you don't need my help.
Chinese companies definitely do not look up to foreigners the way they used to. Once upon a time, hiring foreigners was a status symbol for a smaller company. Now that the locals are better trained and educated, hiring foreigners is considered a hassle. Foreigners almost always leave the country sooner or later. Even if they stick around for a while, they need more paperwork and almost always expect to be paid more. It is easier in every possible way for any company to hire locally.
The banking industry is hiring right now. Lily is not a banker. They also expect people to speak Chinese a lot more than they used to. Lily's Chinese is ok, but not good enough for high finance.
Lily's old job is no longer an option. She pretty much abandoned it without notice. That's not the kind of thing most employers go for. It is one thing if you work for someone who is understanding and can empathize with your situation. But Lily worked for a multibillion dollar international conglomerate. They tend to have rules that don't like to be broken.
I can't do anything to get her a job. I work for the corporation that she abandoned. I can't really do anything to get anyone a job anyway. Not only am I not high enough up the ladder, but you need a specific set of skills to work there. If you have those skills, you don't need my help.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
The Prodigal Daughter
Lily is back in Hong Kong. She does not have a job, which means she does not have a visa to live here, but we are all just glad to have her back.
Canadians can stay in Hong Kong for 90 days without a visa. If she still does not have a job by the end of those 90 days, she will have to leave. The good news is that she can go to Macau or Japan or somewhere close and just turn around and come back. The bad news is that doing that every 90 days gets expensive after a while. And there is never any guarantee that they will let you back in. I have met people who live in Hong Kong and go on visa runs every 60 to 90 days. One of them has a visa for Mainland China, so he has it easy, but for everyone else, it gets pretty ridiculous. It is so much easier to just live here legally.
Unless you are British. They can stay for 6 months without a visa. Two visa runs a year would not be so bad at all. I usually leave town more than twice a year anyway.
Canadians can stay in Hong Kong for 90 days without a visa. If she still does not have a job by the end of those 90 days, she will have to leave. The good news is that she can go to Macau or Japan or somewhere close and just turn around and come back. The bad news is that doing that every 90 days gets expensive after a while. And there is never any guarantee that they will let you back in. I have met people who live in Hong Kong and go on visa runs every 60 to 90 days. One of them has a visa for Mainland China, so he has it easy, but for everyone else, it gets pretty ridiculous. It is so much easier to just live here legally.
Unless you are British. They can stay for 6 months without a visa. Two visa runs a year would not be so bad at all. I usually leave town more than twice a year anyway.
Monday, March 7, 2016
Wild Honey Pie
I will be playing Honey in a Central production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. Honey is not the best part, but the only other option is Martha, and that is the lead. I played Martha in a student production a lifetime ago, so I don't have to study as much as I would have to otherwise. Every production is different, and a different cast makes a different experience, but doing a play you have already done is always easier than taking on something new. This will be a very different experience from Pygmalion. Hopefully, in a lot of ways.
I kind of like Honey better anyway. Martha has a bigger part, but she is an annoying character to play. I love watching actors like Elizabeth Taylor in that role, but I would rather play the character who does not get the jokes. Playing someone in denial is more interesting to me than playing someone who lets it all hang out. You know who Martha is right away. She quotes Bette Davis as her opening line for a reason. There is always a little mystery in Honey.
I kind of like Honey better anyway. Martha has a bigger part, but she is an annoying character to play. I love watching actors like Elizabeth Taylor in that role, but I would rather play the character who does not get the jokes. Playing someone in denial is more interesting to me than playing someone who lets it all hang out. You know who Martha is right away. She quotes Bette Davis as her opening line for a reason. There is always a little mystery in Honey.
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Winter in Winnipeg part 6
I am back in Hong Kong. The flight from Hong Kong to Toronto last week was on time, but the flight from Toronto to Winnipeg was two and a half hours late. That is not a lot of time when you fly to the other side of the planet, but you notice the difference between arriving at 23:00 and 01:30 after 18 hours on planes. Picking a hotel right next to the airport was a great idea. The flight out of Winnipeg left in the morning, so even with delays, I was going to get home at a reasonable hour. Naturally, those flights were all on time. We actually landed in Hong Kong half an hour early.
It was an interesting trip. I had never flown across the world for a funeral before. It was more emotional than a standard vacation, but I enjoyed spending time with Lily and I got to see more of Winnipeg than I ever thought I would. Winnipeg has never been on my list of places to see, but is one of those cities that has a great deal more to it than you expect, especially when you have a native showing you around.
Lily took me to a lot of places, but one of the most interesting was the Forks, arguably Winnipeg's main downtown place to see and be seen. It was named after the bend where the two rivers meet and is where Winnipeg was founded. Today, it is basically the city's main public square. It is the starting point for a wide variety of outdoor activities, has the city's main market, a couple of museums and a few theaters. It is Winnipeg's Times Square and Central Park, combined into one much smaller and far less crowded site.
In warmer weather, there is a long walking and bicycle path along the river. At times like this, it is a frozen wonderland of ice skating, cross country skiing, toboggan runs and any other winter activity someone imagined.
Lily and I looked at the market, and pretty much everything else, but we spent most of our time skating. I don't remember the last time I went ice skating. We both grew up with it, but now we live in a place where there is never an inch of snow. If you want frozen water, you have to take it out of the refrigerator.
It was mostly sunny on the day we went, with a few clouds here and there, so there were more people than the rest of the week. It snowed the day before we went and was overcast the day after. Everyone knew this was the best time to be out on the river.
Not only was the river far more frozen than you will ever see in Hong Kong, but it was much colder. Lily has been in Winnipeg for a month, so she has adjusted to it. I never got the chance. I grew up with real winters, but this is the first time in years I have seen thermometers read negative in both Celsius and Fahrenheit. I saw one with -24°C/-11°F. After skating around for a while, I did not even notice. It was a beautifully sunny day.
We also went to a place called Sky Zone, a huge indoor space, basically the size of a warehouse, with large trampolines everywhere. There are different zones for different trampoline activities. They have sports on trampolines, games on trampolines and exercise on trampolines. The trampolines are huge and can fit enough people to play a game of trampoline volleyball.
Safety is a big issue at this place, so you can only go on trampolines based on your size and age. In other words, Lily and I were not bouncing around with children or sumo wrestlers. This is a family place, but you can't really do everything with your entire family. But it is all indoors, which is great on days when the sun refuses to shine. It never snowed much while I was in Winnipeg, but most days were overcast and it never got above freezing.
Since living in Hong Kong, I have taken trips to Europe in spring, Japan in autumn, Thailand in summer and Bali in winter, which was their summer. The closest I have ever come to a winter trip was Tokyo in November. The coldest that got was 10°C/50°F, and it only rained once.
Until now. I left Minnesota right after a blizzard and had not seen anything even close to a real winter since going to Winnipeg. Canada reminded me of home.
It was an interesting trip. I had never flown across the world for a funeral before. It was more emotional than a standard vacation, but I enjoyed spending time with Lily and I got to see more of Winnipeg than I ever thought I would. Winnipeg has never been on my list of places to see, but is one of those cities that has a great deal more to it than you expect, especially when you have a native showing you around.
Lily took me to a lot of places, but one of the most interesting was the Forks, arguably Winnipeg's main downtown place to see and be seen. It was named after the bend where the two rivers meet and is where Winnipeg was founded. Today, it is basically the city's main public square. It is the starting point for a wide variety of outdoor activities, has the city's main market, a couple of museums and a few theaters. It is Winnipeg's Times Square and Central Park, combined into one much smaller and far less crowded site.
In warmer weather, there is a long walking and bicycle path along the river. At times like this, it is a frozen wonderland of ice skating, cross country skiing, toboggan runs and any other winter activity someone imagined.
Lily and I looked at the market, and pretty much everything else, but we spent most of our time skating. I don't remember the last time I went ice skating. We both grew up with it, but now we live in a place where there is never an inch of snow. If you want frozen water, you have to take it out of the refrigerator.
It was mostly sunny on the day we went, with a few clouds here and there, so there were more people than the rest of the week. It snowed the day before we went and was overcast the day after. Everyone knew this was the best time to be out on the river.
Not only was the river far more frozen than you will ever see in Hong Kong, but it was much colder. Lily has been in Winnipeg for a month, so she has adjusted to it. I never got the chance. I grew up with real winters, but this is the first time in years I have seen thermometers read negative in both Celsius and Fahrenheit. I saw one with -24°C/-11°F. After skating around for a while, I did not even notice. It was a beautifully sunny day.
We also went to a place called Sky Zone, a huge indoor space, basically the size of a warehouse, with large trampolines everywhere. There are different zones for different trampoline activities. They have sports on trampolines, games on trampolines and exercise on trampolines. The trampolines are huge and can fit enough people to play a game of trampoline volleyball.
Safety is a big issue at this place, so you can only go on trampolines based on your size and age. In other words, Lily and I were not bouncing around with children or sumo wrestlers. This is a family place, but you can't really do everything with your entire family. But it is all indoors, which is great on days when the sun refuses to shine. It never snowed much while I was in Winnipeg, but most days were overcast and it never got above freezing.
Since living in Hong Kong, I have taken trips to Europe in spring, Japan in autumn, Thailand in summer and Bali in winter, which was their summer. The closest I have ever come to a winter trip was Tokyo in November. The coldest that got was 10°C/50°F, and it only rained once.
Until now. I left Minnesota right after a blizzard and had not seen anything even close to a real winter since going to Winnipeg. Canada reminded me of home.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Winter in Winnipeg part 5
I voted today. That in itself is not so interesting, except that this was definitely the first time I voted in Canada while living in China. As an absentee voter, I could have sent in my ballot earlier, but I waited on purpose. I wanted to see what happened in this circus election.
I am not going to say who I voted for. As soon as you talk about politics, people go crazy. I can't say if this is the most divisive time in American history. Since we are not currently in a state of civil war, it is probably not. But with the internet and a million talking heads on TV, there is an awful lot of rhetoric and hyperbole getting thrown around. People get very hateful when they talk politics online.
One of the great things about Minnesota is that we don't have to register for any particular party. We can vote for anyone we want in the primaries, just like the general election. In some states, you have to register as a member of a party and you can only vote for someone in that party during the primaries. I like having choices. That makes it feel like the United States is almost a democracy.
I would not want to be a Democrat or a Republican. Both parties are owned by giant corporations and just as corrupt as the other. But a lot of the more fanatically loyal members of each party think anyone who disagrees with their choice is either crazy or ignorant. I think that is just stupid. If you honestly believe that you are smarter than everyone who disagrees with you, you are probably not that bright. Those of us who are not forced to be a member of any party in order to vote can be open minded. That certainly does not make us any smarter. Plenty of elections have shown that Americans are not the smartest people in the world. But at least we don't have to toe any party lines and parrot all the talking points. As an independent, I can vote for both Bernie Sanders and Mike McFadden. I would never do such a thing, but I could.
For anyone unfamiliar with American/Minnesotan politics, Bernie Sanders is a “Democrat” who will not win the nomination, and Mike McFadden is a Republican who was easily defeated in his run for Senate. Ideologically, they are polar opposites.
I am not going to say who I voted for. As soon as you talk about politics, people go crazy. I can't say if this is the most divisive time in American history. Since we are not currently in a state of civil war, it is probably not. But with the internet and a million talking heads on TV, there is an awful lot of rhetoric and hyperbole getting thrown around. People get very hateful when they talk politics online.
One of the great things about Minnesota is that we don't have to register for any particular party. We can vote for anyone we want in the primaries, just like the general election. In some states, you have to register as a member of a party and you can only vote for someone in that party during the primaries. I like having choices. That makes it feel like the United States is almost a democracy.
I would not want to be a Democrat or a Republican. Both parties are owned by giant corporations and just as corrupt as the other. But a lot of the more fanatically loyal members of each party think anyone who disagrees with their choice is either crazy or ignorant. I think that is just stupid. If you honestly believe that you are smarter than everyone who disagrees with you, you are probably not that bright. Those of us who are not forced to be a member of any party in order to vote can be open minded. That certainly does not make us any smarter. Plenty of elections have shown that Americans are not the smartest people in the world. But at least we don't have to toe any party lines and parrot all the talking points. As an independent, I can vote for both Bernie Sanders and Mike McFadden. I would never do such a thing, but I could.
For anyone unfamiliar with American/Minnesotan politics, Bernie Sanders is a “Democrat” who will not win the nomination, and Mike McFadden is a Republican who was easily defeated in his run for Senate. Ideologically, they are polar opposites.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Winter in Winnipeg part 4
Lily showed me the sights today. I am more than willing to sit around and talk about her father all day, but she wanted to go out and not think about anything for a while.
Winnipeg is similar to Minneapolis in a lot of ways. It is about the same size and has pretty much the same geography. Winnipeg is at the Red River/Assiniboine River junction with more than a few large and small lakes nearby and a couple of really big lakes out the back door. Minneapolis is at the Mississippi/Minnesota River junction and is completely surrounded by lakes, including a couple of Great Lakes. We get more rain and snow than they do, but our weather is pretty much the same. People assume that both cities are frozen tundras, but they both get hot in summer and more humid than outlanders expect. I used to think our summers were very humid before I moved to Hong Kong.
Winnipeg has a skywalk system that connects a few dozen buildings downtown. Whichever downtown buildings have no skywalk are connected by an underground tunnel. Naturally, part of the tunnel is a shopping mall. The Minneapolis Skyway is 11 miles of bridges that connect I don't know how many different buildings over 69 blocks. You can get to pretty much everything there is to see downtown without ever going outdoors. My first apartment was directly connected to a bank, hotel, Catholic school and the YMCA. I could almost walk to school without ever leaving the skyway. Up until I reached the school itself. Then I just had to cross the street.
Just like Minneapolis, Winnipeg has plenty of parks, especially near the river, and a million things to do and see outdoors, in winter or summer. This has been the coldest day of my visit by far, but it stopped snowing. The locals did not care how cold it was. The sun was out, so to them, this was the perfect day to go outdoors. Winnipeg, like Minneapolis, is a great place to go outdoors the second the snow stops.
Winnipeg is similar to Minneapolis in a lot of ways. It is about the same size and has pretty much the same geography. Winnipeg is at the Red River/Assiniboine River junction with more than a few large and small lakes nearby and a couple of really big lakes out the back door. Minneapolis is at the Mississippi/Minnesota River junction and is completely surrounded by lakes, including a couple of Great Lakes. We get more rain and snow than they do, but our weather is pretty much the same. People assume that both cities are frozen tundras, but they both get hot in summer and more humid than outlanders expect. I used to think our summers were very humid before I moved to Hong Kong.
Winnipeg has a skywalk system that connects a few dozen buildings downtown. Whichever downtown buildings have no skywalk are connected by an underground tunnel. Naturally, part of the tunnel is a shopping mall. The Minneapolis Skyway is 11 miles of bridges that connect I don't know how many different buildings over 69 blocks. You can get to pretty much everything there is to see downtown without ever going outdoors. My first apartment was directly connected to a bank, hotel, Catholic school and the YMCA. I could almost walk to school without ever leaving the skyway. Up until I reached the school itself. Then I just had to cross the street.
Just like Minneapolis, Winnipeg has plenty of parks, especially near the river, and a million things to do and see outdoors, in winter or summer. This has been the coldest day of my visit by far, but it stopped snowing. The locals did not care how cold it was. The sun was out, so to them, this was the perfect day to go outdoors. Winnipeg, like Minneapolis, is a great place to go outdoors the second the snow stops.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Winter in Winnipeg part 3
Yesterday was the burial. Lily's family is not especially religious, so there was no traditional funeral. The memorial service was at the funeral home after the burial. It was nice, as far as that sort of thing goes. Lily's father is genuinely missed. I think that is the most you can ask for after you have gone. If people mourn you, you did something right. Funerals are always sad, but if no one shows up, that must be heartbreaking to the surviving spouse. It felt like the whole town showed up for this guy. I never met him, but from what everyone said about him, he sounds like someone I would have liked.
The weather has been getting colder since I arrived, but there was never any snow until later last night, and barely any of it. It was dark and gloomy during the burial, but that was appropriate. It is snowing now, but it was pretty mild yesterday.
After the memorial service, some of us went to Lily's parents' house. I had never been, so I was curious to see where Lily grew up. Her childhood neighborhood could have been mine. It was the same suburban middle class block a world away but pretty close to the hustle and bustle of downtown. Their houses are smaller and much closer together. We had more trees everywhere. Their houses are right on top of each other, so there is less room for trees. But the streets look exactly the same. Our street signs were small and green while theirs are large and white – and in French and English – but if you saw a picture of my street and a picture of hers, you would never know they were different countries.
When people talk about nature versus nurture, I generally take the nurture side. How you are raised has a greater affect on who you become than where you were raised, within reasonable limits. Obviously, someone born in Scarsdale is going to live a different life from someone born in Mumbai. But Lily and I grew up in practically the same neighborhood, though with different nationalities. Minnesota and Manitoba have a lot in common, as far as climate, geography, culture and food. We met in Hong Kong, but we grew up 400 miles apart. To put it another way, there are only 15,000 lakes between her childhood home and mine. By Minnesota/Manitoba standards, that is practically right next door. It should be no wonder we get along so well.
But the nurture side of our childhoods were world's apart. Her parents did nothing to remind me of my parents, and her home life was nothing like mine.
Regardless of whatever happened in the past, Lily is spending the night in my hotel in the present. She has been at her parents' house for a month and needs a break. She stayed with her mother after the funeral, but now she needs to do whatever she wants to do. My job is to be with her wherever she needs to be. Plus, the hotel has an indoor heated swimming pool. That is never a bad thing.
The weather has been getting colder since I arrived, but there was never any snow until later last night, and barely any of it. It was dark and gloomy during the burial, but that was appropriate. It is snowing now, but it was pretty mild yesterday.
After the memorial service, some of us went to Lily's parents' house. I had never been, so I was curious to see where Lily grew up. Her childhood neighborhood could have been mine. It was the same suburban middle class block a world away but pretty close to the hustle and bustle of downtown. Their houses are smaller and much closer together. We had more trees everywhere. Their houses are right on top of each other, so there is less room for trees. But the streets look exactly the same. Our street signs were small and green while theirs are large and white – and in French and English – but if you saw a picture of my street and a picture of hers, you would never know they were different countries.
When people talk about nature versus nurture, I generally take the nurture side. How you are raised has a greater affect on who you become than where you were raised, within reasonable limits. Obviously, someone born in Scarsdale is going to live a different life from someone born in Mumbai. But Lily and I grew up in practically the same neighborhood, though with different nationalities. Minnesota and Manitoba have a lot in common, as far as climate, geography, culture and food. We met in Hong Kong, but we grew up 400 miles apart. To put it another way, there are only 15,000 lakes between her childhood home and mine. By Minnesota/Manitoba standards, that is practically right next door. It should be no wonder we get along so well.
But the nurture side of our childhoods were world's apart. Her parents did nothing to remind me of my parents, and her home life was nothing like mine.
Regardless of whatever happened in the past, Lily is spending the night in my hotel in the present. She has been at her parents' house for a month and needs a break. She stayed with her mother after the funeral, but now she needs to do whatever she wants to do. My job is to be with her wherever she needs to be. Plus, the hotel has an indoor heated swimming pool. That is never a bad thing.
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