Tel Aviv 2015

I am at Ben Gurion Airport. My flight leaves in two hours, but I got here far too early because everyone says you have to get to the airport early because the security is so strict. This is bad advice, at least from what I have seen. The security process is definitely different, but did not take any longer than any other airport.

They have layers of security here rather than just one checkpoint like most airports. A guard talked to the taxi driver before we could even drive in. Another guard looked at my passport and asked me a few questions before I could check in. The questions were simple – where are you from, where are you going, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. It is how you answer that matters. These are well trained security personnel and it shows. They pay as much attention to how you say it as what you say. This is not the TSA.

After a few quick questions, I was pointed to one of several different lines. I don't know what determines which line everyone goes in, but I was in the fast line. I don't think they want you to know why. They like to mix it up around here and keep people on their toes. It is probably harder to buck the system if you do not even understand the system.

Checking in was normal, except that I had a short conversation with the woman who gave me my boarding pass. Usually they just stare at their computers and grunt. The biggest difference in Israel is that security personnel actually talk to everyone.

The fun part was the pressure chamber x-ray machine. You put your bags in and if there is anything explosive inside, the machine detonates your bag right then and there. No fuss, no muss. No one's bag exploded while I was there. If you don't have anything explosive, it is just like any x-ray machine.

I can't understand why all airports don't do this. Well, I can. Money. Those machines cannot be cheap. It must be far cheaper to have a bunch of high school dropouts feel you up and tell everyone to throw their drinks and shampoo away. While Israel has genuine security who talk to every single person in the airport and watch how they respond, the United States tells everyone to take off their shoes and jump a bunch of hoops that do absolutely nothing to make anyone safer. The American checkpoints are less secure, more obtrusive and take far longer. Everyone knows their system is broken, but fixing it requires a dozen different committees to all agree, and you can't get more than two Americans to agree on anything once it becomes a political topic.

After the last security check, I was in the departure area with too much time on my hands. This airport is a shopping mall, just like every other airport, but the last thing I need is a two gallon bottle of duty free perfume. I might get a snack before the flight, but hopefully, I will mostly sleep on the plane.